


Unexpectedly Expecting!

by ExistentialMalaises



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: An Unexpected Journey, Angst and Romance, Avengers Family, Dialogue Heavy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pregnant Sex, Sam Wilson needs to be my bff, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-01 08:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12701373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistentialMalaises/pseuds/ExistentialMalaises
Summary: Dating in New York City is rough. [Y/N] is a busy woman, and Steve isn’t exactly looking. That doesn’t stop Sam from setting them up on a blind date. And after an eventful evening together, in which they decide they aren’t right for each other, the two go their separate ways… until [Y/N] receives some distressing news.





	1. The Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

> A while back I was browsing around on a forum where I learned that one of the most disliked tropes in fan fictions is (unplanned) pregnancies. I read through the many reasons why, entertained by the passionate responses and, _naturally_ , my brain became inspired to write out the trope.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and [Y/N] are set up on a blind date by Sam…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is set in the present, follows _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ but completely disregards everything that came after ( _Captain America: Civil War_ ).

The door to the art gallery opened and Steve took a quick step back so the door would not hit him in the shoulder. It was a glass door. The person on the other side should have been able to see him. He was really hard to miss. Steve sighed heavily. This blind date was already starting on a bad note, not that he was expecting it to go well at all. Steve wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship. He had no time for it, and he certainly was no longer in a position where he could build a domestic life with someone. His life was dangerous, with just the ring of his phone he’d be on the other side of the world, fighting battles only a few could. He no longer was the type of man who could settle down. It did not make him a good romantic partner for women. He understood that. Heck, he was not sure he had ever been one. Women certainly never gave him a second glance before the war against Germany. And after Peggy, well… all that was left was the mission. That was all he had for so long. And the mission was good. The mission was fulfilling… No, not fulfilling, but filling. The mission filled the emptiness Steve felt after he woke up from that numbing ice.  

Yes, the mission was enough, Steve thought as he checked in his coat and walked towards a cocktail table to look for his mystery date with the red dress on. Steve sighed. This was not simple. This was hard already. And he had gotten used to his quiet and simple life, but Natasha kept on insisting. She kept on noticing that behind all that quiet and simple, he was growing vacant. But Steve did not want romantic entanglements, he emphasized this to Natasha over and over again. Natasha told him though, that just because he was not looking for a relationship, it did not mean he could not have relations. It took Steve a while to get used to that idea. Why on earth would he do that? And then Natasha made a way too long list with reasons why. She seemed to focus specifically on loosening up. He should not have asked. Why did he ask? Anyways, Steve was not the type to wantonly bed women. But then Sam also started on him, talking about how it did not have to be one or the other. He could meet women. Get to know them. Date them. It would not have to go too far. Sam told him about how people courted each other nowadays, or their lack of courting. He showed Steve how technology played into that. Just a swipe to your left or to your right to find the man or woman of your dreams… or for a night. It was tacky, Steve had said, and Sam agreed. He had a better solution. There was this girl he knew. A really nice and sweet girl, who would be just Steve’s type. Steve doubted this. He never gave any indication of a type to either Natasha or Sam. He doubted he even had one. But after a lot of nagging from the both of them, Steve finally caved. In all honesty, they were adding to the stress, not diminishing it. He might as well just see the girl, go on a date with her, then tell her about the situation, and apologize for the wasted effort. 

Stepping inside the art gallery, [Y/N] blew away a lock of her hair that had brushed against her lip. That damn wind. It was a good thing she chose not to wear any lip gloss tonight. That would have been a sticky mess, and that was a no-go on a blind date. Or any other date, for that matter. Besides, men tended not to like glossy lips, and if Sam did not screw her over and things would go well tonight…, she would not mind locking lips. They would have to live with the red stain, though. She was not going to compromise on a bit of color. And red was her color. [Y/N] looked around the room. Sam had been vague over the phone, vague but eager—it made for an interesting call—but she did not really know what to expect. That was the point of a blind date, Sam had insisted. But she would recognize him when she would see him. It was the only hint he had given her. Well, that… and that he would be wearing a light blue dress shirt and a black tie. Those were super generic colors, but it was all she was getting apparently. After checking in her warm coat, she walked towards the tables, towards the people, and one by one she seized them up. There were plenty of men, and her heart skipped a beat whenever one would look at her. Sometimes in the hopes that they were _not_ her blind date, and sometimes to make some sorta contact to figure out if they were. What an unexpected rush. She had not felt this nervous in a long time. How unbecoming. Then she noticed the broad blonde man, and she had to blink several times. Was that… _Captain America_? What in the world?! He looked back at her, then down her dress, and he slowly raised his hand. A hesitant wave. Well, he was wearing the right clothing. She walked up to him, thinking she’d have to give Sam a shouting to the next day.

“Hi there...”

“Hello. My name’s Steve.” He gave her a curt nod, and [Y/N] raised her eyebrow amusedly. 

“I’m [Y/N]. You’re here, because of…”

“Sam.”

“Ok, good. Just checking. Nice to meet you, Steve.” She stuck out her hand, and he accepted it. 

“Nice to meet you too, [Y/N].” A small smile and complete silence as his eyes lowered to the cocktail table. She followed his vision. The table was empty, and this was kind of awkward.

“What about a drink before we see this place. Where’s the waiter?”

“Ah, let me get on that.” Steve walked towards a waiter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask what you would like to drink, so I got a fizzy drink, sparkling water, and red wine.” 

“Easy pickings. I’ll take the red wine.” Steve handed her the drink carefully. “Thanks.”

“Guess I’ll take the sparkling water.” He raised his glass, and they clinked their glasses together. Right after sipping his drink, Steve made a dismayed face and put away the glass. “Or this fizzy drink.”

“The sparkling water isn’t good?” 

“I guess I just learned I prefer regular water.” 

“Me too. I only want bubbles in my bath and alcohol.” She flashed him a smile, and he finally seemed to visibly relax, offering a smile in return. 

A moment passed and the two remained silent, just smiling at one another, when they both began to speak at the same time, not quite hearing what the other wanted to say.

“I’m sorry. Please, go first.” Steve said.

“No, you go first.” [Y/N] insisted. 

“Hm, alright. Uhh, I just wanted to say… [Y/N] you seem like a really nice girl. Certainly based on the way Sam praised you.”

“Ok, I won’t shout that much at him then.” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing, go on. What’s the but?”

“I, uhh, I’m not looking for a relationship.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and she raised her eyebrow. Captain America was a fuckboy? His first impression was fine, but he was not making a good second one. “In my line of work, I can’t really think of love. And I’m not. I, uhh, I… you seem really nice, but going on this blind date… I was just…”

“Doing Sam a favor? Way to make a girl feel special, Steve.”

“No, no, _wait_. I’m saying this wrong. I’m sorry. I mean that you seem really nice…”

“You said that.”

“But I don’t want to mislead you. I wouldn’t want you to have any wrong expectations. I’m not in a place where I could commit to anything. And I'm not the type of guy to have casual relationships either, no matter how much people keep insisting. I just didn't want to disappoint you.”

“God, Steve. Relax. Sam said you might be wound a bit too tight, but _damn_. This is just a date. Wedding proposals aren’t on the table.” She took a mouthful of her red wine, wondering why she was even trying, but when she glanced down his rock-hard figure that answer seemed blatantly obvious. “How about we just have some fun tonight? Not the casual kind, but just fun. Think you are capable of that?” 

“Uhh, yeah, sorry. I really didn’t mean to offend you.” 

“I’m not offended, unless you want out immediately and I got all dressed up for nothing.”

Steve shook his head, “I don’t. I’m actually very excited about this gallery. And Sam told me you work in the art business? I’m interested, it’s just that I, uhh, I just... “

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not looking for anything. I got it. Captain America is like any other man. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Does that make me jaded?“ [Y/N] shrugged. “But guess what, I wasn’t expecting to meet the love of my life either tonight. I was hoping to meet a nice guy and have a nice date. You’re not doing a great job so far, and we’re only 10 minutes in.”

“... I’m _so_ sorry. I feel awful.”

“Good.” [Y/N] took a sip of her drink, then smirked at him. He blinked, unsure of what to do or say next. “Seriously, Steve. _Relax_. How about we check out what this gallery has to offer then?” 

“Yes, that’s a great idea.” Steve nodded and they walked into the main hall, where [Y/N] immediately reached out for another red wine from the waiter. Tonight was turning out to be a disaster. 

Trying to make [Y/N] and himself feel more at ease with his blunder, he asked her about her profession. She explained that she managed a small but reasonably popular art gallery in the City, so to her tonight was part work and part fun, if Steve was able to bring the fun. Steve had smiled painfully at that remark, once again regretting his previous choice of words, but she continued joking about how she would promise not to be a bad date—unlike him—and devote her attention to him and not work. He deserved digs. He deserved it all. Steve was already dreading what Sam would say after she would speak with him. This was why he did not want to go on a blind date in the first place. Steve gazed at her as she spoke. She seemed very comfortable, comfortable talking about art, but also comfortable about being on this date. 

[Y/N] began to tell him about the new exhibition at this gallery: it was done in the name of Erwin Olaf, a famous Dutch photographer, who made a habit out of portraying the unfamiliar, but also the painful familiar. Steve did not know what to make of that yet. Slowly they made their way through the first small room, and Steve listened to the information she was providing him with. Paintings were more his things, paintings and sketches. He knew very little of photography, but he listened attentively to what she had to say. Soon they entered the second room, a small dark room, and the walls were surrounded with photographs of men and women with painted faces, acrobats, clowns, carousel, and much extravagance. 

“Ah, so this collection is called _Paradise The Club_. It’s about the hedonistic party scene back in the 90’s, but I think it can still be relatable today. It’s like the day after going out, when you wake up and you don’t have a heavy hangover, but there’s still this weird sensation coursing through your body that’s teetering somewhere between ‘last night was fun’ and ‘maybe I shouldn’t have behaved that way’.” 

Steve nodded thoughtfully to [Y/N] as they walked by the photos one by one, “Haven’t really experienced that myself.”

“Ok, so it’s not only a freeing experience, but also a scary thing to lose your inhibitions, not just for yourself personally, but also because of what comes to light when you do, which is what this collection shows quite clearly, in my opinion. At first glance the characters seem to be having fun, but when you look closer… what is going on is actually kind of terrifying. Look at those men, those… clowns. How they're holding on to the women. Do you see that manic look in their eyes? Do you see their creepy smiles? I can just hear them cackling. It’s so vivid.”

Steve stared at one of the photos, “Yes, this is definitely sinister.” 

“Uhah, it is. This collection was based on Rubens’ _The Rape of Hippodameia_ , actually. Another work showing the close relation between eroticism and violence. Disturbing, huh?”

“Very.” 

“But that’s what I love about Erwin Olaf. It’s not all rainbows and sunshines. It rarely is with art. Olaf conveys and/or critiques the darker, uglier and disastrous sides of man, but he also leaves a lot open to interpretation. Especially in his later works.”

“This definitely isn’t what I was expecting.” 

“What were you expecting?”

Steve shook his head, “I don’t know. Maybe something I’d relate to more?” 

“Well, maybe this then. This series… is supposed to depict eras closer to your original time, I think.”

“Oh really?” They continued walking into another room, and the colors changed to a soft lilac.

“Yeah, there’s three collections, actually, called _Rain_ , _Hope_ , and _Grief_. The photos display men, women and children from the 1950s and 1960s. All very typical American images: the housewife, the cheerleader, the Mad Men-esque employees, the boy scout, etc. And they all look so broken, bored… or _empty_. The first time I saw these, they really spoke to me.”

“Why is that?” Steve stopped walking, and stared quietly at the boy scout.  

“It made me wonder about what was going on, what happened for them to stare out the window, for them to have their backs turned to one another, for them to gaze away so vacantly. What is going on? As sociologists have analyzed, the postwar years weren’t as blissful as some might’ve assumed. It was filled with anxiety and a growing sense of loneliness. Consumerism kept growing. Television made a huge impact, and people never felt more alienated. I think that’s what Olaf is trying to show with these photos.” 

Steve let that sink in for a second. The postwar years he never got to be a part of, what would they have been like for him? “There’s a fragile beauty to the people in these photos. It’s very evocative.”

“A bit more relatable?”

“I suppose so,” Steve took a step away from the photo, and they moved towards the fourth and final room. 

“I don’t want to say ‘good’, but I’m glad you’re connecting with it.” 

“Me too, this is fascinating. And completely out of my comfort zone when it comes to art. Please show me the other collections.” He looked back at her with curious eyes, ready to see more. 

A big smile warmed [Y/N]’s face, “Will do.”  

After giving Steve the complete and total rundown on the photographer’s work, the two took an Uber to a restaurant of her choice. And it had been a good one, that was a thought that had immediately crossed her mind once she recognized who her blind date was. She had picked _Pasquele Jones_ , her favorite pizza place in Lower Manhattan, because of its vibrant and easygoing vibe. Steve seemed like the type of man who would appreciate that. He seemed like the type of man who _needed_ that. Maybe she should give it to him. There were worse things, [Y/N] thought when they were guided to their seats by the bar, where there was a welcoming view into the open kitchen. 

“I can’t believe we just did that. It’s like we were in an entirely different place. Each room had such a different atmosphere too. Oh, we’re having pizza?” Steve enthused as he looked around the restaurant.

“Yeah, hope you like pizza. There’s pasta and other stuff too.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“The way to anyone’s heart, right?”

“Sure is!” Steve beamed. 

It was interesting to see him loosen up, she had seen him do it at other moments during their date so far, but she used those opportunities to remind him of his earlier misstep. It was a huge misstep, though. He needed the reminder. Plus, it was entertaining. This was nice too, and she wanted to let him know that. “See what happens when you try to approach new things and people with an open mind? You have fun.” 

“Yeah, you're absolutely right. I almost missed out on such an enlightening and inspiring event.” 

“And amazing woman,” [Y/N] nudged her arm against his.

Steve chuckled softly, “That too. Certainly.” 

“Oh my, my first compliment of the night. One I had to ask for myself, but it'll do.” She winked at him. 

“I think I called you ‘nice’ before.” 

“Thrice even,  but paired with rejection. Besides, I think I like ‘amazing’ better.” 

“You are, though. Both of those things. I'm really sorry again for making such an ass out of myself earlier. I didn't mean to reject you… I was just… I don't know what I was doing.” 

A smirk grew on her face, “Ah, you're only a man.” 

“Think you're ever going to let it go?” Steve looked at her hopefully.

“Oh, you're already forgiven. You've taken my jibes like a champ. But while I might forgive easily, forget… I don't. Takes the fun out it, wouldn't you say?” 

“Hmm, _no_. I'd say no.” Steve glanced at the menu, ready to make a choice and hopefully switch to a less self-deprecating topic. [Y/N] smirked and followed his lead. After professing his love for pizza, Steve obviously went for a diavola pizza. [Y/N] picked the margherita. The girl liked cheese. There was no way to argue with that. 

“I didn’t know you could draw! So you’re quite the artist then.” [Y/N] said as she carefully placed a piece of pizza between her lips, trying not to let it fall anywhere but in her mouth. Pizza could get messy so easily.

“It’s nothing I ever pursued. It’s just something I do to take my mind off things.” 

“And what do you draw then?”

“Anything that comes to mind really. Landscapes, inanimate objects, people, animals.” 

“Ever thought of turning your drawings into something else? A digital artwork? A painting?” 

Steve looked at her questioningly, “Digital artwork?”

“Yeah, a lot of artists upload their drawings to their computer, they make them digital, and they continue filling in the drawings via programs. Illustration, that’s the general term that encompasses many other forms of art. I could show you later. It’ll open a whole new world of possibilities for you.”

“Oh, right.” Steve seemed to reflect something, then took a bite of his pizza. 

“If you want to, of course.”

“I do. I just… I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on. I’ve gone to many art museums since I’ve been back, but, uhh, I don’t exactly have anyone to talk to about this sort of stuff. Usually it’s more about current evens, if it isn’t always about work, which is fine too. This is just… a welcome change.” 

“Then Sam did a good thing.” [Y/N]’s eyes twinkled with intent, and she could see the flush that was creeping on Steve’s face. The night was taking an interesting turn for the better… and she was going to explore it further. 

“Hm, yeah. Now that you mention him... How well do you know Sam?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Steve shook his head, and [Y/N] laughed. “How did he even pitch me to you? ‘I know a nice girl, you _must_ go on this blind date with her’?”

“More or less… I wasn’t exactly looking to date anyone, so it’s not like I asked for a lot of information, but he did tell me what you do for a living and that you’re a good friend. Oh, and that you’d be just my type.” Steve shook his head, like he was reliving the memory. 

[Y/N] raised her eyebrow and her arm brushed against his on the counter table of the bar, “Just your type, huh?”

“Haha, yeah… I don’t know what he meant.” Steve laughed nervously and stuffed his face with more pizza. 

“Alright, well, Sam and I go way back. When we were practically in diapers.”

“Really?”

“Ok, I’m overdoing it slightly. My parents and I moved to his neighborhood when we were cute, teeny versions of ourselves, and I went to kindergarten with his younger sister, Sarah. She and I quickly became best friends, and Sam inserts himself into everything as I’m sure you’re well aware of, so Sam and I became best friends soon enough after that too.” 

“That is a long time! It’s admirable that you are all still friends today.”

“Oh, we put in some effort every now and then, but it’s easy. We’re practically family. We don’t have to see each other often, but when we do… it just clicks. Does that make sense?” 

Steve nodded, “I think so. I once had a friend like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes… but that’s a lifetime ago, I guess.” 

“Well, you have a great friend in Sam. I can testify to that.” 

“I’ll tell him you said that,” Steve smiled.

“Oh, God, _please_ don’t.” [Y/N] placed her hand on his bicep, and she could feel his upper arm tightening under her touch. “Wouldn’t want it to go to his head.” She grinned, and Steve let out a little laugh as he glanced from her hand to her lips.  

The night quickly turned darker, and with their bellies all full, eventually the time came to leave the restaurant. They had spent a good couple of hours together, and besides the immediate mishap, the rest of the night had turned out to be quite nice. She would have admitted that she was fairly nervous when she realized Captain America was her blind date, but once he set the record straight that he was just like any other man she knew… it quickly changed that idealized perception she had had of him. He clearly had his flaws, and he was not that great at hiding his, but that did not take away that he had an amazing body too. Ok, and his personality really was not that bad either. He had been a gentleman for the rest of the night. A tad bit awkward. A tad bit nervous. A tad bit lacking in social skills. But these were usually not a no-go for her. And she had been curious about him… way before she ever met him. She imagined she was not the only woman. It was a pity he made himself so unavailable, but maybe she could convince him to engage in certain activities tonight. 

Steve and [Y/N] took an Uber back to her place. She had told him she could take the car back herself, it really was no problem, just a typical night out in the City, but he had insisted.These customary social conventions. No date of his would just take the car back. He would drop her off, at the very least. No was not an answer he was willing to accept, and it pleased [Y/N]. It was exactly what she was hoping for, because it meant they were only a couple of steps away from her home… away from her bedroom… or any other room. 

They walked towards the brown stairs, and [Y/N] searched for her keys in her bag. She took a step up the stairs and Steve stood still in front of her, their eyes quietly connecting. “Thank you for taking me home, Steve. You’re quite the gentleman.”

“Hm, I had some serious making up to do.”

“You did…” She held on to her bag and keys with one hand while the other glided over his tie slowly and she could see him gulp, “And I really can’t let Captain America go just yet… without getting my hands on him.” She curled her fingers around the fabric, and pulled Steve towards her, straining his tie as he inched closer. “Now _that_ would be a damn shame. One I’d regret. And you wouldn’t want me to do anything I regret, right?” 

A gentle breeze gusted by them, sending a cool rush of wind up her dress, but she could feel the heat of his breath brushing against her lips now… and that was enough to keep her warm. 

“I wouldn’t…” Steve murmured. 

“So what about a nightcap?”

“I guess I could have one…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you give this story some kudos and comments if you're enjoying it. Receiving your feedback makes the experience ten times better! You can also find me on [Tumblr](https://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com/).


	2. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after, Sam tries to get the lowdown on how the blind date went between [Y/N] and Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhh, this gets pretty explicit. FYI.

The next morning [Y/N] woke up at six a.m. on the dot, even without the help of her alarm. It was the blessing and evil of a set schedule, and even on Sundays she could not escape from it. After shifting her position several times underneath her warm covers, she finally decided to give her failed attempt at more sleep a rest and rose from her bed. She opened the blinds, let the penetrating sunlight enter, made herself a pot of filtered coffee, and headed towards the shower. The routine of her day was already kicking in, and it required little to no thinking on her part. As soon as the shower and that coffee would properly wake her up, she would go for her morning jog, get that adrenaline running through her veins, and focus her mind on the busy week that was to come. 

Plopping down on her couch to tie the laces of her sneakers, [Y/N] heard her smartphone fall from the pocket of her sweatpants to the carpet. Oh, _shit_. She immediately picked it up and glanced at the screen. No scratches. No cracks. Minor heart attack averted. [Y/N] unlocked her smartphone and browsed through her contact list. After tapping on Sam’s name, she noticed a packet of chewing gum on her coffee table that she had misplaced the day before. It was spearmint, her favorite flavor. Just as she was about to lean forward to grab a strip, Sam picked up the phone. 

“It’s 6.45 a.m.,” A groggy-sounding Sam muttered.

“Dude, you set me up with Captain America of all people, and didn’t think to give me a warning? What’s the matter with you?!” [Y/N] said, awkwardly unwrapping the chewing gum with one hand and placing it in her mouth. 

“Seriously, it’s 6.45 a.m. on a Sunday.”

“Heard you the first time.”

“I take it the date went well then?”

“Hell yes, it did. I’m still shocked though. If you ever do this to me again, you’re a dead man.” 

“I don’t have that many superhero friends, you know.” She could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

[Y/N] blew on her chewing gum until it popped, “Nahuh, you got plenty.”

“Are you hustlin’ for more blind dates?” Sam laughed.

“God no, I still need to recover from this one.”

She heard a chuckle coming from the other side of the phone, “Glad you had fun.” 

“So, you, me and Sarah, bottomless brunch? We got some catching up to do. Next week?”

“Now you’re talkin’ my language,” Sam said. 

“Uhah, I’ll text you the details. Gotta run. Literally.”

With another tap, [Y/N] ended the call, probably to Sam’s relief. She tied the laces of her sneakers, grabbed her keys and earphones, and left her apartment to get rid of that newfound energy she got from the night before. 

The habitual jog through the park was a well-established one for [Y/N] by now. Where at first she had trouble keeping her breathing at a comfortable and steady level, she now fell easily into the desired pattern. The morning wind rushed past her face, and the green leaves disintegrated underneath the soles of her sneakers with each paced step forward. Her muscles were already flowing with the warmth of exertion, and the burn in her lungs was setting in sooner than she had expected, probably from her extracurricular activity. A very physical activity. [Y/N] slowed down her breathing so she would not immediately be straining her chest, and she focused on her exhalations. Soon enough the running fell into place again, and it felt like being on autopilot. She no longer needed to think about what she was doing, she was simply doing it. It was like surrendering to the elements, and her mind began to drift back to the night before, to that other very physical activity. 

It had been a decent first date, especially considering it was a blind one. She had invited him back to her place, since it would never go further than a first date, and he had willingly accepted. Knowing this helped. It gave her courage, so she made her move. 

The evening luminescence from the teeming City peeked through her opened slat blinds and casted a soft golden light into her kitchen. Stripes of darkness on stripes of dimmed brilliance. [Y/N] and Steve were standing in the doorway, his hand in hers, their eyes locked on each other. The two snifters of cognac behind them, placed on her kitchen counter, had barely been touched. 

“I’m sure you knew what _a night cap_ meant, Steve.” [Y/N] said as she gently pulled him by the hand and led him into her bedroom.

Steve nodded and looked around her room with a small smile visible on his lips. “Still, doesn’t mean we should be doing this.” 

“And why’s that?” [Y/N] asked as they both came to a standstill, only an inch of space between them, and their fingers softly brushing against one another, hers slowly crawling up his arms. 

“Because… I thought it was clear I’m not looking for anything?” Steve said with a steady voice, and he held on to her elbows while her hands found his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat. It was anything but steady.

“Oh, abundantly clear.” She loosened his tie. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have a bit of fun right now, though.” She unbuttoned his collar. 

Steve shook his head, and a chuckle escaped his lips. “You’re a hard woman to say ‘no’ to.” His grip on her elbows tightened when she raised her heels and inched closer towards his mouth. 

“Then why bother?” She whispered, her eyes closing and the tension in her stomach building. 

He leaned down, giving in. His warm breath skimmed over her skin before their lips connected, and she could hear his acceptance. It was a soft hum of assent. “ _Hm_.” And then she felt it. 

Steve’s hands lowered to her hips, where he rested them as he explored her mouth further, tasting her tongue, tasting her warmth. Her heart started thudding louder, the thrill of what they were doing getting to her and making her figure flush with desire. Immediately wanting more, her fingers dug deep, sinking into his skin, and she pulled on his tie, directing him towards her bed as those fingers unbuttoned his shirt and threw the tie on the carpet. 

She sat him down on the side of her bed with a slight shove, and he dropped his arms next to him, watching her as she straddled him and took off his blue shirt. He let her undress him, and she concluded that his tight shirt gave away a lot... His body certainly was rock-hard. Her flat hands glided over his firm stomach to his smooth chest, adding pressure around the curves of his muscles; stroking his tautened nipples, his strained biceps... and Steve pulled her closer to connect their lips again. He placed his fingers in the nape of her neck, holding her face, and breathed her in. 

His kisses were unhurried and gentle, unlike her it seemed like he was in no way rushing, and that slow-moving pace made it all the more exhilarating. It took her a couple of seconds to get accustomed to his languid manner, but she liked it. He was consuming her bit by bit, and it made her anxious for more. She tightened the grasp of her legs around him, rocked her body back and forth on top of him, pressed herself harder against him, until she could feel him prominently underneath her. Moving back. Pushing up. Searching for friction. 

“Hm, that’s more like it.” [Y/N] said and pushed Steve flat on his back on the bed. He chuckled initially, but when she leaned forward and gave him the friction his body was looking for, a soft moan escaped from his lips and he closed his eyes. She pushed her herself harder down on him, his growing erection underneath his jeans rubbing roughly against the thin layer of her panties, and hitting her sensitive spot the right way. She removed her red dress, revealing the lacy bra and panties underneath. “You’re allowed to touch, you know. Kind of the whole point of what we’re doing.” 

With half-lidded eyes he looked up at her again, then his vision glided down to her underwear. She rolled her body on top of him again, relishing the way he was watching her, and Steve sat back up, his fingers grazing over her arms… until they reached her breasts, and he cupped them softly. He kneaded them, and her nipples grew more sensitive. 

“Can I?” He asked while his eyes remained locked tight on her breasts. 

“Yes…”

Steve smiled and pushed her bra straps aside. He searched for the clasp while she placed kisses on his clean-shaven jaw, his earlobe, the nape of his neck, until he had bared her breasts and his lips lowered to her nipples. With open-mouthed kisses he sucked on her nipples one by one, rolling his velvet tongue around them and pressing his lips together. The warm tingling sensation had her moving against his mouth instantly. 

“ _Hmm_.” He murmured against her skin, then dragged his mouth up to the crook of her neck while his nails dug into her hips and slithered underneath the hem of her panties. [Y/N] felt his hot breath trail over her sensitive skin, followed by tender kisses and fleeting touches of his tongue, leaving behind a burning need for more. Much more. 

She wrapped her arms around him, pushing him closer to her neck and spurring him on to continue giving her those hot kisses that were readying her for him, but Steve grabbed her by the hips and placed her on her back in the middle of the bed. She simpered at the sudden movement, adrenaline rushing through her veins, then unbuckled and unbuttoned his jeans. Steve hovered above her, resting on his elbows and slowly glancing down her frame, and she seized his fully hardened cock through his boxers and squeezed. He whimpered and captured her lips with his, passion taking over. His hand glided over her figure to her panties, which he pulled down over her ass with one quick tug. She wriggled out of them, and he immediately licked his fingers so he could gradually trail them over her skin tantalizingly slow, making her tingle, until they reached her groin. Lowering his head once more, Steve marked her breasts with the fruity notes from the cognac that still lingered on his tongue while his wetted fingers connected with her moisture. 

His gradual actions were quickly driving her crazy. Soft circles around her nub. Warmth growing. A trail of hot wetness from between her folds up to her bundle of nerves. Breathing intensifying. Added pressure to those soft circles. [Y/N] sighed, and focused on the tension. Steve sucked on her neck. [Y/N] moaned in appreciation. Steve finally moved faster, and [Y/N] looked up at him with hungry eyes. She enjoyed his pace, but she also needed things to speed up some more. 

“I’m really ready, Steve. Just let me grab a—” 

“No, I, _uhh_ , just relax.” He kissed her slowly, deepening the kiss and still rubbing his long fingers between her folds and over her clit. 

She grinned and tried to steady her breathing, “Want to see me come?” 

“I do...” He looked at her without blinking. 

“Then tell me.”

“I, uhh, I want to watch you come.”

“Yeah?”

Steve glanced at her lips and pecked them, “Yeah...”

“How?”

“I, uhh…” Steve brushed the tip of his thumb over her clit, adding more pressure than he had before, and she tried not to suck in her breath. 

Her hand traveled to the back of his neck, and she caressed him there, encouraging him on. “Use your words, Steve, or you’re not going to get what you want.” 

“I want to watch you come…”—He cleared his throat—“With my fingers inside of you and touching you… right here.” He slipped a finger inside of her, gently dipping further, and continued to stroke her clit with his thumb. [Y/N] drew in her breath, and let the throbbing sensation wash over her again. 

“That’s it... More to the left. Like this.” [Y/N] placed her hand over his, and showed him how she preferred to be touched, how she felt more if he dipped his finger in that way. “Keep doing that.” She murmured, and Steve added another finger and built the rhythm steadily, curling his fingers and unhurriedly adding more pressure when he noticed her breathing became deeper and deeper. She could feel his eyes on her face, studying her quietly, and she closed her eyes to concentrate on what was fervently growing inside of her.  “ _Hmmm_. Yeah, Steve, that feels so good.” Her tongue peeked out and wetted her lips, and she inhaled with greater exertion, a soft whimper coming out. 

The more pressure he added, the quicker [Y/N] was coming undone. Within minutes of steadily increasing her tension, the warmth spread throughout her figure and he had her flushing all over. Her orgasm came in strong, and flooded any rational thought, making her lose her wits. Her legs tensed up, her body writhed, and her fingers twisted around the cotton linens of her bed. Incoherent words were overpowered by loud moans until all they both heard was her gasping for air. 

After opening her eyes, she noticed his intense gaze on her again and she laughed, a bit on edge in the wake of orgasmic bliss. It was a bit unnerving how he watched her. She was used to men taking what they wanted, so she took what she wanted right back, but Steve he… he kept _studying_ her. It was different, alright. Hopefully she offered a pleasing visual, but by the looks of it… and the feel—she took hold of his cock again—she seemed to be doing more than alright. 

“Now I’m ready,” Steve smiled and sucked his fingers clean one by one. 

The visual of how his warm tongue peeked out of his mouth and slithered past his fingers to lick up her juices… it was disarming, and [Y/N] laughed again, hoping her stares weren’t obvious. Her heart was still beating loudly in her chest, but she tried to sound calmer than she felt, “That so?” 

Steve laughed too and nodded, removing the last layers of clothing, and [Y/N] opened her bedside table to take out a condom. 

She eyed him, “I’m thinking extra large? The condom, I mean.”

“Uhh, yes.” Steve blushed as he sat up on his knees on the bed, his cock put on full display. Upright and generous. It was hard not to look at. _Anyways_ , why was he blushing? _Jesus_. She could feel herself flush again. 

“Alright, Captain America. Let’s get this show on the road.” She ripped the packaging open, removed the condom and placed the ring between her lips. Then she bent down and crawled towards him on her hands and knees. Steve’s mouth fell open, but he remained still. Wrapping her fingers tightly around his base, she pulled back his foreskin and held him straight in front of her face. She could feel his body tensing up, and his arms moved to his sides, unsure of what to do. She quickly glanced up at him while she put the condom on the tip of his cock with her mouth, and found him staring back. As she rolled the condom out over the shaft, her lips tight around him, she saw his body slacken, relaxing at the touch. With her other hand she unrolled the condom completely, and lifted herself and mirrored his position, kneeling alongside him. 

Steve put his hands on her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. It was more passionate than the previous ones had been, but he was still taking his time. “That’s a strange flavor,” Steve murmured against her mouth, after he tasted the lubricant of the condom on her lips. 

“Don’t I know it,” [Y/N] pushed him on the bed, and his back gently broke the fall. 

He pulled her down on top of him, “But I do appreciate it.”

“Good.” She properly straddled his hips and leaned forward to continue kissing him, her stomach flat on his.  

“A lot.” The palm of his hands glided over her ass, and his tongue slid past her lip. 

“Better.” She smiled at him, leaning away, and her finger traced a random figure from his chest to his neck. She was stalling. “So what do you want next?” 

“I think you know…”

“Tell me, anyways.” 

“I want to be inside of you,” Another unhurried kiss. “I like this view already.” His eyes fluttered to her breasts, which he kneaded. Then he lifted his head to lick her nipple. “Now all there is left is for me to feel your warmth around my... _you know_.” 

“Your cock?”

“Yes…” His breath got caught in his throat when she lifted her hips and held on to him. 

She glided him between her folds to her center, “This warmth?”

“ _Ahhh_ , yes. I want that.” Steve nodded fervently, and she had to suppress her smile. 

“How could I deny _me_ that?” [Y/N] said and lowered down on his cock, inch by inch. 

The strain he put on her made her eyes roll back in pleasure, and she immediately had to concentrate on her movements so she would not rush herself. Steve’s nails dug into her hips, trying to keep himself in control, and she began to rock back and forth. Every time she sat down on him, he stretched her again, filling her up just the way she craved it. She rested her forehead on his and their figures rubbed against one another. “Ahhhh, [Y/N]. Oh... _Wow_.” Steve kissed her through her drawn-out grinds, and his arms wrapped tightly around her back. 

“Yeah?”

Steve swallowed hard, “ _Yes_ …”

Their breaths mingled, his exhalations became her inhalations, and she lost herself in him each time he filled her up, making her soft cries grow louder. The friction between their bodies started to rebuild that lascivious craving inside of her again. Needing more she sat up straight on top of him and rubbed her fingers over her clit with one hand while she tried to keep herself steady with the other one. After a couple of grinds, Steve moved along with her and sat up, and she locked her legs around his waist. The fit was even tighter now that he was nestled deeper inside of her, and she was growing dizzier with lust. 

Steve wrapped his arms around her ass, so he could help her keep her rhythm… and kiss her all over. Her lips, her slack jaw, her ear, her sensitive neck, her collarbone, and her perky breasts. Nothing was untouched while [Y/N] worked herself up to another high. And she was… Oh, _God_ , she was. Coated in a thin sheet of sweat, she clamped her body around him until she quivered and let go. “Ahhh, I’m-I’m… _uhhh_.” It felt like trails of fire were gyrating through her loins, and she was certain she would’ve seen fucking stars had her eyes been open. As her second orgasm coursed through her body and raspy moans fell from her lips, she vaguely heard Steve whimpering underneath her. 

“ _Ohh_ , that was intense,” Steve uttered hoarsely when she looked at him again. 

[Y/N] sighed in contentment. “Hm, it really was.”

“I almost came on the spot… you were squeezing really hard.”

“Well, why didn’t you?”

“I-I want to make it last. Make it count. You feel too good.”

“ _Hmmm_. Then make it count.” Her nails raked through his hair, pulling it back a bit, and she sucked on his bottom lip, pecking it slowly, lingering there, as she moved up and down him again. 

He groaned. 

Steve pushed her down on him completely, grabbed her hips and placed her ass on the bed, shifting his legs so he was the one who was taking charge now. The swift movement ensured he was buried further down in her, and she couldn’t help but moan at that. [Y/N] leaned back on her elbows, and Steve raised her hips off the bed, his hands on her side and the small of her back, and he rocked her body to and fro. His slick thrusts were slow, but he made every one of them count by pushing deep inside of her. As deep as he could go. His head fell forward towards [Y/N], and he cherished her breasts with his teeth and tongue while she caressed the back of his damp neck, gasping out every time he pushed in. 

Darkened blue eyes were hooded beneath heavy lids and long lashes, sensual and revering, and roamed intently over her body to steadily linger on her face. She stared back at him, satiated yet inflamed, still unused to such tender attention from someone she barely knew while he slid in and out of her with a measured and gentle rhythm. His swollen pink lips parted in pleasure, strained gulps of air and low moans of fulfillment slipped out, and wordlessly urged her to persist… to prolong. 

Nestling himself in her affectionate embrace, Steve and [Y/N] fell back on the bed, and he pushed inside her harder. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then a long rough moan reverberated against her ear when he trembled on top of her after several more thrusts, releasing himself inside her. They remained like that, taking their time, Steve kissing her gently, [Y/N] caressing him languorously, until he felt himself grow smaller and he had to take care of the condom. 

 

***

 

As soon as Steve sat down on his couch in the living room of his suite in The Avengers’ Tower, after he had taken his damn time this morning to get out of bed, hit the gym for a workout, and took a long and refreshing shower, Natasha knocked on his door. Begrudgingly Steve got off the couch and walked to the door, thinking how life would be quieter if he lived on his own somewhere in Brooklyn. Quieter, but also _lonelier_. That held him back. That, and the prices. Houses in Brooklyn were much too expensive. 

Steve knew why Natasha was here. After making her some tea, he returned to his couch quietly, and the examination began. Natasha cared so much, and it was endearing. He could never really keep his annoyance up for long, not around her, but he could try his hardest not to tell her what she wanted to hear. The remnants of last night were still very vivid—too vivid—in his mind, and it was intriguing to see Natasha’s big brains at work as she tried to figure him out. Over the years Steve had learned how to conceal his feelings better from her, but she always found a way. Somehow. 

Another loud knock on the door, and Steve looked to Natasha but she only raised her shoulders. He got up from the couch and walked to the door of his apartment again.

“Hello, hello. I brought breakfast burritos. You can thank me at the dinner table.” Sam said cheerfully, walking into Steve’s suite and towards his small kitchen. Steve closed the door to his apartment and dragged his feet behind Sam. He was not looking forward to this. Sam obviously came over with one specific purpose, and he did not want to disappoint his friend. 

“Oh, hey, Sam.” Natasha joined Steve and Sam in the kitchen. 

Sam gave her a nod, “You’re here for the 411 too, huh?”

“Mhmm,” Natasha blew on her hot cup of tea. “But you know Steve; he’s not the most forthcoming man.”

“Don’t we all know it.”

“Yeah, I’m still right here.” Steve said while he opened a kitchen cabinet and removed three plates. 

Sam had put down the carton bag he was holding on Steve’s table and took out the small food containers one by one. “Well, what are friends for if not to talk about you in front of your face?”

“Better than doing it behind your back,” Natasha sat down on one of the dining table chairs. 

“A testament of true friendship,” Sam said with a grin, and he handed Natasha her burrito.

“I’m glad you two are so sure about that,” Steve put a plate and matching cutlery down on the table in front of each of their seats, then sat down himself.

A brief period of silence befell the three friends while they consumed their—presumably—first meal of the day in the small kitchen, but soon enough Sam demanded for the acknowledgement of gratitude from the two others, and chattering and laughters followed suit. 

“So what about it, Steve? Are you going to spill, or what?” Sam walked to the coffee pot, resting on Steve’s kitchen counter, and poured himself a cup.

“Spill what?” Steve said through his chewing, still avoiding the talk, and Natasha raised her eyebrow.

“Uhh, your date.” Sam put down the pot, and walked back to the table.

“It was… fun.” 

“Yeah, how was the gallery? What did you two end up doing?

“We saw different collections by this photographer called Erwin Olaf. It was very… _different_ , but I suppose different isn’t always bad.” 

“Uhah, what else?”

Steve took the last big bite of his burrito and chewed before he spoke again, “Dinner and drinks.”

“Had a lot to talk about?”

“Yeah, she’s very conversational.”

“Were _you_?” Natasha took a swig of her less hot tea. 

“I think I did alright. Why, am I not that chatty normally?” Steve looked around the table, a cheeky smile appearing on his face.

“I’m not going to respond to that,” Natasha finished her tea.

Sam grinned to Natasha then asked, “So you had a good time. It was a fun?”

“Yes. Your friend, she’s… she’s really nice.”

“Right. You guys have a lot in common!”

“Hm, I guess we do.” Steve grabbed another burrito. 

“And she’s not bad on the eyes?”

An image of [Y/N] rolling her body on top of him flashed before his eyes and he felt the need to open his windows, “She definitely isn’t.”

“Does that explain why you came home so late last night?” Natasha smirked. 

“Wow, wow, _wow_. Hold it right there! I don’t need to hear that kinda talk about [Y/N].” Sam placed his hands over his ears to emphasize his protest.

“I would never talk about such a thing, Sam. Nat knows this.” Steve deadpanned Natasha, and she raised her shoulders casually before walking to the stove to make herself more tea. 

“Uhah,” Sam said skeptically.

“I still don’t hear you denying it.” Natasha said after she placed Steve’s tea kettle on the stove. 

“ _Anyways_ , are you going to see her again?” Sam interjected.

“No, I better not.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I keep telling you two. There’s no room for romance in my life.”

“Guess we should give it a rest.” Natasha cut in on whatever Sam was about to say, and Steve felt grateful. “He went out with her. You said she was the right girl for him, hm?”

“She is!” Sam insisted.

“Well, it’s still not enough to change his mind, so what more is there…”

Steve gave Natasha an appreciative nod, “Thanks, Nat.”

“Alright…” Sam shook his head, looking disappointed, and Steve felt bad again. Sure, Sam was right. It ended up being a great night. Steve even had had a bit too much fun. Really, he never should have said ‘yes’ in the first place, but he was hoping it would finally make them understand… that… that he was not ready. Nor was he sure he would ever be ready. Not anymore. Not after everything that had happened in his life. 

And [Y/N]... she was a lovely girl in many, _many_ ways, but Steve simply was not that type of man. Last night, he was in the moment and he was trying something new… something casual, and he learned that despite it being very enjoyable, it was still not for him. Yes, Sam was also right that they had a lot in common, and Steve would be lying to himself if he said he was not intrigued by [Y/N]. She was very likeable, and there was a part of him that wanted to know more about her. A big part, maybe. But it changed nothing. He still did not have any room in his life for a sweetheart, no matter how sweet she was. It would not be fair to either of them, so Steve decided it was for the best to just treat the previous night, to see the blind date, as a learning experience. A very fun and fruitful one. As it turned out, Steve learned a lot about himself last night. He was not a fan of sparkling water either.


	3. The Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every action bears a consequence, even when she thought she was responsible… When Mother Nature doesn’t come knocking, [Y/N] needs to have some talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: condoms are a good birth control method. Be safe. Use protection.  
> Oh, and also.. I did some visual things. I hope you like it :) Do let me know!

A quiet Sunday was all she needed to focus on the week ahead. Sometimes those Sundays weren’t as quiet; usually the case when she made an appointment with Sam and Sarah for a bottomless brunch. They knew how to throw back the mimosas, and New York City was not safe from their shenanigans after that. They would certainly be up to trouble. So when [Y/N] was tired the next day at work, and even the day after that, she paid it no heed. She had been up to no good. And boy, was it good. She was simply paying the price. But then the fatigue did not wear down after a couple of nights of proper eight hours of sleep. Still, she figured she needed the weekend to rest… until her period didn’t come that weekend. That made her suspicious. Normally her cycle was very stable. She knew when to expect it, so why wasn’t it here? Was it stress-related? She was under a lot of stress at work, but who wasn’t in this City? Was she playing it down or was there more to it? She decided not to leave anything up to chance. 

Once the thought of pregnancy popped into her head, it was no longer able to leave, so she immediately headed to a 7-Eleven to get a test. The walk back home had her fretting. She really had to buy a damn pregnancy test. That made things realer than she would’ve liked them to be, but there was no running away from something like this, so she walked into her bathroom and did what had to be done: pee on a stick. 

Dread was seeping into her veins. She was not pregnant. She could not be. They used protection, and the chance of condoms failing was so minimal. She would not be pregnant. This was just a precaution undertaken to ease that worried mind of hers. Otherwise it would only add more stress to her body, and might even extend this no-bleeding period. She could not take that risk. Just a safety check, [Y/N] thought as she tried not to look at the test yet. It was not showing anything, anyways. 

Walking out of her bathroom, she busied herself in her kitchen for five minutes, putting ground beans in her coffee machine and placing a bagel in her toaster, until she was certain those minutes had passed and the result would show she was not pregnant. It had to.

Puffing out an anxious breath, [Y/N] steadied herself in front of her bathroom sink, picked up the small device and stared at it. 

She blinked. 

She blinked again, but nothing changed. 

Two pink stripes.

Pregnant.

Her heart was thudding loudly. Something was gripping it and squeezing tightly. Squeezing the life out of her. _How_ could this be? 

The pregnancy test fell from her fingers and straight into the sink. The soft plastic thud asked for her immediate attention, and she looked at it again. 

There it was. 

Those two pink stripes were like glaring eyes, like accusing fingers, like nauseating gasps. 

_Positive_. 

Pregnant. 

How could that be a positive? 

All she heard was that question racing through her mind. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think anymore, she shouldn't. This was too much. With just two pink stripes her whole world had turned upside down, and not for the better. No. She loved the way her life was. This was the last thing she wanted. The most unexpected thing. Queasiness was setting in. How could she have been this stupid… 

Those disastrous pink stripes. 

Hurriedly she grabbed the test and dumped it in the small trash can next to the sink. Just no. This was too much. 

She needed a fucking drink, but now she couldn't. Those two stripes were already affecting her life for the worse. [Y/N] walked backwards until she stumbled against the bathroom door, it shook her, and she turned around, hurrying to the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water. Water would have to do for now. _Ugh_. What was she going to do? 

After grabbing and swallowing down the bottle of water, she got cold. She needed her bed. She needed the warmth and comfort of her bed. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not get her mind to rest. It wasn't even like her thoughts changed at all, no… it was just that continuous scream that told her she was fucking pregnant. _Pregnant_. She was not ready to even think of children yet. She was much too focused on herself, her work life required all her attention. She was not happily together with a man. 

Steve. _Fuck_. 

[Y/N] would have to tell him. How was she supposed to tell Captain America she’s carrying his baby? The thought made her stomach turn, and she lifted her knees to embrace them. She didn't even have his phone number. Pregnant with a man whose number she didn't own. If he weren't America's most famous superhero, then she would've fallen into quite the stereotype. She probably did. Stereotype of another kind. What wouldn’t people think… of her?

Still uncertain how, but the sheer panic eventually ebbed away little by little and allowed more rational thinking. At least, [Y/N] imagined it was rational. As rational as she could be under these circumstances. If her tears allowed it. She had thought about this happening before. She never actually had a pregnancy scare, but going off birth control meant she could no longer pin down the start of her menstruation cycle like when she was on birth control pills. It made her think about the what-ifs. What if she ever got pregnant and didn't have her life in order yet… or the pieces of the puzzles didn’t fit together. What if something like what she's going through now would happen? She had considered all the options. Abortion was a good and smart choice, rationally she knew this, but the thought of a child growing in her belly… it… it made her hesitant. Then she could always carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption to people who really wanted one, but could she really do that? That seemed difficult, but wouldn't her third option be even harder? Giving up her dreams and desires, and making way to raise a child she did not want. Could she be that selfless? Should she? She wiped her nose with a tissue, and it was still sore. Probably red too. For someone who was as unattached as [Y/N] was… why did the prospect of a human being growing inside of her… make her so _attached_? 

The next couple of days were a daze. She went on autopilot, and did what she had to do. She showed up to work, managed the different accounts, spoke to the clients, found new artists. She told Sarah, who freaked out along with her. She wanted to tell Sam, but felt conflicted. He was Steve’s friend too. Sarah promised she wouldn’t say anything to her brother, and then [Y/N] took the next step. She made an appointment with her OB/GYN, and there the urine test immediately told her what she already knew. Now all she had to do was wait on the blood result to tell her a third time what she did not want to hear. It would come back in a couple of days. Those days meant nothing. She already knew. There was no running away from it. At least, it no longer felt like someone had taken a hold of heart and was crushing it. She did not feel much of anything, really. Her eyes were dry, her nose was still sore, her head was still full, but there was more room to breathe again. And she decided it was time to get in touch with Steve. 

A week had passed. He deserved to know. [Y/N] leaned on her kitchen counter with her elbow, and used her free hand to remove her phone from her jeans. Tell the man whose number she doesn’t even own that she’s pregnant with his baby. Yeah, that would go down wonderfully. She opened her messages, and began to text Sam. 

 

 

 

 

 

After Sam’s runaround, she let it be for more days. So she got his number. She was going to tell him, but not right now. She had no idea how she was supposed to bring it up. And Sam might’ve been playing, but he wasn’t wrong. It was weird to get Steve’s number from his friend and call him up out of the blue, but then this wasn’t an ordinary situation. And she just had to get over herself. Or find courage. 

Once she was finally able to muster up the latter, she picked up the phone and called him. It was an awkward conversation. Steve was confused about why she was calling him, and she… well, she had never been in this situation before. She asked to meet him. She asked if they could talk… somewhere private. He suggested a place in the City, and she emphasized one of their places would be better. 

Guess it was his place then. Or the Avengers’ place. Like she needed more reasons to feel nervous. Once she got through security, and her name was cleared on the guest list, she was told to go to the 33rd floor. She stepped out of the elevator and walked into a small hallway. There were two doors. She had no idea on which one to knock, so she went with left. After knocking on it several times and not getting a reply, she decided to try the other door. 

“Hey, [Y/N]. Come in.” Steve greeted her with a nod. 

His athletic build was emphasized in that tight white shirt of his when he stepped aside to let her in. “Thanks…” She murmured, and tried not to look at him.

“Would you like a drink?” He asked after he walked her into his living room. 

“Hm? Yeah, sure. Uh, soda or water. It doesn’t really matter.” [Y/N] looked around the room, then back to him. The design of the place was very open. All the outer-walls were made of windows, and even at this hour in the evening, the bright lights of the City found its way into his apartment. Though the design of the Tower itself and the furniture were very modern, his personal items didn’t seem to match with it. Not that he had a lot of those. Some copies of paintings on the walls. Classics. Mostly impressionistic. Degas. Cassatt. Cézanne. It was a strange combination. 

“But no bubbles, right?” Steve grinned. 

She turned his way, “Sorry?”

“Oh, it was… just, never mind. I’ll get you some water. Please sit.”

When she sat down on his leather sofa, she noticed the empty coffee cups, the books and pads spread across his coffee tables. As always, curiosity took over, so she leaned forward to get a closer look. There was a lot of doodling going on. Nothing impressionistic. 

“Here you go.”

“Thanks…”

“So, uhh, how are you?”

“Yeah, about that…”

A light started flashing on the coffee table, then a piercing sound followed. His phone was ringing, and she breathed out an exhalation of relief. He apologized and took the call, and she pondered over how she was going to break the news. Again. Like she had been doing the last two weeks.  

“So sorry. Uhh, where were we?” Steve sat down on his armchair, to her right. His robust frame was silhouetted against the bright lights that shone from the windows behind him. He looked so calm, so unaware, so untroubled. Well...

“I was telling you what I’m doing here.”

“Ah, ok. Right.”

“I’m not a weirdo. Wouldn’t just show up.” [Y/N] laughed nervously, then took a sip of her water. Her throat had suddenly gone dry. 

Steve nodded slowly, “Of course.” 

“It’s about our date. Well, what came after.” She looked at him again, and Steve nodded like he understood what she was talking about. “We were being safe, and my period comes very regularly normally, so it had to have been stress. Right?! That’s usually when it goes all wonky. And I’ve been under a lot of stress lately at work, so at first I thought it was just that… but I had to consider the other option too, and so I did… and, well, turns out... I’m pregnant.”

“Y-You’re pregnant?”

“Yes…”

“Oh…” 

“Yeah…”

Steve stood up, eyes widening, and realization of what she said probably dawning on him. “What?!”

“Yeah…” She could feel herself flushing in embarrassment. In shame. This was the last thing she wanted to be doing. 

“You’re certain?” Steve walked away from the coffee table towards the windows, towards the light, then turned around and looked at her. The way the shadows traced his face made it harder for her to read his emotions. 

“I kinda freaked out after I took the test, just a minor panic attack, so I immediately made an appointment with my doctor. She, uh, she confirmed it. I’m certain.” 

He started pacing, “Ok.” 

“Ok?”

“I don’t know what else to say right now,” Steve turned to her, then looked at his own glass of water.

“Freaking out?”

“Incredibly.” He reached for the glass and began to drink it, chugging it down within a few swallows, but it did not seem to calm him. Maybe he was simply buying time, trying to figure out how to properly respond. She wouldn’t blame him. She couldn’t. 

“This _feeling…_ it’s not going away,” Steve took a deep breath, his hand moving along with his inhalations, as he continued to pace back and forth. 

“Yeah, I’m still reeling from it too.” 

“How long… how long have you known?”

“About two weeks.” 

“Right…” 

“Yeah, so… more bad news for ya, you’re still going to be feeling this way two weeks from now.” 

Steve didn’t laugh. Truthfully, it wasn’t her best joke. 

“Have you… have you thought about what you want to do?”

“Do?” She shifted uncomfortably on his sofa. 

“About the pregnancy?” 

“I mean, yeah, of course.” 

“And?”

Here came the next hard part. She sighed, “I’m still struggling. I’m not ready for kids, Steve. This was not the way my life was supposed to go at all… I can’t wrap my head around it.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“But I don’t think I can have an abortion. I’m sorry, Steve.” She looked away from him, down at the water in front of her. She decided to have another sip. 

“Right… No, this is good.”

She glanced back up, the glass still in her hand. “ _Good_?”

“It’s your decision, of course, but… if I get to have a say in it…”

“You do.”

“Then I wouldn’t want to abort it… The baby.”

“Really?” She was expecting… She didn’t know. Maybe a huge discussion about abortion? Some struggling? Some denial? At least not his instant acceptance. 

“I have to take responsibility for my actions.” 

“Yeah, but a child… that’s a _huge_ responsibility.” She said. He had an out, she was giving him one. 

Steve stood still, his back turned away from her, his face towards the windows but downcast, his hands resting firmly on his waist. “I know. We screwed the pooch.” 

“Oh, we screwed, alright. And now we _are_ screwed. There’s just so many ways to go with that verb. All very applicable right now.” 

Steve didn’t respond. He remained silent and still, not facing her, and she watched him. Then something dawned on her. It was bad news. She finally understood what she had been questioning for so long. _It was bad news_. The dejected figures in Erwin Olaf’s 1950’s-60’s series stared at the windows... they had their backs turned away from the viewer. The series was a visual recording of the exact moment after someone received bad news. That was the tension she always noticed in the composition and the suffering she read in their forms. It was abundantly clear right now in Steve’s shoulders. 

“How… how did it happen though? We were safe. Like you said.” Steve turned his head towards her. 

“We were…” 

“I don’t understand.”

“When you took off the condom, you weren’t completely soft, right?”

“No…”

“So then there shouldn’t have been a way for you to leak inside of me.” She placed her glass back on his coffee table. “Unless of course there was a microscopic tear somewhere.” 

Steve turned around completely, confusion still clear on his face. “It should’ve leaked then. I checked for leaks.” 

“I don’t know. It’s the only plausible thing I can come up with.”

“And when would that have happ—”

“When I put it on, maybe.”

Steve parted his lips, “Oh...”

“I’m only guessing here. I’ve only been wrecking my brain over all of this for the last two weeks. It could be anything else. Maybe it’s your super soldier stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Semen.”

“ _Oh…_ , uhhh…” Steve rubbed the back of his head. 

“Yeah, I’m not even making sense. I know. This whole situation doesn’t.” She sighed, covering her head with her hands.

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles. We took part in adult acts, and there’s always consequences.” Steve moved her glass of water away and sat down on his coffee table, facing her. 

She slowly lowered her hands and glanced at him, “So I’m keeping it.”

“We’re keeping it.” 

“Ok. Ok. I’m just freaking out again.” 

Steve nodded, “Me too.” 

“A child.” She said out loud, trying to picture it. “That’s insane. We’re insane.” 

Steve remained silent. 

“Look at us! We’re not ready to be parents. I’m way too self-involved, and I like it like that. And you…” She looked at him, pointing rather accusingly. “You’re off fighting battles with inhumans, with Gods, with who knows what. You could die whenever.”

“My enemies haven’t been able to get rid off me just yet.” Steve steadied his voice, but [Y/N] lost her cool even more. 

“ _Enemies_. You’ve got enemies.” 

“I’ve also got allies. A lot of powerful allies.” 

“Yeah, but are you father material?” She raised her eyebrow. Not like she had much of a choice in all this. Neither did he. “No, offense, but I barely know you, Steve.” 

“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m father material, but I know that if there’s going to be a baby. If you’re going to have my child… that I need to be in their life. No matter what.” Steve rested his hands on top of her shaking ones. 

She looked down at them, “Ok...”

“Ok?”

“Ok,” She nodded.

“Ok...”

“So I’ve got your support?”

“Hundred percent.” 

“You’re going to be there if I need you for something related to the baby.” 

“I will.” 

“Ok. That, uh, reduces my anxiety indiscernibly.”

Steve let out a tense chuckle, “That little?” 

“Uhah, sorry. I’m just still in freak-out mode. Your help will, of course, make a huge difference. So how about those bubbles?”

“What?”

“I’m, you said earlier, when at the gallery… I was making an alcoholic joke.” 

“You can’t drink anymore,” Steve’s voice turned very severe.

She removed her hands from his, and pushed her hair away from her face. “No, I know. I can’t do a lot of things anymore. My life is over as I know it. The list is endless.” 

“How about… I won’t do whatever you’re not able to do?”

“Huh?”

“It’s only fair. So, no alcohol? What else?” 

Steve did not sleep that night, or the night that followed, or the one after that. Sleep didn’t come easily to him after he woke up from his icey 70-year-long slumber, but this situation took his insomnia to a whole other level. What in the world was he going to do about this? He could not be a father. He was no father. He was a tired and old man stuck in this body that gave him all the opportunities in the world. All opportunities he was not looking for. He should’ve never gone on that blind date. He should’ve never gone up with [Y/N] to her apartment. He should’ve never taken things so far, because now they had gone too far. He’d made his bed, and now he would have to lie in it. Damn it. Damn it. _Damn it_. 

Steve hit the gym that night. He hit the gym every night that followed, and every morning. Every damn moment he had between his work, so he would not have to think, so he _could_ think about what to do next. He went through the punching bags as fast as Natasha went through her small-scale explosives. He would have to request a new set of them. After a couple of days of being evasive, Natasha apparently was ready to show him how much quicker she could go through her explosives. On him. So they talked. No, he talked and she listened. It didn’t exactly go as he had expected, but she was right that he needed a confidante. He could not go through this alone. Not that he was really alone in it. He had [Y/N], but she was going out of her mind as it was… He could not burden her with his own meltdown. 

“Are you sure it’s even yours?” Natasha eyed him carefully. 

Steve really did not appreciate that question, but he knew Natasha was nothing if not thorough, so he let it slide. “She would not lie about that.”

“Steve, you don’t know the girl.”

“No, I know, but she’s Sam’s friend. She’s like Sam’s family. She wouldn’t lie about this. That would be crazy. Besides, I can’t exactly start off a joint parenthood by asking her if she’s a liar.”

“Alright, if you say so.”

Steve clenched his jaw, “I don’t know what to do…”

“Vodka. Lots of it.” Natasha got up, probably to walk to her liquor cabinet, but Steve called her back.

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t drink. I don’t want to.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow and sat next to him again, “Alright… then maybe you should read up on pregnancy and children? So you’ll have a better understanding of what you’re _actually_ in for, besides… knowing your life is going to change in nine months.” 

“You’re right. I’ll check out that site. What’s it called again?”

“Amazon.”

The books came in quickly, and Steve had read too many articles on the internet in the meantime, and when those books appeared on his doorstep, he was going through his nth panic attack. There was so much to know, so many changes that were going to happen, changes that were already happening to [Y/N]. He needed to check in with her, see how she was doing. If he had a hard time coping, she must be going through worse. That was when Sam came up. She brought him up. Steve had been avoiding Sam, like he had been avoiding pretty much everyone else. It was time for them to tell Sam. He had been trying to get in touch with [Y/N] too, she said. And she could no longer put it off, so Steve suggested they’d do it at his place. He was afraid of how Sam would respond. Steve knew [Y/N] was like his sister, and he got her pregnant. It was like a story spun by the Ancient Greeks. A tragicomedy. Minus the comedy, since nobody was laughing. 

“What’s going on? Haven’t seen your face around in a while.” Sam asked Steve as he entered his apartment. 

“I know. Things have been… hectic.” Steve looked at his phone. She wasn’t here yet. She was supposed to be here already. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. Want to grab some lunch? I’m starving. Just had a long workout.” Sam stretched his body. 

“I, uhh, think you better sit down for this one.”

“Hmm, ok.” Sam gave Steve a curious look and flopped into Steve’s sofa.

Steve glanced down his phone again, he knew he was being a bad friend right now, by not paying any attention to Sam, but… “[Y/N] should be here soon.”

“[Y/N]?” Sam quirked an eyebrow. “I’ve been wondering about that. What she call you for? Thought you weren’t interested in anything romantic.”

“I’m… not. This isn’t romance.”

“Ok, go on?”

“I can’t. I need to wait for [Y/N].”

“Look man, you’re being weird and I only pretend I’m patient. I’m not. What’s up?”

“Just… I’ll be right back.” Steve unlocked his phone and walked out of his living room to the hallway so Sam could not overhear. He waited for her to pick up her phone, and when she didn’t unease was setting back into his body. He could certainly not do this alone. He could not tell one of his closest friends he got their closest friend accidentally pregnant. He, just,.. How would he even start? Steve raked his hand through his hair and was about to walk back into the living room when he heard his doorbell. It was [Y/N]. Oh, thank God. 

“You’re late,” Steve said.

“I know. Traffic.”

“Ok, he’s waiting.” Steve nudged for [Y/N] to follow him to the living room. He heard her put away her bag and jacket, and he waited silently. She seemed tired. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her movements were slow. Hmm, guess he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t sleeping. 

“Hey Sam.” 

“[Y/N]…, is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Yeah…” [Y/N] sat down on his armchair and Steve stood behind her. She turned her head towards Steve, and he put his hands in his pockets and inclined his head briefly, telling her to go on. “So here’s the thing, remember that blind date?”

“Uhah…"

“So, uh, Steve and I had sex that night.” [Y/N] said and Steve cleared his throat. _Wow_ , she just came out with it like that. There was no running around the situation. He supposed she was right. 

Sam looked between them, “What? No, _no_ , my precious ears can’t hear shit like that.” 

“Get over it, Sam… cos, uh, you’re going to be an uncle.” [Y/N] said and Steve could feel himself getting hotter. This was it. This was the moment. He couldn’t look his friend in the eye.

“What?” Sam blinked, still not understanding. 

[Y/N] sighed heavily, “I’m pregnant.” 

“You’re WHAT?” Sam practically jumped out of the sofa, then sat down closer to them. Steve could see him thinking, trying to process. “What do you mean you’re pregnant?” 

“You know, when a spermatozoon reaches and fertilizes an ovum, reproduction—“

“Seriously, I had bio class. That’s not what I meant.” Sam opened his arms and the shock in his voice was not wearing off. This really was not the time for jokes, [Y/N] knew that, but it did make her feel slightly better. Trying not to further annoy Sam when all he was looking for was answers, she explained what they thought happened. Super soldier semen. The condom breaking. Bad luck. Any theory would do, the consequences were still the same. Hundred percent preggers. 

“I can’t believe this.”

“Yeah, think we caught that.” 

“What about you, Steve? You’ve been silent. I thought you’d know better. The both of you. The brother in me kinda has the feeling I need to whoop your ass for getting [Y/N] pregnant, but I know she’d just whoop mine in response. Consider yourself lucky.” 

“I’m also still shocked,” Steve finally uttered, his face was probably very red or pale. He wasn’t sure. 

“Yeah, I get that.” A moment of silence passed and they all looked away, avoiding eye-contact until Sam brought up some painful questions. “So you’re keeping it?” They nodded. “Then what’s next?”

“Keeping it, the baby, was an important decision on its own, Sam. We still need to figure the rest out.”

“You’re raising it together?”

“Yes,” Steve said immediately. 

“Good,” Sam nodded thoughtfully. “Where is the baby going to live?” 

“With the breastfeeding parent, of course.”

“The baby is going to live with you, [Y/N]? Your apartment is very small.” Sam shook his head. 

“I can make room. I’ll figure it out. Stop adding to my anxiety, please.”

Sam didn’t let up, “You two need to discuss things clearly.”

“We will, Sam. Of course, we will.” Steve said with a heavy voice.

“And we’ve still got plenty of time. Give us time to breathe. Besides, first things first.”

“Yeah?”

“The ultrasound.”


	4. The Ultrasound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to deal with the fact that a baby is coming? Steve and [Y/N] visit the doctor for an ultrasound… and their innate coping mechanisms kick in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a playlist. It's some songs I worked into the story (mostly chapter six) or listened to while writing. It doesn't always make sense, but it's been part of the world building or characterization. Here's [the link](https://playmoss.com/en/existentialmalaises/playlist/unexpectedly-expecting) if you're interested. Feel free to guess which song was used for what/who. ^^

Steve pushed the blue baseball cap he was wearing further down towards his face. There was a man across from him in the waiting room, who was staring at him suspiciously, and maybe now was not the best time to be recognized. There really was no way around Captain America visiting an OB/GYN. He sunk a little lower into his chair, and rummaged through the magazines on the table next to him. All women’s magazines with the strangest headlines. Never mind. Steve had had some time to adjust to the idea that his life was no longer going to be the same, but just because he had time, it did not mean he was actually adjusting.

Even now,  _definitely_  now, doubt filled his heart. Steve was still unsure whether he was ready for what was to come. Could he… really be the man he would have to become? He hadn’t thought about this anymore since he learned about Clint’s secret family life, and decided that it was not for him. And he let go of that outdated idea of himself. He changed to fit into this new world, to become what the world needed him to be, and that was something he could give to others. But change back, or change again?

Could he, really?

Steve inhaled deeply and peeked to the left. [Y/N] sat up straight in the chair next to him, and her eyes were fixated on her legs, or feet, or somewhere on the ground. She must’ve been worrying too. Like he was. She crossed and uncrossed her legs, the tight fabric of her skirt creasing each time. Her fingers played with the keys that she had placed on her lap, her bag situated next to her feet, and she let out a soft sigh. She must be fearful.  _Yeah_. Steve would have to be that man.

For her.

For their unborn child.

The sooner he was able to accept that, the easier it would be to adjust. He only hoped he was doing right by her, by supporting her decision, by wanting the baby. How could he not want his own child? Even if it was unplanned. Even if it had been unthinkable. Unasked for. He would still want this child. There was no other option. No matter how much it complicated his life. And her life.

This child would be wanted and cared for.

That counted for something to Steve.

Even if that meant risks. Dangerous risks. He was a public figure, the leader of the Avengers, and a combatant in the fight against those who sought to destroy the justice and liberty he and his country stood for. That meant enemies. And HYDRA hadn’t been completely taken care of either. There was that to consider too. A child, as Natasha had put it, would mean a weak spot. An easy target. She was right, of course. But Steve could not give up this life even if he had wanted to. People knew him. There was a museum about him. The man seated in front of him had already recognized him. He would always be recognized. There was no running from who he was.

Just like there was no running from this. His unborn child.

For a third time, as Steve and [Y/N] waited in silence, the door to the waiting room opened, but this time it was her OB/GYN and not some other doctor. With a relieved smile [Y/N] stood up and walked to doctor García. Steve immediately followed her lead, and walked closely behind her.

“Ms. [Y/L/N],” The doctor opened the door wide, so she could enter.

“Oh, uhh, doc, this is…the, uhh,… ”

Steve immediately pushed forward his hand, “Hello, I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Mr. Rogers. Please,” She shook his hand then waved him in too while [Y/N] was already heading towards doctor García’s office. It was only around the corner, and she could see that Steve was only a few steps away from her. Silently, awkwardly, they both entered the doctor’s office and waited for her to close the door and be pointed towards their seats.

“Mr. Rogers is the father then, I’m presuming.” The doctor said after she sat down behind her desk, and she momentarily typed something down in her computer.

“You presumed correctly,” [Y/N] put away her keys and fidgeted with the zipper of her bag.

“Mr. Rogers as in…”

Steve sat up straighter, “Yes, ma’am. I mean, doctor.”

Doctor García nodded, “How unexpected.”

“Yeah, welcome to the club of the confused and shocked.” [Y/N] said.

“Since you’re here, Mr. Rogers, I’d like to go through your family history to ascertain possible circumstances that might affect the pregnancy and the baby’s health.”

“Of course.”

“But first things first, [Y/N]. Last time we spoke you were very distressed. Are you feeling better?”

Steve turned his head towards her, and gave her a small smile. As if he was telling her to go on, trying to make her more comfortable. It was a bit strange to talk about her feelings in front of Steve, but it wasn’t anything they hadn’t discussed last time. And she was certain he still felt the same way, the same as hers. Scared shitless. Anxious. In over her head. At least she wasn’t alone. At least he was right here.

After the doctor determined she was not depressed, at least she hoped the doctor determined that, they moved on to general check-ups. Her weight. Her blood pressure. Her urine. Then came Steve’s medical history. What she thought would be a cakewalk turned out to be a nightmare. A really scary one. Apparently Steve had a lot of medical conditions before he became Captain America, and neither he nor the doctor were sure in what way it would affect the baby.

Scoliosis. Ulcers. Asthma. Anaemia. Arrhythmia. Astigmatism.  

All these damn A’s, and [Y/N] barely knew what any of it meant.

She should not have asked though. It made things worse. The doctor ran some extra tests, and [Y/N] tried her hardest not to throw up. She had not considered this when she decided to keep the baby, but now it just brought with it a whole new set of worries.

Scared shitless could not begin to define how she felt.

After that setback, [Y/N] had to lie down on a reclining patient chair, and she had her blood drawn with a portable kit. As soon as doctor García placed a band-aid on the inside of [Y/N]’s elbow, she called for Steve to join for the ultrasound. She reclined the seat, positioning [Y/N] in a horizontal stance, and grabbed her tools.

“Here we go.” After lifting her shirt, Doctor García squirted some gel on [Y/N]’s stomach, then moved the Doppler over it.

[Y/N] flinched, “God, that’s so cold.”

“I know. It will pass. Ok, so here we've got the yolk sac, can you see?” The doctor pointed at the screen. “And this is the fetal pole.” She continued on explaining the image on the screen to them. “Can you hear that?” The doctor concentrated, and [Y/N] waited. “The baby’s heartbeat sounds healthy and strong: 160 times per minute. That’s twice as fast as yours.”

Both [Y/N] and Steve stared at the monitor, the black screen was silhouetted by fragmented white lines on top and below. And in the middle… in the middle… it was…  “It looks like a tiny alien thing.” [Y/N] squinted her eyes, and tried to picture a baby.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Steve leaned towards the screen, and his hand rubbed against her arm. She glanced at the movement, but he seemed unaware of the touch; far more engrossed in the screen in front of him.

“As you can see here, the fingers and toes are starting to separate. And the baby also has lips, a nose, and eyelids now. Right here.” The doctor pointed at the screen, and [Y/N] turned her head back.

“Yeah, alien baby.”

Doctor García smiled, “Everything’s looking great, [Y/N]. Just as it should. We’ve got no reason to worry.” She moved the Doppler around some more over [Y/N]’s stomach, trying to see more of the embryo, and [Y/N] nodded to herself and tried to get used to the cold gel. And everything else.

Once the appointment was over and the doctor reassured them both again that the baby’s progress was going as it should, the two of them walked towards a quiet coffee shop in the area. [Y/N] plopped down on a plushy armchair away from other consumers. She sighed. She was starting to get a headache. This was not at all going as she expected. But what in the world had she expected? For things to be easy? It was a damn pregnancy. Easy was not part of the deal.

“Here’s your tea,” Steve handed her a cup and sat down across from her. She smiled in acceptance, and Steve looked at her rather seriously. “The other day, what Sam said… about us needing to discuss things.”

“Hm, what about it?” [Y/N] blew on her tea.

He put his own cup of whatever, it looked like tea, on the table between them. “I wanted to let you know that there’s always a place for the baby... at the Tower. I haven’t exactly told Tony yet, but there’s whole floors that are still available. I’m sure that once I discuss—“

“Thanks, Steve, but that’s fine. My apartment will do, tiny as it is.”

“No, I know. I, uhh, mean… the baby will always have a place with me too…”

“Oh,” She nodded. “Good. I’m glad.”

“And you too.”

“Sorry?” [Y/N] said before she took a big sip of her tea.

“Had this been back in my day, I would’ve gotten down on one knee and asked for your hand in—“

[Y/N] snorted, the burn of the tea going to her nose. “Hahahahahaha…. Yeah…  _No_.” She laughed nervously through the pain, trying not to choke on her warm drink. What was happening? “Let’s just focus on this era.”

“Of course…” Steve picked up his tea. “I’ve actually been thinking… Maybe we should get one of the many doctors that work in the Tower to monitor you and the baby. We don’t know if this will be a normal pregnancy, we know very little at this point, and a doctor with more experience with things beyond the scope of… normal, might be smart?”

“Sure, that’s smart.” [Y/N] agreed. “It’s just that… I’m used to my OB/GYN. I like her. She likes me. And she’s a she.”

“I’m sure there are female doctors at the Tower, but maybe we can ask her to keep collaborating then? I doubt she’ll want to give you up as a patient, anyways, now that she knows who... the father is.”

“Mhmm. Ok, sure. I can work with that. It’s probably necessary with your medical background.”

“I think so too. Just to be safe.”

“Ok,” [Y/N] sipped on her tea again, letting the silence fall between them. She thought it would have been comforting, but her thoughts were driving her crazy. “I still can’t believe a child is growing inside of me. It’s insane to even try to imagine.”

“It is. You don’t even look pregnant.”

“Not really. Not from what you can see, anyways.”

“Oh, there have been changes already?”

“Uhah.”

“Morning sickness?”

“Yes, lots of it. Not the best feeling in the world.”

“I read that fruits are good, especially when you’re not feeling well.”

“Yeah, what kinds of fruits?”

“Uhh, dark-colored ones.”

“Alright. I’ll give it a try. You been doing your reading, huh?”

Steve nodded.

“It’s incredibly overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I… kind of panicked as I went through the reading.”

[Y/N] laughed, entertained by the visual of Steve being surrounded by papers and books, and pacing around. At least she was not the only one.  

“Any other changes?”

“I’m just really tired. And I’m craving different foods. And my breasts…” [Y/N]’s voice died down once she noticed Steve’s eyes growing bigger. She shifted in the chair. Steve coughed, glancing down her body momentarily then back to her face, and reddening when she smiled. He remained silent and drank his tea. She didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, she didn’t think she would. “... they’re kinda tender.”

“Right. Right. Your body is preparing itself.”

“What your reading said?” [Y/N] smirked, and Steve nodded. “My mother said it’ll feel realer once I’m bigger. The pregnancy.”

“Your breasts?”

“No, my belly.”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

[Y/N] laughed softly, looking around the coffee shop. The soft-brown tones made this place warm and soothing, and the tempting aroma of fresh coffee was very calming. Even if she could not drink it. It helped. Was that a problematic thought? Was she addicted to coffee? Then this would be a really trying time.

“You told your parents?” Steve asked, and she turned her head back towards him.

“I did.”

“Oh… I thought, maybe… I’d be part of that conversation.”

[Y/N] stared at him quietly, not sure what to say. She had not considered that. Bring home the man you barely knew to meet the parents and introduce as the… you know. Surprise surprise. That would not have gone down well.

“Seems like the right thing to do. They should probably know the father of your… our child.” Steve said.

“Yup, still sounds weird.” [Y/N] finished her tea.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s ok. I understand.”

“We can plan in a ‘meet the parents’, if you like.”

Steve nodded, “Probably for the best.”

“Get all those talks out of the way.”

They sat on their armchairs, away from the crowd, for a good while, talking about what needed to be done in the following weeks, discussing what other changes [Y/N] had gone through, trying to figure out how to make sense of it all. It felt nice to be able to share her worries with him. She had told her other close friends too, and the reactions had been all over the place: from apprehensive concern to extreme excitement. There was something about Captain America being the father of her baby that launched all these radical views. At least with Steve, she could just be honest, and talk about how afraid she was rather than listen to all the unsolicited advice she was already receiving.

Once their drinks were finished, Steve had insisted on taking her home. He wanted to make a stop at the grocery shop before they did, since he remembered which fruits she should get to alleviate her morning sickness slightly. She told him it was fine. She told him she could simply take an Uber. She told him he could just make a list and text her. But he wouldn’t hear any of it. She would be home quicker on his motor. It wouldn’t cost her a dime. And he wanted to be able to contribute to the pregnancy. He wanted to be there for her. Not just to go to the doctor’s appointment. She nodded, a strange sensation building in the pit of her stomach as he countered her reasoning, and she conceded.

He offered. Why in the world would she say no? It was sweet, she thought with a smile when they got to her door and looked at the two full grocery bags Steve was carrying alongside her. “You seriously didn’t have to walk me all the way back home. I could’ve carried this myself.”

“Ah, we got a lot of things. I’m happy to help.”

“You coming back home with me ended up being quite the problem for us last time,” [Y/N] quirked her eyebrow, a silly grin appearing on her face. She had to be able to joke about this, because what else was she going to do at this point? She’d done her fair share of crying. She was done with it. Now it was time for acceptance and dealing. And laughing. Anything that would take her worries away.

Steve smiled, “Well, I’m sure I can’t get you pregnant again.”

“Uhah…” [Y/N] opened the door to her place, and they walked towards her open kitchen in the living room. She sure was willing to put that to the test. Ok, it wasn’t scientifically possible, but that was not the point. It had been two months, and now with all the changes she was going through and those awful mornings, something relaxing would be good for her. It’d be  _fun_. But fun was what got her here in the first place, so she she’d better not.

Steve put the heavy grocery bags on the counter while she turned on the lights in the kitchen and showed him where to place the different items. “Anyways, I also wanted to take a proper look around. Figure out how and where the baby is going to live.” Steve said, and [Y/N] leaned back against the counter with a sigh, but nodded her head. “You’re tired?” He asked.

“It’s just been a long day.”

“Well, why don’t you go rest, I’m sure I can manage putting away the groceries on my own. I’ll figure it out. We can talk when I’m done?”

“No, I really couldn’t let you do that.”

“Well, I’m not asking.” He gave her a look that told her he was not going to take no for an answer - again, and she did not feel like discussing this. If he really wanted to do it, he was more than welcome to. Screw politeness. He might as well make himself feel at home. As the father of her future baby, she imagined he’d be here plenty. Right? Guess they still had stuff they needed to talk about. Better go rest and not think about that for now. His advice was sound.

With a shrug she walked to her dining table, searched through her bag and took out her phone before she lay down with a heavy sigh on her couch, with a chaise lounge on the other side of the living room. It was her pride and joy, and it had been very difficult to get into her apartment, but it was worth the effort. She scooted around until she was comfortable on her back, then she unlocked her phone.

“Ehh, sorry, just one thing, should I put these in the bathroom?” Steve lifted a big pack with rolls of toilet paper.

“Hmm? No, there’s a storage room there. Yeah, that’s the one. See if it fits.” Steve followed her instructions, and soon came to realize that her storage  _closet_  was way too small to fit that big a pack. He turned around and looked at her questioningly. She grinned, and he shook his head. “Just leave it on the ground. I’ll fix it later.”

“Ok.”

“Thank you.”

Glancing back at the phone in her hands she checked her emails. She had missed the last couple of hours at work today, so she could attend her doctor’s appointment, and she wanted to make sure nothing of importance happened while she was away. A new exhibition was coming, and she had left her work in the somewhat capable hands of her assistant, but her assistant wasn’t her… so, double-checking was in order. She heard Steve rummaging through the kitchen cupboards and fridge, as she read through the notes in her e-mail. It seemed satisfactory. A triple-check would be necessary once she actually got to the office. There was only so much that could be done on the phone, and her laptop was too far away right now. [Y/N] set an extra alarm on her phone, so she’d wake up on time tomorrow morning to go for a jog. Some necessary stress relief, she thought while she briefly returned her vision to the kitchen and Steve, who had his back turned towards her. His broad and strong shoulders. His small waist. His tight  _anyways…_  Some necessary stress relief. She rolled her dry eyes, and opened her notes, writing out her to-do list for tomorrow, so she would not forget about anything. Lists were important. And as this list got longer and longer, her mind started drifting… her eyes growing heavier… until she finally gave in…

Steve had put away all the new fruits in [Y/N]’s fruit basket. First he removed the older fruits, then placed the new ones on the bottom only to return the older ones on top. It would be a shame to waste the old ones. The eggs, small containers of yoghurt, cheeses and milk he placed in the refrigerator. After a lot of searching, he found [Y/N]’s spot for storing beans, lentils, and sweet potatoes. At least, he assumed he found it. He refilled the big empty pot that said ‘oatmeal’ with, yes, oatmeal.

By the time he was done, the living room had darkened so Steve walked towards the dinner table behind the kitchen and couch to turn on an extra light. [Y/N] had stopped moving a while ago. Steve assumed she had fallen asleep. The lights were off on her side of the living room and the blinds were shut, so Steve could not make out her eyes. He took a few large steps from the dinner table to the couch and hovered above it, trying to read her face. Steve could only see the outline of her face, since her cheek was resting on the pillow of the couch, but her lips were parted, air flowing in and out of it very slowly. She looked at peace, the worry was no longer written all over her face, and it made him relax too. Only slightly. His vision lowered to her shoulders, to her breasts, towards her stomach. Her hand was resting on it. Steve still had a hard time wrapping his head around it.

There was a baby there.

Their baby.

Growing inside of her stomach.

It had lips and a nose already. Steve saw that on the monitor. And he was certain he counted ten almost toes and fingers. He’d better start wrapping his head around this. Two months had already passed, those other seven would fly by before they knew it.

[Y/N] sighed and raised her hand to her face, turning her body to the side on the couch. After some wiggling she drifted away again, and Steve carefully retreated back to the kitchen. What was he supposed to do now? He glanced at his watch. 18:16 PM. It was dinnertime. He was pretty hungry. Should he just leave then? He couldn’t just do that. Maybe…

Now that he’d seen [Y/N]’s kitchen from top to bottom, he knew she didn’t have any food prepared today. Maybe he should make something? That way there would be food after she woke up. What was easy and wouldn’t make a lot of noise? Steve silently walked back to the dinner table and removed his phone from his blue cotton jacket.

Waves of pungent air intensified, and soft rustling noises stirred [Y/N] out of her sleep. Her eyes still felt heavy, but the side of her neck was aching, and that sure prevented her from further sleep. And that strange scent. The ventilation grille was sucking it away, but it was there. The kitchen was being used? Oh, right, Steve was here. With a groan she raised herself a bit, slumping against the pillows and touching the sore muscle in her neck. She inhaled deeply as she tried to open her heavy lids, and her stomach turned. A nauseating odor of spices and the sea infiltrated her nostrils, and [Y/N] had to resist the urge to heave on the spot.

“Oh,  _God_. What’s that awful smell?”

“Uhh, it’s the salmon? I’m not great at cooking. All I’m used to is boiling potatoes.” Steve placed a spatula on a plate and faced her, eyes big and shoulders straight.

[Y/N] pinched her nose shut, “I do love a good mash.”

“But I followed the instructions, so it should be ok.”

“It’s not that. Just the scent of the fish is really putting me off.” [Y/N] stood up from her couch slowly, searching for the arm to push her forward, brushed her hair behind her ears, and opened the blinds and a couple of windows. “No offense. It’s the pregnancy, I think. I normally love salmon.”

“Ah, shit. I didn’t consider that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I’ve wasted your food, and good salmon is so expensive.”

“No, not at all.” [Y/N] breathed in the cold evening air that came from the City. That was better, smog and all. “You can take it with you. That way it won’t be wasted, yeah?”

“Ok, but what about you?”

“Hmm, think I’ll just order in. I overnapped. Must be late. Looks late.” She contemplated the dark and quiet street in front of her building.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Hmm, curry.”

“Indian?”

She nodded, “Doesn’t make me want to gag just yet.” He remained quiet, so she turned around to look at him properly. “You want some too, right?”

“What about the salmon?”

“You’ve got a fridge.”

“Ok...”

“Great, I’ll make the call, can you please store the food so I don’t have to deal with the scent?”

“I’m on it.” Steve turned around immediately, turned off the stove and searched for a container.

Airing out that godawful smell and waiting for the curries to arrive took excruciatingly long, and [Y/N] was starving after she woke up. It had been hours since she ate lunch, and some tea could not help her for long. Steve had offered her some fruit, but it took her a while before she could think of actually inserting anything into her mouth, because she still felt nauseous. Perhaps that long waiting time was good for something. Now she could properly eat without the gag reflex. Steve opened the food containers that were placed on her coffee table and served the food until she told him it was enough. With a pitcher of water in her hands, [Y/N] kneeled slowly and sat down next to Steve on the ground, between the couch and coffee table, and her thigh rubbed against his knee. He did not move away his leg, so she rested it there, leaning forward to place the pitcher on the table, and she looked at her plate, smiling.  

“Ohhhh, yeah.” [Y/N] took a bite and moaned. “This I can eat, alright. All of it. Oh, God, this curry is so good.”

“Uhh…” Steve took a slow bite of his dish. “That’s a lot of enthusiasm.”

“I’ve been starved, ok.”

Steve laughed.

“Besides, I’m eating for two.” She looked at her stomach, and Steve’s laughter died down.

“You are.”

[Y/N] sighed, “I am.”

“So do you ever use your dining table?”

“What?  _No_.” She gave him a funny look.

Steve chuckled, “So why is it taking up all that space?”

“For my bag. My jacket. For stuff.” Why was this not obvious to him?

“Maybe you could put baby  _stuff_  there then?”

She placed her arms on the cushion of the couch and lifted herself slightly, straightening her body, so she could examine the space behind the couch. The dinner table was on the left, her desk was on the right against the window. “Hmm, yeah. That’s actually a good idea. A crib is not going to fit in my bedroom.” She smiled at Steve.

He pushed his chin forward, dropping his head on the cushion, and gazed at her for a couple of seconds. “ _I_  barely fitted in your bedroom.”

“Think we managed alright,” She had to suppress her smile from growing bigger. Was he flirting with her? This seemed an awful lot like flirting. Her lashes fluttered down, and she noticed the way his lips parted at that.

“Hm, yeah.” Steve chuckled, looking pensive before turning to his food again, and [Y/N] slackened her body against the couch and slumped back down. “So a crib over there?”

“I guess.”

“But what about when you’re cooking? This is all an open space.”

“Right… Didn’t think about that.  _Fuck_.” She took another bite of her food. “Fuck, this is so good.”

The jazzy tunes coming from the speakers behind the couch softly resonated through [Y/N]’s small living room, creating a slow and relaxed ambiance while Steve and [Y/N] quieted down, still seated exactly the same, after they had finished their late supper. She rested her head slightly on the cushion of the couch, admiring his face, and a small smile warmed Steve’s face.

“You doing good?” He asked.

“Uhah,” She smiled back. “That was really satisfying.”

“It was.” He nodded, thoughtful for a moment before he continued. “Sam was right, you know. We need to figure these things out. The regulation. Where the baby sleeps, and so on.”

“I’ll figure it out. If necessary, I’ll get rid of my double, so I can put a crib in my bedroom.”

“You sure?”

“No, but I’ll get there. One life-altering decision at a time, please.”

“Alright, I don’t mean to push you.”

[Y/N] sighed, “You’re not. I just… I can’t do it all at once. Baby steps, ironically. Bear with me.”

“I completely understand. I just want to help.”

“Look, Steve. I think it’s great you’re concerned and that you want to help.”

“But?”

“There’s no but. I think it’s great. Thank you.”

“Of course,  _but_  I should get out of your hair. It’s late. You’re tired.”

She simpered, “Hmm, that’s considerate of you.”

“Don’t mention it. I overstayed my welcome.”

“You were never welcome in the first—” [Y/N] smirked. “Oh,  _no_ , don’t look so alarmed. I was joking. I swear I was joking. You didn’t overstay your welcome, Steve. You can come over whenever you want and clean up my stuff and cook dinner for me, ok? That’s not something I’ll ever complain about.” She nudged his shoulder, but he didn’t even move an inch. She stared at his shoulder for a second, considering doing that again but harder, then decided not to. “Guess I lucked out. No matter the circumstances of this pregnancy, I lucked out with a baby daddy like you.”

Steve tilted his head, “Baby daddy?”

“Yeah, still weird.”

“Still weird,” He nodded and got up. “What about the dishes?”

“I got it.”

“Uhh, good night then. Call me if you need anything. Please.”

“Ok. Don’t forget the salmon!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who in the world would say 'no' to Steve Rogers? Honestly.


	5. The Cravings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Y/N] is craving sugar, she’s craving curry, and most of all... she’s craving Steve.

Turning to the side, [Y/N] placed one hand on top of her belly and the other underneath it, and stared at the full-length mirror in Sam’s restroom. Three months had already come and gone, and fortunately so did her morning sickness. If there was one thing she was happy about, it was no longer throwing up every damn morning. It also meant her appetite had properly returned, and she really had to pace herself so she wouldn’t overeat, and become nauseous and bloated all over again. At least that was something she had in control. She stroked her belly gently. It was growing so quickly. She couldn’t believe there was a proper bump now. There was no more pretending she overate on those delicious  sugary donuts. Nope, this unmistakably was a baby bump.

She glanced up and noticed how perky her breasts looked in that low-cut shirt. Her bra was becoming too small. If she was being entirely realistic, the way her bra pushed her breasts up, it already was too small. She normally didn’t mind this look, not at all, but they were so damn sensitive now. So she would have to make an effort tomorrow and go bra shopping. They were clearly going to continue growing.

And those weren’t the only things that were growing. As her morning sickness went away, her sexual appetite skyrocketed. It had started as a dull ache in her groin, barely noticeable just tingling, that slowly started building and made her lips warmer and swollen until the ache spread down to her legs and up to her underbelly. Going for runs in the park every morning wasn’t taking her mind off of it either. It was then when she needed to do something about it, before it became unbearable. What was that all about? Well, she knew. When you’re constantly around a man like Steve Rogers, with a rock-hard body like Steve Rogers, with a huge cock like Steve Rogers, it, uh, it was hard not to let her body and mind do what came natural to them. And so she touched herself. Oh yeah, she’d been doing that a lot, but even that wasn’t enough anymore. She wanted more than the release she could give herself. She wanted him. She probably shouldn’t… but then that never stopped her before. Maybe she would _—_

“Yo, [Y/N]!” Sam scared her out of her thoughts. “What are you doing in there? Are you  _pooping_?”

“ _What_? NO! Go away.” [Y/N] shouted at the door. “I’ll be right out.”

“Hurry up. I gotta go.”

“Go upstairs.” She pulled her shirt over her stomach. It was also tight. She really had to do some shopping. Or wear her loose shirts. But those weren’t work appropriate. Shopping it was.

“Oh, man. You’re gonna make me walk.”

[Y/N] rolled her eyes, “Fine, I’m done. You can go.”

She opened the door, and there stood a grinning Sam. “No, that’s ok. I didn’t actually have to go. Was just checking up on you.” Of course.

“You jerk.” She pushed his shoulders, and he moved back, laughing before he placed an arm around her shoulder. “I can be in the bathroom for a while and still be ok, you know.”

“Maybe you were sad. Maybe you have hemorrhoids.” Sam raised his hand in the air. “I didn’t know.”

“Oh my God, Sam.” [Y/N] laughed, and Sam grinned. “Rest assured, I’m fine. You know I have to go pee every five minutes since…  _this_.”

“Yeah?”

“I was just looking at this big thing,” She placed a hand on her belly, and Sam nodded knowingly.

“But you’re ok?” They walked back to his kitchen where Steve was probably still seated patiently.

“Only if you stop checking up on me when I’m in the restroom.”

Sam let go of her shoulder, “Yeah, ok. It was a bit weird.”

“Truly,” She raised her eyebrows.

“But you’ve been weird,” Sam said in his defense.

“Well, having a baby grow in your stomach is all kinds of weird.”

“If that ain’t the truth,” Sam opened the door to his kitchen, and let her pass. “Come on, I ordered some Doubles.  _Yes_ , from Richmond Hill. Steve said you’ve been craving those.”

“Hmm, so bad. Thanks, Sam.” She walked around the kitchen table and looked at both men. “Thanks, Steve.”

Steve smiled and popped a grape in his mouth, and she tried not to stare. “Sure,” He said.

“Anyways, can we talk about something that’s not related to the baby? I feel like that’s the only thing I’ve been talking about these last couple of months.” [Y/N] sat down on a dining chair next to Steve.

Steve’s one arm was leaning on the table while his other rested on the head of his chair, opening his broad shoulders up towards her. She chose not to look down his body. Her mind was distracted enough.

Sam sat down across from her, “Hell yes, we can. How’s work?”

“Ok, let’s just skip past that one too.” [Y/N] said, and Steve chuckled then ate another grape.

A bit of juice dribbled down the tip of his finger, and Steve slowly inserted it into his mouth, pressing his lips together, and licked it clean. Her mind clouded with graphic visuals of another time when he had done that. A shudder racked through her body, making her own lips part and her teeth graze her bottom lip.

Sam laughed at her comment, “That bad?”

“Just.. I don’t feel like dealing right now,” [Y/N] glanced to Sam, trying to stop her body from doing what came naturally.

“Uhah, sounds healthy.”

[Y/N] pushed his arm away, “Hush, you. I don’t need a shrink.”

“You sure?”

“Sam, get lost. Bother Steve instead.” [Y/N] squinted her eyes, and Sam grinned, but moved on.

“Steve, how’s work?”

“Well, I have to see you everyday.”

“Oh, it’s gonna be like that, huh.” Sam nodded his head.

[Y/N] gave Steve a look of approval, which seemed to stop him from saying whatever he was going to say next. His blue eyes lingered on hers quietly, and she could feel the warmth building in her underbelly, so she turned back to Sam. “What about that concert you went to?”

“ _Alabama Shakes_? Amaaaazing.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, only one of the finest blues rock bands in the country.”

“I don’t think you’ve mentioned them before.”

“So much to like, and not enough time to share them all with you.”

Steve lowered his voice, “Maybe you should stop sharing the weird ones.”

“Marvin Gaye isn’t weird.”

“You know that’s not who I mean.”

“ _Anyways_ , it’s so entertaining.”

Steve quirked his brow, “For you.”

“Exactly,” Sam nodded with a grin.

“What’re you two talking about?”

“Nothing,” Steve said immediately, and Sam sniggered.

“Uhah, sure doesn’t sound like nothing to me.” [Y/N] looked at both the men.

“Nothing worth mentioning then,” Steve shook his head. “Just Sam being Sam.”

“That explains it.”

Sam opened his arms, looking rather unconvinced. “You say that like I’m not the highlight of your lives.”

“Ok then,” [Y/N] tilted her head, and returned his expression.  

“Denial is not a good look on you, honey.”

[Y/N] laughed, “Now I know you’re full of shit. Everything is a good look on me.” She took Steve’s grape and threw it Sam’s way.

But he caught it, then ate it with a big smile. “Nahuh, hear me out—” Sam began, but was cut off by the beeping sound of his phone. “Oh, shit. This is me.”

“What, who could be more important than your friends?” [Y/N] quirked her eyebrow.

“Remember that girl I told you about?”

“Uhah…”

“She more important.” Sam tilted his head to the side, gave them an exaggerated wink, and [Y/N] rolled her eyes. Sam smirked, walked out his kitchen, and answered the phone. She heard him put on his low voice, the voice he used when he was trying to smooth talk women, and she had to hold back a laugh herself. This fool.

“What girl?” Steve brushed his fingers gently over her underarm, and it immediately burned. Yup, definitely an increased sexual appetite. She turned her body his way, her knees pointing towards his legs, and she looked down at where it burned. Steve retracted his hand.  

“Sam met this girl a couple of weeks ago when he went out with a friend. They’ve been talking.”

“He’s into her?”

“He’s into something, alright. Will see where it leads.” [Y/N] took the next grape out of Steve’s hands and ate it, immediately regretting her decision. It was too fucking sour. She made a face, and Steve chuckled.

“I could’ve told you that.”

“Ugh…” She shivered, stood up and poured herself a glass of water. “Want some too?”

“Sure, thanks.”

[Y/N] walked behind Steve, stood so close next to him that she could smell his faint cologne. Notes of lavender and vanilla blending together with shaving soap. Fresh, but sweet. He caught her eyes, and she placed his glass on the table and sat down next to him again, her knees still pointing towards him. She really shouldn’t be this obvious. They were getting along. They were in a good place where things weren’t messy. Agreements were made. They both knew what to expect from each other. Letting him know she wanted to fuck him again would only complicate things. And things were already complicated enough… right?

“So you and Sam don’t normally talk about your love lives?” [Y/N] changed the topic in her mind.

“Sam and Nat tend to talk about mine. I prefer not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

[Y/N] grinned, “Oh, I see. You don’t like to meddle.”

“I try not to,” Steve took a gulp of his water.

“This Nat… She a good friend of yours?” He talked about her a lot. She was curious.

“Yeah, we’ve been working together for a couple of years now.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ve got people in your corner. Must be tough in your business.”

“I got Sam too.”

“You sure do,” [Y/N] smiled.

“And Sam’s got you. You’re a great friend. I see what he values in you.”

“Aw, that’s so nice of you, Steve. Thanks!”

Steve shifted in his seat, “Say, I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“Yeah?” [Y/N] rested the side of her head on the palm of her hand, on the one that was leaning on the table, and she eyed him tentatively.

“Since you also want to talk about things not related to the baby… There’s this exhibition next weekend.”

“Oh, which one?”

“About Eva Gonzalès, she was a—”

“French impressionist. Pupil of Manet. I know.” [Y/N] smiled.

Steve chuckled, “Yes, exactly. I’d, uhh, I’d like to go. Would you like to join me?”

“Uhah, sounds like fun.” Her eyes fluttered down to his legs. They were still open and turned towards her, and she thought back to when she was straddling them… so tense and warm underneath her. “You gonna do the whole shebang?”

“Shebang?”

“Uhah, since you’re taking me out, I expect a proper date, you know. Better than you did last time.”

Steve blushed, “Never going to let me forget, no?”

She shook her head, smiling contentedly, “Nope.”

“I’ll do better.”

“Oughta give you some credit though.”

“Oh?” Steve placed another grape in his mouth, and her eyes wandered down to it. Again.

“You managed to knock me up after all. Meant you were doing something right.” [Y/N] laughed as she said it, trying to stay focused.

Steve chuckled, “I can’t believe we’re laughing about this.”

“I’m really glad we can. Don’t know what else I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Hmm. So a date?”

“Think you can handle it?” [Y/N] leaned a bit closer to him, and she knew that gave him a better view of her plump breasts, since her bra was getting too tight. Shopping tomorrow. Why was she teasing him? Was her mind craving him that much? Why was she even asking that. She knew it was.

Clearly, it was.

“I can,” He kept his eyes strictly on her face.  _Hmm_. This would require… well, certainly not finesse. “Oh, and what about if after the exhibition we go back to my place?”

 _What_? That was forward of him. “And then?”

“I’d like to tell Tony about what’s going on. Might be smart to do that already now that we’re past that important time marker you said we should wait for. So I can talk to Tony about, uhh, a place for the baby.”

Ahh, not so forward. “Right, ok… then. Guess I’ll finally meet Mr. Stark himself.”

Their date the following weekend went well. The painter was much closer to Steve’s comfort zone, and so he had a lot more to say about the paintings. At this point, the two had gotten to know each other better too, having had to spend so much time together establishing ground rules and slowly learning what would work for the other, so she was sure he felt much more comfortable around her… and maybe, he was growing more comfortable about the whole baby situation. She hoped he was, because his support made a world of difference to her.

After dinner and a delicious chocolatey dessert, Steve and [Y/N] went to the Tower for their chat with the famous Tony Stark. She had been very curious about him. He made a lot of scandalous appearances on television and gave a lot of outrageous interviews. It would be interesting to see what he was like away from all the cameras and microphones. As they walked into the communal living area, they noticed Sam was hanging out by the billiard table. It looked like he was playing a game… by himself.

“Sam?! What are you doing here?” Steve asked when he saw Sam.

Sam stood up straight, holding the cue stick in one hand. “[Y/N] filled me in on tonight.” He gave her a quick hug, then turned to Steve again. “Thought I’d join for some moral support.”

“That wasn’t necessary,” Steve said quickly.

“I know, but I’m here anyways.”

“And Rhodey is here too?” Steve signaled to a man who was walking towards them. She’d seen him on the news. Wasn’t he the Iron Patriot? An awful name. Why did they have these names, anyways? It wasn’t as if their armor, their suits, actually hid their identity since they were out in the open.

“Just in case,” Sam shrugged, and Steve shook his head, sighing.

“Steve,” The man turned to [Y/N]. “Hello, I’m James. How’s it going?” James introduced himself, then picked up the other cue stick and looked at the billiard table, waiting for Sam to make his move.

“This should be fun?” [Y/N] quirked an eyebrow at Steve, who simply nodded silently, and Sam scoffed at her.

The four of them hung around the billiard table, making smalltalk, and rooting for Sam to win. She didn’t know James. She owed him no loyalty. The pregnancy, the baby, all of it didn’t come up until Tony finally made an appearance in the room, as was requested by Steve through F.R.I.D.A.Y. - the computer system thing Tony Stark had created according to Steve. She turned around when she heard Tony Stark walk up the stairs, talking loudly to himself.

“What’s going on? Why is there an unknown pregnant woman here? F.R.I.D.A.Y., I thought Pepper canceled the  _Every Mother Counts_ charity?”

The voice of the computer system thing appeared in the communal area, and everyone stopped their movements. “That’s Ms. [Y/N] [Y/L/N], a regular visitor of Mr. Rogers.”

“I think I’ll have that scotch.”

“There was no previous conversation about scotch.”

“That’s not what I heard. Bring it. Hello,” Tony turned to the group. “What’s going on? It’s a Saturday night, why are we all just standing around? Is Wonder Boy preaching the merits of abstinence once again? Something tells me I’m being ironic. Tony Stark. Who are you?” He asked [Y/N], looking down to her stomach, then to Steve. “Who is she? ”

“I’m the proof Steve does not practice what he preaches.” She smiled, a bit dazed by how fast Tony was talking.

“Hmm, ok.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows. “I like her.”

“I’m [Y/N],” She lifted her hand, and he looked down at it, not making an attempt to shake it. 

“So this is real?” Tony looked back to Steve who nodded. “Steve now sincerely is the poster boy for the lack of sex education in America? Weren’t you in those videos? Hate to break it to you. I know I sometimes get on that level, but this isn’t high school.”

“Look, Tony…” Steve finally uttered.

“So I was watching this movie the other day called  _Obvious Child_. Anyone seen it too?” Tony looked around. “Pepper made me watch it. It was on Netflix, about this woman who got pregnant after a one-night-stand and she abor—”

“Damn, man, would you ease up?” Sam said, putting his cue stick away.

“Am I the only one who got out of bed today with, aside from a minor hangover, their heads screwed on straight? Steve here got a girl pregnant, and they’re keeping it?”

Sam sighed at Tony, “Yeah, we all heard.”

“Her name is [Y/N],” Steve said sternly, and she looked at him. He glanced back at her and faintly shook his head, telling her not to worry… Or maybe something else, but then he wasn’t conveying that properly with just a nod.

Tony raised his arm, “Captain Fantastic, turns out… not so fantastic. And sure as hell not father material.”

“Hey, Tony, go easy.” James intervened, and Steve’s jaw tensed up. Well, this was awkward. And entirely unexpected. Her own parents had not been this indelicate about it. The people she expected to freak out the most. Not Tony Stark. Were these men—this particular man—always so dramatic?

“Easy?” Tony laughed. “I’m the least of his problems. Did you even think about the dangers of our world? Bringing a child into that. That’s irresponsible.”  _Wow_...

Steve tried to explain, “I did. I know. I—”

“And I know, I’m one to talk, I might even have little Starks running around that I don’t know about. Uhh, F.R.I.D.A.Y., I need you to discreetly verify whether—”

“A lost cause, boss.”

“What I thought,” Tony put his hands on his waist.

“I don’t mean to step on any toes here, but Tony’s right that our world is not exactly an environment to raise a kid in.” James said quietly.

Tony followed up, “I know you’re all about accountability, but I’m not sure this is—”

“Are you done hearing yourself talk now?” An agitated Steve asked.

“Never quite done, no. I’m still waiting on that scotch, actually.” Tony looked up at the air, probably towards the invisible robot-thing.

“What happened between [Y/N] and me, the consequences…”

“The baby growing in her belly,” Tony looked down at it again, and she placed a hand on top of it.

“It was unplanned, but it’s happening.”

Tony was already raising his hand, like he was ready to retort, but James placed an arm on his shoulder. “Tony, let it go.”

“Well, this is turning out to be a great evening,” [Y/N] raised her eyebrows, and Sam nodded knowingly.

“Sorry, darling. Nothing against you but—” Tony got cut off when a robotic machine rolled up into the communal living area. “DUM-E, what are you doing here? You know not to leave the workshop. Get back.” Tony said to the robot, and it hung its head slightly.  

F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke, “Your scotch, boss.”

“I got it.” Sam reached for the glass, but DUM-E moved away from him. Sam tried again, and DUM-E moved the tray with the glass lower, far far away from Sam. “Or… not?” Sam looked to Tony.

“Good DUM-E,” Tony took the glass from the robot, and it rolled away from the communal living area.

“How about we go? I’ll talk to Tony another time when—”

“He isn’t being such a jackass?” [Y/N] glanced at Tony, who quirked his eyebrow and got stopped from speaking by James once again.

“Pretty much,” Steve guided [Y/N] to his apartment.

But she could still hear Tony say, “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” It rubbed Steve the wrong way. It rubbed  _her_  the wrong way. What a dick.

The elevator took them down several levels, and then Steve walked her into his apartment, offered her a drink in his kitchen, but she refused, then he walked towards his living room.

“I liked Tony way more when I didn’t know him myself.” [Y/N] dropped her bag on Steve’s kitchen table and followed him to the living room.

Steve rolled his shoulders back, he had probably gotten all worked up. Maybe she ought to do something about it. “That’s how most people feel.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t go how you hoped it would,” She came to a standstill in front of him.

“Hmm?” Steve glanced at the close proximity. “No need to apologize. I didn’t expect him to respond well. It could’ve gone worse.”

“Worse? Really?”

“Let’s... not talk about him. Did you have a good time? Did I do better with the date this time?” Steve took a step back, about to go to the couch, but she reached for his underarm and he looked back at her, not moving away.

“Oh, are you looking for validation, Steve?” She tilted her head, and took a step closer.

He chuckled, “I might be. You put me down for our first date…”

“You deserved it,” She bit on her lip, trying to stop the mischief from coming out.

“I did. I do. But I wouldn’t mind getting some praise, if you think I’m…  _deserving_.” Steve stared at her lips, and she took another step forward, closing the distance between them. “Uhh, what are you doing?”

Her voice lowered and her pulse was raising, “What’s it look like?”

“This is just going to make things messy,” Steve gulped when her fingers grazed over his abdomen. She could feel his muscles tensing up, and her eyes were starting to become heavier. “You immediately opposed my marriage idea, remember. We better not—”

“Just because I don’t want to marry a guy I’ve only known for a couple of months, doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel his big cock inside of me.” [Y/N] wrapped her arms around his neck, and pushed her body—her breasts and belly—against his. His hands instantly moved to her hips in response. “At this point, I think I really need to, Steve. My body is driving me crazy. Won’t you help me relax? With your cock?”

His pink lips parted and he sounded sore, “ _[Y/N]_...”

“I need it so bad…” She raised her heels, her body rubbing against his, and his long fingers dug in her skin, then slid underneath the hem of her shirt to feel more of her when they swiftly pressed their lips together.

The soft pecks turned into long open-mouthed kisses, and soon enough their velvet tongues twirled around one another. He was starting to consume her, hints of mint and chocolate on his lips and now on hers, kissing her deeply until the only thing her body was craving was to be filled by him. She could feel it. There was that nagging sensation at her entrance, and God… she needed it so bad.

“You like that kind of praise?” She broke the kiss, and stared from his reddening lips to his eyes. His darkened and needy eyes. Steve nodded, and sucked on her bottom lip before he continued kissing her, slightly harder. She wasn’t the only one anymore. His engorging cock against her hipbone spoke volumes. “Take me to bed, Steve.”

The second she uttered those words, Steve lowered his hands from her hips to her ass and lifted her up around his waist, and he walked her through his study to his bedroom. All the while never breaking the kisses. Though there were some stops against the door and wall where he explored her jawline and neck when she was gasping for air. Once he finally reached his bed, he set her down on it and she immediately unzipped his jeans, so she could put her mouth on him.

“ _Ahhhhhh_ ,” He groaned, tensing his legs so he wouldn't thrust forward when she coaxed him in.

Her supple lips tightened around the tip of his cock, and she bobbed her head back and forth, coating his cock with her saliva and allowing him in deeper with each bob. She tasted the precome on her tongue, then twirled it all around him and sucked. Steve uttered soft sounds of appreciation; his hand languidly brushed over her hair until he lowered it to her neck, and rested it there. With one hand she pumped him tightly while the other fondled his balls.

Without meaning to, Steve began to thrust along with her rhythm, his groans growing deeper, then he had to get a hold of himself. “Thought you wanted to relax?” Steve muttered and secured his fingers in her hair, and restricted her movement.

She smirked and released him, “You don't think that was helping  _me_?”

He remained silent, and a shaky breath fell from his lips when she removed her top, revealing her breasts.

Steve let go of her hair, “They have grown a lot.”

“You'll have to be gentle.”

“Ok.” He removed his own shirt and stepped out of the rest of his clothing, then knelt down, wetting his lips and dragging them tantalizingly slow over her skin. “That alright?”

She threw her head back, “Uhah…”

He unclasped her bra, and gazed at her breasts silently.

“You still there?”

“I am.” He placed a soft kiss on her nipple. “They’ve become darker.”

“ _Ehh_ , you were really paying attention the last time.”

“You put on quite the show for me. It’s hard to forget.” He turned to her other nipple and twirled his warm tongue around it.

Her nipples tautened instantly and she leaned into his touch, “ _Ohhh_.”

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, the opposite.”

Steve let go of her nipple and both his hands held on to her breasts, softly lifting and massaging them in a circular motion.

“You a fan?”

“I am either way,” Steve glanced at her with a smile, then moved towards one nipple, pursed his lips and blew cold air over it before enveloping it inside his warm mouth.

“Good,” She sighed, and rested her hand in the nape of his neck. “Hmmm.”

Her heart was thudding loudly when Steve twirled his tongue lazily around her erect bud, playing with her, while his hands continued to massage her breasts. Then he switched, and softly began to suck on her nipples, slowly increasing the pressure. He was working her up quickly like this, she could already feel herself dripping. Steve slowly lowered his head down her body, to her sides, her belly button, and one hand went to her jeans to remove them. She pushed herself up from his bed, and he pulled her jeans and panties down her legs.

“Lean back,” Steve ordered, his eyes roamed over her nude figure, and she eagerly complied, leaning back on her elbows and watching as he crawled on top of her after he spread her legs open with one hand. A shiver ran down her spine when she caught the flutter of his lashes. “I didn’t get to do this last time.” Steve lowered his head to her hipbone and placed a kiss there.

“Did you want to?” She asked, and Steve nodded his head, placing wet pecks on her inner thighs. His big hands held her legs, rubbing the warmth of his palms all over them, until the warmth of his lips found her folds. “Hmm, well, you  _did_  have a taste last time.”

“Tasted like more,” Steve dug his pointed tongue between her folds down to her entrance, then flattened it and licked all the way up to her clit. Her head fell back in pleasure, and she sucked in her breath in a quiet moan.

He repeated the action, and her moan no longer was quiet, “ _Ahhhmmm_.” Her fingers disappeared in his hair, and she positioned his plump lips right on top of her clit. “Taste me then.” Steve opened his mouth, rotating his tongue over her nub, listening to her softly-spoken directions until all he heard was her moans and cries for more, and more, and more.

She was already so damn worked up, and this was just what she needed. When he entered his fingers inside of her, curling them, twisting them, she flushed from her chest all the way to her cheeks, the burn of desire no longer being limited to her groin, but building all over her body. His warmth, his lips, his fingers, and soon his cock. She clasped the sheets between her fingers, and focused on the beginnings of her orgasms. She knew it was just around the corner. She could almost taste it.

The strong and steady strokes of his flattened tongue made her breathless and increased the tension in her groin, getting her closer to that sweet spot by the minute. Just around the fucking corner.

Steve began to suck on her clit, quickly intensifying that burn, and she was lost. The waves were coasting up her body. Her muscles clenched around his finger, sucking him in deeper, and she felt a throbbing heat gushing between her legs, intensifying her pained pleasure and making her come undone on his face. Lingering moans were accompanied by feverish puffs of air until her throat was burning and her chest was heaving. That was too fucking intense.

“Ahhh, fuck.  _Steve_.”

“Hmm?” Steve continued licking her even after she had come down.

“Taste good?”

“ _Hmmm_. Like I’ll never get enough of you,” Steve’s words reverberated against her needy skin, and she pushed his face down, trying to hold on to how he made her feel seconds ago, and before she knew it, unexpected as it was, she experienced the aftershock of her orgasm. It was a short-lived release of heated tingles on her clit that had her crying out again, and rubbing her groin against Steve.

After her lungs didn’t hurt anymore, she pulled his bruised lips down on her mouth and kissed him thoroughly. His face was slick with her, and she had to slow down. He had made her dizzy with lust, before even touching her, and now she was ravenous.

“Are you finally going to give me what I need?"

“Oh, I didn’t just do that? Twice?” Steve smiled, lifted himself on his arms, and brushed his lips over her mouth

“I requested your cock.  _That_  was all for you.”

“How generous.” Steve grabbed a pillow and nudged her hips. She raised them, and he placed the pillow underneath her ass. “But I want to hear you say it properly."

She smirked, “Using my words against me?"

“Well, you taught me how to.”

“I need that. Thick. Throbbing. Cock...” She grabbed it. It was throbbing alright. “...inside of me right now.”

She pulled him towards her entrance, which had been aching to be filled for so long now, but he put his hand on her wrist and stopped her.

“Ok," Steve said and took a hold of himself, rubbing himself up and down between her folds, and when he came up over her oversensitive clit, she whimpered each time. When all he felt was her moisture around his tip, he pushed his cock down where it got some resistance from her entrance. Her mouth opened in a silent ‘oh’, and he kissed her, his tongue trying to find hers immediately. He started pushing himself in, inch by inch, letting her heat engulf all around him until he was buried deep inside of her.

“Ahh, yeah, Steve.” She sighed, and pushed her heels against his ass, pressing him in further, if that was even possible.

He let out a satisfied moan, not moving yet, just enjoying her warmth and how tight she felt around him, before he dragged himself out of her completely and sunk all the way in. Unhurried, measured, amorous.

“Oh my God,” Her hands found his shoulder blades. “ _Ohhhh_ , Steve, yeah.” Her nails dug into his skin while he kept thrusting inside of her. “Hmmm, don’t stop.  _God_ , don’t stop.” She writhed and trembled underneath him.

Steve groaned, “Oh, sweetheart, if you keep talking to me like that I’m not going to last very long.”

“No, no, I’ll stop.”

“I don’t want you to,” His voice was so hoarse.

“Tough shit, Steve.”

He chuckled, and rolled inside of her. She gasped, “Ohhh,  _fuuuck_. That feels so good.”

“Ahh,  _you_  feel so good. So unbelievably wet and warm.”

“I’ve been so wet for you, Steve, for so long.”

“Shit, [Y/N], you have?” He raked his nails through her hair and held on to her face, bringing his mouth to her lips, and pushing his tongue inside, eagerly trying to find hers, needing to feel her warmth everywhere he could. He filled her up so good. His kiss was so soft and passionate at the same time, and he picked up the pace, slipping in and out of her slightly faster and making her pant harder against his lips.

The way he rolled his hips, Steve buried her to the hilt and was hitting spots she didn’t even know she had. Her pelvis met his with every thrust, their bodies smacking smoothly against each other, and sweat dripped down his back. She felt it, and dug her nails deeper into his shoulder blades, showing her appreciation for how good he was making her feel, and Steve’s head found the crook of her neck. His hot breath warming her up so good.

“I’m going to come.  _Ohh_ , I’m so close.”

“Me too. Don’t stop.” She whimpered.

His unhurried movements slowly sped up until Steve’s finger gripped the edge of her shoulders and she kissed his neck. Faint hints of lavender and his sweat penetrated her nostrils. He was reaching his climax, and she tightened her hold on his cock, making the sensation stronger for the both of them. So slick and sweet. Then her body did the contracting for her, losing herself again, and she cried out underneath him. Steve immediately grunted at her physical response, and after several more quickening thrusts Steve uttered a deep and rough groan that lessened against her ear. Through his quivers, she felt his muscles tighten and his back arch for a couple of seconds until he sunk down with his weight on top of her.

Panic immediately went through her body when she felt his weight, “My belly!” Her voice was more alarmed than she thought it would be. Guess she cared way more than she previously believed.  

“Sorry.” Steve tensed his muscles again, leaning on his arms rather than on her. “I’m sorry. My mind stopped work _—_ ”

“No, I get it.” [Y/N] ran her fingers through his hair down to the nape of his moistened neck, trying to calm him down. Trying to calm herself down too.

As soon as Steve caught his breath on top of her, there was no more panting against her ear, an unfortunate side-effect, because it was an erotic sound that she would never get enough of. He lay down on his side and wrapped his arms around her, not wanting to stop touching her just yet. She leaned into his squeeze, enjoying the warmth and affection he gave her, until she decided it was really time to clean herself up before she stained the bed sheets further, but this time with his semen. She wriggled in his arms, and Steve immediately protested.

“Where are you going?” Steve’s voice was deep. He sounded slumberous, and she glanced to his face. He did, in fact, seem somewhat sleepy. He was satiated, she surmised with a smile, just like her.

She moved his arm down her body, loosening his grip. “The toilet. I should get going, anyways.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Don’t want to overstay my welcome,” She said with a wink.

Steve pulled her closer into his embrace and pressed their lips together, “You’re very welcome right here.” Her smile widened in the kiss, and it made Steve search for her tongue, momentarily, very languidly, trying to taste her again, before he let her go. “But the toilet is probably a good idea.”

“Ok, then. Be right back.”

“Hmm. You can put your clothing in the laundry basket if you want. It’s in the bathroom.” Steve said groggily and lied flat on his back in the middle of his bed. 

“Maybe just my panties then.”

With a soft sigh Steve reached for his blanket and pulled it over his legs up to his hips. His eyes roamed over her naked form while she, with some effort, dragged herself out of Steve’s bed, found her underwear and his shirt—it was looser than hers, but only slightly—underneath their pile of clothing, put it on and moved to the other side of his bedroom.

The light in his bathroom turned on automatically after she walked in and tried to find the light switch. Maybe there wasn’t one. As she went about her business, [Y/N] stretched her muscles a bit, enjoying the peacefulness she was experiencing after everything that had transpired. A lot of perspiration. His sheets must be soaking wet. She sure had been. And now, well now she was aching down below in a different way. A good way. She threw her underwear in his laundry basket and returned to his bedroom, wondering whether Steve had been right… and this would only make the situation more complicated.  

“Hmm, I’m so calm again.” [Y/N] said once she lay down on his bed with a satisfied grin, and her hair draped over the pillow like a halo. Steve gazed at her quietly, his hand instantly moving to the hem of his shirt, settling on the soft fuzz of her venus mound. “You really do know how to make a girl feel good, Steve.”

“I’m glad…”

She turned to her side, curiosity taking over her. “Do you fuck all girls like that?” 

“I wasn’t exactly doing  _that_ … fucking you.”

“Then what?”

“I was… being kind.”

“Is there a side to this when you’re not kind?”

Steve chuckled, “Can be.”

“ _Huh_ , interesting.” She traced her finger down his chest to his six-pack, smiling thoughtfully, while Steve brushed her hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss her softly but deeply.

“Do you want me to… not be kind?” He asked, lingering near her lips.

“No, I like that you are. It’s refreshing.” [Y/N] pecked, then sucked on his bottom lip. “Most men want it rough and fast. I like that it’s sweet and slow with you.”

Steve’s hand brushed over her shoulder, down her arm. “Rough and fast is for other occasions.”

“Like?”

“When you’re rushing… or you specifically ask for it. Otherwise I like taking my time.” His fingers went underneath the fabric of his shirt and tickled her side, then came to a rest by her belly.

She looked down at it, “Make it count?”

“Exactly,” Steve said with a smile and pressed their lips together once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first time writing Tony!! What did you guys think of him? _And everything else_? ^^


	6. The Gender Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely [Y/N] and Steve wrap their heads around the fact that they’re having a baby. And that the baby needs a name!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying a picture thing but it's coming out way bigger on my screen. Hope it isn't on yours... if so... whoops, sorry!

“Could I have some Gala- _uhh_ -galaktobu…reko?, please?” Steve said as he looked from his phone to the old man behind the counter. He was certain he mispronounced the much too long word.

The man tilted his head, “Galaktoboureko. Some? What is some? How many?”

“Uhh, make it three.”

“Want  _some_  dzelly too? My wife make good ones.” The man said as he gathered the requested pastries.

“Ok, sure.”

“I give you three different ones. All small. Small prices too. Ok?”   
“Ok, thank you.” Steve bought the creamy custard, and now some jellies too, from Artopolis because [Y/N] had asked him to bring some along with him to her apartment. She had been   longing for them, and he happened to pass by the bakery, anyways. Steve never tried Greek pastries before, so he was curious.

Steve also didn’t think he was going to be father in this new lifetime of his, so it seemed as if he was all about trying new things  _—_  some more willingly than others. He had come around to the idea, though, more or less. He simply had to. There was no other choice. He had said that to everyone else, and he had said it to himself to.

That meant there were things they had to get in order, like the nursery. He was going to bring up the baby crib again. He had done a lot of research on the Internet, and a crib was really important. There were so many kinds. And yet [Y/N] had avoided the talk each time he tried to bring it up. He understood why. It was overwhelming, but she was almost five months pregnant now and she still hadn’t decided. Only so many more months left before their child would actually be here. It  _was_  overwhelming, Steve exhaled heavily and continued walking the streets of Astoria.

At least Tony was finally on board. After his lousy first reaction, they were able to talk about it… sort of. Steve thought back to how he had visited Tony in his workshop a couple of days after he had embarrassed both Steve and [Y/N] at the Tower.

Steve knew it would be hard to make Tony see it from his point of view, but what else was new? They tended to disagree a lot. After his morning workout, Steve stepped into the workshop where Tony and Pepper were hunched over one of his suits. Pepper turned around and immediately gave him a big smile.

“Steve, congratulations. I hope someone’s said that already,” Pepper looked at Tony, who returned his vision back to the suit he was repairing.

“Thank you, Pepper.”

She rubbed his arm and Steve nodded, “Ok, I’ll be downstairs.  _Tony_ , behave.”

“I always behave,” Tony retorted.

Pepper added dryly, already anticipating his snark, “Like a reasonable adult.”

“You ask for too much,” Tony lowered his voice, and Pepper closed the transparent door to his workshop with a smile, then walked away. Steve stepped closer to the suit, thinking of how he should start the conversation on a positive note when Tony spoke up again. “I shouldn’t have said you’d be a terrible father to your child. Apparently I was projecting.”

“I-I don’t recall you saying  _that_  specifically.”

“Oh, I knew there were things that I had still left unsaid.”

“I shouldn’t have come up.” Steve sighed.

“No, wait.” He put a fancy-looking screwdriver on the tray next to the suit. “I’m sorry. About the other day.”

Steve looked quietly at the suit, still trying to think of something to say, trying to find a way to move forward. This was not an ordinary situation. “What’s wrong with the suit?”

“Ah, just the repulsors. Need some updating. I’ll have it fixed in a couple of hours. Child’s play.” Tony busied himself with the knuckles on his suit, and Steve looked on in silence. “Speaking of children…”

Steve quirked his eyebrow and cut Tony off dryly, “I don’t think you’re sorry.”

“Not about what I said. We live in a dangerous world. You know this all too well. I stand by it, but I  _am_  sorry about how I said it.”

“Ok.” It would have to do.

“Where are you going to raise it?”

“I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“ _Here_?” Tony let go of his suit’s hand and looked exasperatedly at Steve.

Steve folded his arms. “That way I can raise and protect the child.”

“And play the hero too.” Tony stood up from his lab stool.

“Like I told you that day at Clint’s house, I didn’t think I was the guy for the simple life anymore, but I have to make it work.”

“There are other options.”

“Abortion is not an option for me. For us.”

Tony sat back down and looked at the suit, murmuring, “Fine, then.”

“You’re fine with it?” Steve didn’t mean to sound so mistrustful.

“That’s what I said.” But Tony didn’t look at him.

“Didn’t sound like it.”

“You need to get your ears checked for audible range. Can you pass me the ratchet driver in ¼?”

“Thanks, Tony.” Steve passed the tool.

Tony sighed. “Don’t thank me yet. And about what I said… that was wrong. You’ll make a great father.”

 

***

 

After opening a couple of windows to let some fresh air into her living room, [Y/N] put a dirty glass in the sink and looked around the room. What to do in the meantime? What to do? Her eyes glanced over the plants that she should not forget to water later this week _—_ she made a mental note _—_ and tidying up the mess on her dinner table was probably a good idea too. But that would have to wait until later, because she noticed her iPad on the couch and walked towards it.  [Y/N] unlocked the device and searched through her playlists on Spotify, specifically the one she made after she found out she got pregnant _—_ the girl needed music to fit any given mood… and pregnant sure as hell was a mood too _—_ and connected the device to her loudspeakers.  She sat down on the couch, turned up the volume, and let the music cloud her mind. After listening to a lot of slow and sad songs, she really needed a change of pace. This was obviously not helping. She had grown tired of moody songs, so she [Y/N] flipped through her playlist until she noticed Major Lazer’s “Believer”.

She stood up, clicked on the song and placed her iPad back on the couch. As the amplifying electronic sounds filled the air in her living room through the loudspeakers, her body began to sway from left to right, her arms falling to her sides, her fingers lingering on her hips while the music took hold of her. It felt like floating, and the pulsating tunes began to carry her. If [Y/N] was able to do something in her life, independent as she had always been, it was turning a negative into a positive. And this song would get her there. It would. Its upbeat and vibrant rhythm was enough to elevate her spirit, to spark thoughts of hope in that worried mind of hers, for at least four minutes.

And when the beat dropped, her arms thrust up in the air and the music pumped through her veins, relinquishing her of anything that mattered in the world. There were no nuisances, there was no turmoil, there was only the momentary oasis of serenity. All that she was before, was subsumed under the thudding reverberation of electronic percussions, and it did make her a believer… that this pregnancy was another thing in her life that she would overcome.

Once the song ended, [Y/N] was reached for her iPad to play another song on her playlist that could make her feel the same way, but then she noticed the series of notifications appearing on her phone.

 

 

 

Three missed calls and a text from Steve.  _Shit_. Had she lost track of time? He was waiting outside of her apartment in the cold. She immediately lowered the volume of the music that was still coursing through her loudspeakers and called him to make sure he was still around.

“I’m so sorry about that. Were you waiting for a long time?” [Y/N] said after she opened her apartment door and let him enter.

“Not really.” Steve walked through her hallway to her living room. “Was that your room where the music was coming from so loudly?” He pointed to the speakers. The music was still on pretty loudly.

She turned the volume down some more. “You heard that outside, huh?”

“Yes, no wonder you didn’t hear the doorbell… or your ringtone… or your other notifications.” Steve smiled through his lashes at her, and she wondered what he was thinking.

Instead of asking, [Y/N] laughed hesitantly. “Yeah, I got carried away. Just making sure I keep moving. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure, whatever you have.” Steve took off his jacket and placed it on one of the dinner table chairs. He was well adjusted to her way of living. Good man.

“I have this disgusting smoothie that I’ve to drink to make sure I get all my important vitamins?” [Y/N] removed a glass from her cupboard.

“That… sounds delicious.”

She grinned. “Or there’s water.”

“Uhh, that works too.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“I brought the pastries you wanted.” Steve showed a brown bag and walked towards [Y/N].

“Oh, from Artopolis?” She glanced in his direction and realized he stood still only inches away from her. It looked like he was considering something. She wondered what it was. His eyes fluttered down to her lips for a second, and she had an inkling. They’d been hooking up occasionally… after the last time. Whenever she was horny _—_ which, to be fair, was pretty often _—_ he was there to give a hand… and his cock. He said he was going to be helpful throughout the pregnancy, and the man stayed true to his word. Things hadn’t complicated, surprisingly, but Steve did seem a bit awkward around her when they weren’t fucking, like he was adapting to the social conventions that went along with being fuck buddies with your future baby mama. He lacked that on-and-off switch she had, which meant he was a bit unsure… until she made her intentions crystal clear. Then he took charge. And he did that so well, [Y/N] thought with a smile. She clicked her tongue, trying to make her distracting thoughts disappear from her mind. See, this was why she needed music. Though music could make  _those thoughts_  worse. She looked back at him and he nodded slowly to her question. “You’re a saint.”

“And you’re easy to please.”

“I have my moments. Here you go.” She handed him the glass of water, and he nodded his head again, more to himself it seemed. She ignored it, grabbed two dessert plates and forks and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch, then closed the windows in the living room and sat down on her couch. No longer needing an invitation, he took a seat next to her and turned his body her way. She pulled up her legs, her knees now touching his thigh and her feet tucked away underneath her ass. While Steve put the pastries on the plates and explained why he had three kinds of jelly with him, the music that was playing softly in the background switched to Hamilton’s ‘Dear Theodosia _’_  and Steve stopped talking.

“Oh, I know this. It’s from that musical everyone loves.”

“That’s right. Do you love it too?”

“Uhh, I haven’t seen it yet, but Tony plays it non-stop in his workshop… and sometimes he decides to broadcast his music on every level of the Tower.”

[Y/N] took a bite of her custard cake. “That’s an interesting choice of music.”

“Well, I’m glad when it’s nothing too loud.” _—_ Steve grinned _—_ “Anyways, are you playing the music for the baby? I read somewhere that unborn babies can enjoy daily sounds of music.”

“Oh… right. Totally not what I was doing.”

Steve chuckled and rested his head on his arm. “Sometimes they even respond to the music. Want to give it a try?”

“Sure, why not. We’ve got some time to kill before we need to head to the doctor, anyways. I appreciate you coming all the way down to Queens to pick me up.”

“That’s my pleasure.” Steve’s lips lifted upward and he gave her a smile with his eyes, his long lashes fluttering up to her face. It made his one dimple crinkle, and she felt her chest warming up.

“Good… so what song?”

“Uhh, oh, that’s tough.” Steve looked down at her belly as he thought. “How about a song I grew up with?”

“Uhah, sure.” [Y/N] handed Steve her iPad, and after some tapping and scrolling he put on a slow song. It sounded very old. That was undeniable. “So who is this?” She asked as she turned up the volume so the baby would hear too.

“Leo Reisman and his Orchestra. It’s called ‘You Do Something To Me’. A really nice fox-trot.”

“Huh… ok.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Well, it’s not about me liking it, right? It’s about the baby.”

“No, that’s true.”

But the baby didn’t seem to like it. At least… it wasn’t responding to the song, so it was [Y/N]’s turn to try one. She put on J. Balvin and Willy William’s ‘Mi Gente’, wondering if her child would really be  _her people_. Clearly it wasn’t. No kicking. And Steve asked what type of dancing people did to this song, and [Y/N] pointed out that it definitely wasn’t a fox-trot.

Then after more contemplating Steve put on a song she did know. Old, but familiar. It was ‘Do You Love Me?’ by The Contours. She wondered if it was Sam who introduced this song to Steve, since it wasn’t one from his youth.

“No, actually, it was Nat. She made me sit through this movie called  _Dirty Dancing_.”

[Y/N] bursted out in laughter. “Yeah? Did you like it?”

“Not my kind of movie, but a great soundtrack. I decided to learn more about music from the 1960s after seeing it. A great era for music.”

“Alright…”

“No kicking?”

She shook her head. “No kicking.” This was becoming a bit of a letdown.

“Hmm…”

“Ok, how about I’ll do a blast from the past too?” She took the iPad from Steve’s hands and typed away. “Nina Simone’s ‘Ain’t Got No, I Got Life’, I really love that song.” The song came on, piano tones introduced Nina’s deep voice, and the two listened quietly.

After a moment, Steve spoke up. “Yes, I know this. Her. Nina Simone. Sam made he listen to her.”

“Do you like her songs?”

“I do. This one is especially great. Great lyrics.” Steve tapped his fingers along to the piano.

“I got life. So simple, and yet so powerful. It really _—_ ” [Y/N] almost jumped out of her skin, then she dissolved into smiles. “Oh my God, Steve. It kicked.”

“What? Really?” Steve’s eyes went wide in surprise, and he stared from her face to her belly, his body turning towards her completely.

“The baby. It’s kicking.  _Here_.” She reached for his hand, and placed it on the side of her stomach. “Can you feel it?”

“Ohhh… I can. I am. Gosh, I  _am_.” He still looked astonished, but he was smiling now. “That’s… that’s my baby.”

“Our baby.” [Y/N]’s smile grew bigger. Why was this making her so weirdly happy? She was still scared shitless thirty minutes ago. Did music help her  _that_  much?

“Yes, ours… he’s got a strong kick.”

“Or she.”

“ _Or_   _she_.” Steve laughed suddenly, glanced at her lips and leaned down to kiss her, catching her by surprise by briskly capturing her mouth. She instantly felt his warmth, and it made her open her lips wider in response. When he came down from… whatever the hell that was, he lingered by her face and grazed his nose against hers. “This is crazy.”

“Insane,” she whispered.

He looked her in her eyes. “But… kind of amazing?”

“Scary amazing.”

Steve nodded and pressed their lips together once more, slower this time but still in a similar consuming fashion, like he wanted more. She could taste his hunger… from the way he caressed her, the way he pushed his tongue inside of her mouth, the way his fingers dug into her skin… It was making her needier, but this really wasn’t the time.  

“Steve…” She spoke softly after she moved her face away from his mouth, looking at his untouched glass of water on her coffee table. His hot and heavy breath fanned her neck, but then she heard him clear his throat and he leaned back.

“[Y/N]? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, not at all… It’s just that we should be leaving soon, and I can’t arrive all hot and bothered at my OB/GYN. That’s kind of awkward.”

“Oh, right. I didn’t realize I affected you  _that_  quickly.” Steve smirked, an uncharacteristic display of his confidence, and she could feel herself burning up.

“It’s me, not you, ok? I’m pregnant and horny. You’re just here.”

Steve laughed in astonishment. “That doesn’t hurt my feelings at all.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

“Thought I couldn’t?”

“One more kiss can’t hurt… much”

Steve was about to say something, she could tell from the way another smile formed on his lips, so she pulled him in, creasing his shirt around her fingers, for another kiss. Their lips brushed together, slowly, but demandingly and fervently. And his tongue slipped inside of her instantly, somehow soothing and igniting the burn that was spreading within her, while his hand slid down her figure to grasp her hip and pull her closer to him. One more kiss could hurt…

“Ok, really. You need to stop kissing me, Steve.” [Y/N] lingered near his mouth.

Steve’s teeth grazed over his bottom lip and his eyes fluttered open slowly, gazing from her lips to her eyes. “You’re a confusing woman.”

She smiled and pecked him on the lips, and Steve softly groaned.

“A lot of mixed messages,” Steve mumbled to himself while he scooted away from her, as if he needed some physical distance, and [Y/N] smirked.

“Ok, something else then.” She leaned away from him too. Nothing wrong with a bit of physical distance. It was a wise decision. “Hmm, baby names? We haven’t discussed that yet… and since we’re finding out the baby’s gender in _—_ ”

Steve glanced down at his watch. “T minus one hour. We should leave soon.”

“No, I know, but let’s do this first.”

“Alright, it’s a good idea to have some names ready.”

“Exactly.”

“So how about we each pick three names for a girl and a boy?”

“Alright.”  
“I’ll start! Uhhh…, I like Noah.” [Y/N] pretended to think for a moment, like she hadn’t thought of this way more often than she let on.

“Ok…”

“Isaac… and Nathan!”

“Nathan’s nice,” Steve tilted his head.

“Ok, so one’s got your approval.”

“Well, I didn’t say that.”

“Huh, what would you like then?”

Steve looked away, a pensive mood taking hold of him, his eyes squinting together as the names came out one by one. “Thomas… James… Robert.”

“All these traditional names,” [Y/N] clicked her tongue.

“ _Strong_  names. Besides, you picked Noah. That’s traditional.”

“Fine, but Robert is a no-go. Sounds like an old fart. I do like Thomas and James.”

“So we got Thomas, James, and Nathan?” Steve repeated, and [Y/N] nodded in agreement.

“Ok, this is fairly easy.”

“We still need to pick one.”

“Or two.”

Steve chuckled. “What about if it’s a girl?”

“Hmm…” _—_ [Y/N] pretended to think once more _—_ “I like Elena… Lily… and Amelia.”

“Those are good. I was going to say Ellen, but I like Elena better. Sounds a bit different? I like Sarah. My mother was named Sarah.”

“And so is Sam’s sister. My closest friend. I’m sure she’d love that.”

Steve smiled.

“Don’t have a third one?” [Y/N] asked.

“No, I like either Elena or Sarah.”

“Ok, so we got Elena or Sarah, and Nathan, James.. and??”

“Thomas. So it could be Thomas Rogers or, uhhh, Elena Rogers. Has a ring to it, right?”

“Wait, wait, wait. Why is the baby getting your last name?”

“Oh, uhh, that’s how it usually goes, isn’t it?”

[Y/N] quirked her eyebrow and eyed him steadily, trying to read his emotions. “But what if I want the baby to have my last name?”

“Oh…” Steve scratched the back of his head.

“Flip a coin?” [Y/N] grinned.

“You want… to flip a coin? Over something so important?”

“Ehhh, no, just wanted to see your reaction. Important, huh?”

Steve nodded his head gravely. “I think so.”

“Then I’m fine with it.”

“It?”

“The baby having your last name.” She rested her head on the back of the couch, and looked up at him.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I want you to have that.”

Steve glanced at her belly, his hand reaching towards it but not touching, and he smiled. “Thank you. I guess all of this means more to me than I could’ve imagined.”

“I understand that…” She held on to his hand, gave it a soft squeeze, then placed it on her belly, and his smile grew. He gazed at her quietly, and she smiled back… that earlier warm glow returning to her body, and she bit her bottom lip to stop from feeling… too much. Steve caught the movement and leaned closer, eyeing her reactions, and she sucked in her breath, tightening her hold on his hand, when their lips connected and they caressed them together slowly.

Warmth was spreading in her chest, and she could feel the flutter of her heart. This wasn’t stopping her from feeling. Not at all. She let go of his hand and pushed against his firm chest. “No, damn it, Steve! Stop being all sweet and kissing me.”

“Right, mixed messages. Sorry.”

[Y/N] stood up and turned off the music, “We should go to the doctor. You came by car?” Steve nodded, and she looked around her apartment. “Ok, let me just get my things… then we can leave. Uhh, want to have dinner after… and then, you know?”

“I’m sure the chef will have cooked up something.”

“Something I can eat?”

Steve removed his phone from his jacket and dialed the number. “I’m calling her right now.”

After packing her overnight bag, [Y/N] and Steve drove to the Tower where several doctors had been monitoring [Y/N]’s pregnancy carefully. There were many checkups, more than happened with a regular pregnancy since her situation wasn’t exactly normal, but for this one her regular OB/GYN would make an appearance. She was excited… and then there was the whole gender reveal thing, of course. [Y/N] was excited about that too.

“Can you lower your pants for me, please?” Doctor Garcia asked her after [Y/N] lay down on the reclining chair. “Great, thank you. And have you been drinking enough water? Hmm, the daily amount I recommended?”

“Yes, doc. Also been peeing ‘round the clock.”

Doctor Garcia smiled. “Good, great. Then I’m sure we’ll get some clear pictures of your baby today.”

After squirting some cold gel on [Y/N]’s stomach, _—_ a fun experience every time _—_ the doctor quickly went through her steps to make sure both the mother and baby were still healthy. She also explained and showed how the baby had grown. Apparently it was about the size of a carrot now… and it was going to do a hell of a lot more kicking and punching.

The doctor moved the Doppler down her stomach. “Oh, look right here, your baby is sucking on its thumb.”

“Awww… ok.” [Y/N] chewed on her bottom lip.

“The placenta is looking good too. Everything checks out. Looks like we’ve got nothing to be worried about. Are you both ready for the gender reveal?”

“We are.” [Y/N] turned her face towards Steve and he nodded gravely, still staring at the image of their baby on the screen.  

“You’re having a…”

 


	7. The Baby Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Board games, baby classes, and a shower. There’s only so much time left, before the baby arrives... and [Y/N] is still avoiding certain issues.

“It feels a lot realer now, right? Now that we know the baby’s gender,” [Y/N] said after she lay down on her bed and made herself comfortable. The pleasant part of her pregnancy was over based on her swollen ankles and her heavy belly. Standing up all day at work was pretty tiring and made her backache worse, so this was a good solution.

Steve removed his shoes and sat down next to her. “It does.”

“I mean, I’m still scared… and I still don’t think I’m fit to be a parent, but it’s somehow less daunting now? Right now, anyways. I might feel different tomorrow.”

Steve chuckled.

“And at least we can think about some fun things too… not just all the practical and life-altering ones,” [Y/N] continued.

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“Like what kind of color should we paint the nursery?” She looked around her bedroom, then scoffed. “What nursery?” There was no damn place for a baby here. Not even if she got a single bed. This was her bachelorette pad. Her solitary retreat. Not a home with a nursery. So maybe she should talk to Steve about it at some point instead of avoiding it, but she still had some time… and she wasn’t ready yet. He had to be mindful of that.

“The one I’ve been bringing up repeatedly, you know, at the Tower.”

“Oh,  _right_. That one.”

Steve sighed. “Something neutral?”

“I’m thinking gender neutral.”

“Yes, I like the sound of that.”

[Y/N] grabbed all her pillows and placed them against the headboard then lounged against it. “Maybe green? Maybe purple? Maybe a soft gray?”

“Green is great. A happy color.”

Her whole face lit up. “See?  _This_  I can do.”

“You can do it all, [Y/N]. You’ll make a great mother.”

“Oh, yeah? What makes you say that?”

“You’re a very caring person. The way you treat the people you love. You’re there for them. I see where you come from, your childhood home, the values you got from your parents… It makes me certain.”

“Aw, thanks, Steve.” She flattened the palm of her hand, gesturing him to her, and Steve entwined his fingers with hers. “You tend to know what to say, huh.”

“Sometimes I don’t.” Steve shook his head.

“But then you know to shut up,” [Y/N] teased.

“So what you’re really saying is I’ll make a great parent too?”

[Y/N] laughed. “No doubt about it.”

After his chuckles died down, Steve quietly fixed his gaze on her face. She shifted on the bed, trying to sit up straighter, her hand gliding over her belly as she did. He was going to bring it up again, she could feel it… so she changed the topic before he could.

“Thanks for spending some time with me. I’m too tired to go out with friends, knowing I have a baby class in a couple of hours, but I’m sure there were more interesting things you could be doing on a Saturday.”

“You really don’t have to thank me for that. I’m glad to be spending time with you.”

“Uhah, sitting on a bed with the pregnant woman is so exciting.”

“I’ve got enough excitement in my life. I like this. Just talking. Taking a load off.” 

“You sure?”

“I’m positive.”

[Y/N] shrugged. “If you want to make this extra exciting, I’m sure I’ve got board games lying around somewhere.”

“Oh, I love board games,” Steve said with a smile.

“You’re… serious?”

Steve’s expression dulled. “You weren’t?”

“I mean, I  _do_  have board games somewhere…”

“Perfect, what do you want to play?”

“Uhh, I don’t know… Not sure you can play the ones I have with just two players. Maybe Scrabble? It’s in the cabinet underneath my desk. Want to take B&J’s out of the freezer in the meantime?”

“Ok, hold on. Scrabble and ice-cream. Ok…” Steve walked out of her bedroom, and after some noises of doors opening and closing, he returned with the game in his hands. He removed the board from the box and placed it on the bed… a bit of an uneven surface, but it would have to do.

[Y/N] did enjoy playing Scrabble every now and then, because it showed a person’s range and creativity when it came to language. She also found it fascinating to see which words someone would go for. Plus, it could be very challenging at times.

Steve seemed to be taking the game very seriously, taking long intervals to consider his next step. Even when playing games he was calculating his moves, so he could win. It was entertaining, and it made [Y/N] want to kick his ass even more.  

“Man, if there was another ‘x’… oh, wait a minute. Talk about luck.” [Y/N] removed a tile marked with an ‘x’ from the bag and placed more tiles on the board. “Xerox.”

“ _Ohhhh_ … no…”

“Oh, yes, getting so close to beating you.” [Y/N] smirked and Steve concentrated on the board.  

And [Y/N]’s luck _—_ or smarts _—_ continued, because it didn’t take much longer after that for her to win the first round of Scrabble. She threw her hands in the hair and cheered for herself, the tiles sliding off the board, and Steve shook his head with a smile.

“Two out of three?” He said.

“That’s not how this game works, Steve.”

Steve was about to say something, but got distracted by the alarm clock on [Y/N]’s bedside table. “Oh, shoot. The ice cream must’ve melted by now.”

He made to move away from her bed, but she held on his arm. “ _Shoot_?” She looked at him incredulously and Steve just shrugged as he was reminded of his language. “We can get it in a second… that way you can lick it off my body.” Steve inclined his head in agreement at that, and sat back down. “They’ve got a point, you know.”

“What now?”

“Your friends. Tony. That you’re not vulgar. But it’s not a bad thing.”

“No,  _I_  know it’s not a bad thing. Seems like others forget it.”

“Uhah…”

“Besides, I could be vulgar. I have the vocabulary.”

“Oh, please. You rarely swear.”

“I don’t care to.”

“And you’re the sweetest dirty talker I’ve ever been with. Can’t even call it dirty talk with you. It’s sweet talk.” She tapped his shoulder patronizingly, and he took hold of her hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

“I, uhh, I can…” _—_ Steve looked at her pensively _—_ “... eat your pussy from dark til’ the morning.” The words came out as a familiar melody. They were lyrics from a song.

[Y/N] bursted out in laughter, and when she saw Steve grinning back, she had another fit. That sounded absolutely wrong coming out of his mouth. “Sam been introducing you to new music again?”

“Didn’t know what was going on the first time I heard it.”

“I bet. I’m sure Sam had a field day.”

“Something like that,” Steve said begrudgingly, but a smile was still visible on his face, and he moved closer, nudging her. “But hey, now I do know.”

“Know what?”

“How many licks it takes.”

[Y/N] laughed again, and Steve tickled her sides, making her writhe underneath her touch until tears started building in her eyes, and she had to beg him to stop.

 

***

 

“Are the mommies and daddies comfortable?”

“Oh my God, I’m going to barf if she keeps up like this,” [Y/N] muttered mostly to herself as the childbirth instructor went around the white workshop filled with soon-to-be parents to instruct them on the basics of child birthing.

The instructor had her back turned towards them and continued walking the circle, “Have all the daddies settled behind the mommies? Are you holding on to her? Are you making sure she and the baby are feeling your tender and loving energy? Feed the baby your energy. The daddies job will be to provide mental support to the mommies. Go on.”

“Would you turn me in if I murder her?” [Y/N] looked back at Steve, who was trying to position himself behind her with his legs wrapped around hers and his arms hugging her body so his hands could caress her belly and  _feed the baby his energy_.

“Excuse me?” Steve stopped listening to the instructor and glanced at [Y/N].

“I’m thinking with a dagger. I can’t remember her name, but I want it to be up close and personal.”

“Shh, it’s Rachel, and I think she can hear you.”

“Don’t shush me.” Her eyes sparked with indignation.

“Well, you’re talking about how you want to kill someone in cold blood.”

“And I’d call it pretty justified. I’d plead self-defense. I think it’d make a strong case, ok. She’s  _terrible_.”

Steve chuckled. “You shouldn’t talk like that.”

“It’s helping me relax, though. Isn’t that the point of this whole exercise? Relaxing,” [Y/N] grumbled, and Steve slowly rubbed his warm, flat hands over the sides of her belly. Ok, maybe that was helping too.

“So you’re just going to plan out everybody’s murder in the labor room? That’s your strategy to relaxing for the birth?”

“Keep it up and you’re going on my murder list too.” [Y/N] glanced back at him again, and Steve chuckled, making the corners of his eyes crinkle with amusement. She simpered, pleased with the response she got from him.

“And how’s it going over here,” The instructor asked with her annoyingly-soothing voice. She had circled back to them much to [Y/N]’s dismay.

“Great. Absolutely great.”  Steve plastered a big smile on his face, shutting [Y/N] up.

The instructor bent her knees and turned to [Y/N]. “Does this mommy think that too?”

“Mommy absolutely thinks that. Right,  _daddy_?” [Y/N] said in a singsongy voice.

Steve looked heavenward. “ _Right_ …”

“Good, be mindful of where there is tension in your body. Looks like you’ve got a lot of it. So with each exhale, focus on relaxing a different part of your body.” The instructor advised then carried on with the circle.

“I can’t believe we’ve got four more classes with her. I want someone else or I might actually murder her.”

“Shhhh.” Steve shushed her again.

“What’s that?” The instructor turned around, and eyed them questioningly.  

Steve’s mouth fell open, unsure of how to talk himself out of murder talk, but [Y/N] simply smiled. “Oh, we’re just doing the breathing technique. So  _much_  tension.” [Y/N] puffed out her breath, skillfully demonstrating how to inhale through her nose and exhale through her mouth with a sigh.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” The instructor nodded and continued walking.

[Y/N]’s brows knitted together. “Did she just… Kris Jenner me?”

“What?” Steve looked at her face, not understanding, and she felt his hot breath fan her neck.

“Nothing. Just breathe. Breathe.” [Y/N] told herself while she slowed down her breathing and closed her eyes, tension filling her body rather than disappearing from it.

After going through the supposedly relaxing exercises, it was time to figure out the anatomy of babies and what the different possible options were during childbirth, and how the parents needed to set up their birthing plan in which they’d have their wishes and preferences written down, so nothing would go wrong during the labor itself. Breastfeeding would be discussed in the following class, the instructor specified after someone asked about it, but for now they would learn how to put a diaper on a baby. It was simple enough, apparently.

“There’s many options,” The instructor explained. “Clothed diapers are much better for the environment, but give yourself a break and start out with disposable diapers specifically for newborn babies. There are environmentally friendly ones. This way you at least get plenty of practice and you don’t have to deal with scooping the poop out just yet.”

“Scooping out the poop. Good God. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t have pets,” [Y/N] said under her breath to Steve.

“Yeah, that visual isn’t great.”

“So, does the cleaning service at the Tower also scoop out poop out of clothed diapers? Think that falls under their service? You’re so lucky.”

“I… have not had to ask that before.”

“Oh, are there certain things you  _have_  asked?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”  

“Pay attention,  _everyone_. Pick up your doll, we’re going to put on the diaper. Are we ready?” The instructor looked around the circle, and Steve nodded when she looked their way. “Get the diaper out of the package. The front usually has a little print or pattern on it, and the back has two stickers. So now that you’ve opened it, go ahead. Follow me.”

Steve followed the instructions carefully, showing [Y/N] the diapers, and she glanced around the workshop, looking at who else was toiling away with the baby stuff.

The instructor continued, “Then you lift the baby’s legs, go ahead mommies or daddies. Place the diaper under the bottom of your baby. Pull the front through the legs, like this, open the diaper and tuck it around your baby’s waist. Open the tap of the sticker and wrap it around the diaper.”

“Aha, I did it!” Steve said proudly. “This isn’t that bad.”

“Just imagine the poop or pee.”

“That will be one of the many consequences. I’ve accepted them.”

“So am I the only one complaining?”

Steve grinned. “Seems like it.”

“Just you wait!” [Y/N] took the doll from Steve to remove the diaper and put a new one on the baby. He helped raising the baby’s legs, and she attached the taps to the front of the diaper.

“Teamwork,” Steve said, and she clicked her tongue.

 

***

 

After weeks of taking things easy and mostly spending time seated on the couch or bed when she wasn’t working, because life had simply gotten much more tiring, it was finally time for something fun again. Something [Y/N] had looked forward to. The baby shower. Sarah, her oldest friend and Sam's sister, had taken the responsibility to throw the celebration of mother with child, so [Y/N] knew that it was going to be great. Sarah always knew how to deliver on a good time.

The doors to the baby shower opened, and [Y/N] gaped around the area. Sarah held her hand and pulled [Y/N] further in while Sam and Steve walked behind them, talking about something amongst themselves. The open venue consisted of a whitewashed wooden plank backdrop, garnished with un-manicured white-green flowers in golden vases as centerpieces on a set of brown or soft green tables, surrounded by sparkling ornaments and delicious golden-brown treats. It was beautiful, really. But then [Y/N] saw the most delicious thing she had seen in a while: A two-tiered semi-naked and soft green cake topped with white flowers was placed in the middle of the serving table. Another thing to look forward to.

On the other side the space was filled with plushy seating areas that looked really cozy, and high-rising cocktail tables for those who preferred to stand. She was obviously going to sit down. And before she knew it, the venue started filling with their guests: family, friends, your run-of-the-mill superheroes. It certainly wasn't a gawk-fest, or anything. And once everyone was catered to, the games began.

The first game was to honor the mother, called ‘Who knows mommy best?’. Sarah excused herself from the game, because it would not be fair to the other contestants, and she wanted to give Steve a real chance to win. [Y/N] nibbled on her bottom lip, thinking how she only knew this man for a little over seven months. There was still so much that they needed to learn about each other. It was crazy, really, still, to imagine that she was going to have a baby… first of all, and with a man she hadn’t known for a long time, but… Captain America of all people. Crazy was an understatement, right?

To continue the fun, the next game they played was ‘How old was mommy?’ (what was up with being called ‘mommy’ the whole time? Her baby instructor clearly wasn’t the only one). Anyway, apparently, the focus still remained on [Y/N], except that this time around it was a bit more humiliating. Sarah and, definitely, Sam had dug up all kinds of pictures from their childhood when [Y/N] went through her many awkward teenage phases. There was a point to this game, though, besides embarrassing [Y/N], namely trying to figure out what her age was in the photographs. Steve was amazed with some of [Y/N]’s outfit choices _—_ others simply laughed and Sam smirked, observing her reactions. Oh, he was definitely behind this _—_ and Steve remarked that he enjoyed learning more about her life. His was widely known and available at that  _tiny_  museum of his, so this was like taking a walk in the museum of her life. She had squeezed his hand and smiled when he said that. It made the experience less embarrassing for her, but only slightly.

Once the third game was being explained, Steve stood up from the seats and walked towards the rustic backdrop. On the other side of the room his group of friends huddled together, sipping on their drinks and talking amongst themselves while they looked and pointed towards what was happening in the middle… with [Y/N]. They all came. Nick, Clint, Wanda, Tony, Pepper, and Rhodey. Smiles were visible on their faces. They seemed entertained. Even Tony managed to keep a somewhat low profile, sticking close to Pepper. Steve stood still in front of the main table, glanced at a whitewashed wooden cardboard that stood next to it, and smiled after he read the inscription: ‘ _Ten little fingers, ten little toes. Two little eyes, one little nose. Boy or girl, only the parents know_.’

Steve couldn’t help but think back to the first ultrasound he and [Y/N] had gone to, and every one after that, where they witnessed their baby grow from a little peanut to the size of a carrot, developing those ten little fingers and ten little toes. He was happy his child was a healthy baby, free from the diseases he had been tormented with as a kid. His child would be unencumbered by illness, and Steve would make sure it would remain out of harm’s way. No matter what.  

“Steve, my man, there you are.” Sam walked up to Steve. “What are you doing here, hiding in the back? You’re the dad-to-be, you should be front and center, seated next to [Y/N].”

“I’ll go back in a second. I needed a moment.”

The expression on Sam’s face dulled. “You alright?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just, uhh, frustrated.”

“Frustrated? Why’s that?”

“I’m having a child.” Steve let out a laugh, and his hand slid through his hair.

“Ah, that would do it.” Sam stood silently next to Steve, and followed his expression towards the middle of the venue. The guests had begun to hand out presents for [Y/N] to open. Those were gifts for the baby. He should return. Be present. “Natasha still off on her mission?”

“She is.”

“Been what…?”

“About five months now.”

“Cool, cool…” _—_ Sam turned back to Steve _—_ “So what’s the frustration about?”

“It’s fine, really.”

“Sure it is.”  

“It’s just hard to remain cooperative sometimes.”

“Parenthood will probably feel like that.” _—_ Sam looked at the cookies on the table _—_ “But you know what it’s like to be in a team. You and [Y/N] are in one now.”

“Problem is I’ve gotten used to leading.”

“ _Ah_ , and [Y/N] likes to do things her own way too.”

“There’s no point in placing the blame. All there is left is taking this one step at a time until the baby comes, and sometimes it seems like she isn’t. Taking steps. And I don’t know how to make it better for her. Seems like I only make it worse when I try to help.”

Sam offered Steve a chocolate-chip cookie and he took it. “I’m sure she’s dealing with it. Just differently. You’re more pro-active, she’s more…”

“Avoidant.”

“Always has been, but she gets the job done.” Sam shrugged.

“I’m just worried. That’s all. But I know she is too. You’d think now that the baby is almost here, with less than two months left, that we’d gotten used to the idea, but I guess we’re not there yet.

“At least you two warmed up to each other.”

Steve kept his eyes fixated on [Y/N]. “She told you about that?”

“Uhah…” _—_ Sam made a pained face _—_ “It’s the pregnancy. Has to be. She keeps on blabbering about things I really don’t want to hear, like your sex life, but then she enjoys making everyone uncomfortable. Could also just be her then.”

“Yeah, well, I’m trying to be there for her.”

“Sounded… like you’re succeeding.” Sam’s raised thumbs were accompanied by an uneasy smile.

“Uhh, did you hear back from that bug man?” Steve turned to the refreshment table too and reached for a glass of milk.

“No, and Tic Tac calls himself the Ant-Man. But look man, whatever it is, just talk to her about it. If she doesn’t want to talk yet, give her more time. I know it’s only weeks left now, but it’ll be fine. You’ve got a huge team of superheroes to fall back on. And Sarah, the civilian.” Sam winked at his sister, who was approaching them, and she rolled her eyes pointing at something at the table.

“Superhero? Is that what you call yourself?” Steve grinned.

“That’s what the ladies call me. Might as well embrace it. See, be more like me, Steve. I’m all about embracing the situation.” Sam grinned back and grabbed two glasses of soda, then walked past a group of women towards his sister. “Excuse me, ladies. Superhero coming through.”

“Oh, Samuel, don’t be a fool.” Sam’s sister slapped him on the shoulder, and he handed her a glass.  

“Bothered to bring you a drink though, I’d call that mighty heroic.”

Sarah smiled from ear to ear. “You’re a man of honor.”

“And  _you’re_  welcome. Let’s get back to [Y/N].” Sam turned his head towards Steve and signaled him. “You comin’, Steve?”

Steve placed the big chocolate-chip cookie on top of his glass of milk and grabbed a chocolate party spoon for [Y/N], then followed Sam and Sarah back to where the unwrapping was happening.

“Oh, Steve, look at these adorable baby booties we got.” [Y/N] showed him the tiny Converse sneakers when he sat down next to her, and Steve smiled widely when he saw it. “Everything’s likeable when it’s small, for some reason.”

“These are really great. Who did we get it from?”

“Wanda!” [Y/N] pointed to where Wanda was standing, and Steve gave her a courteous nod, and Wanda smiled back. “We love it, Wanda. Thank you so much again.”

“You kan zank me with a picturrre of the baby  _boy_?  _gi_ _rr_ _rl_? wearrring it.” A small smile appeared on Wanda’s face, and [Y/N] couldn’t quite place it. It was puzzling. They hadn’t responded to her baby-guessing strategy, so why was she...

“Do you think she knows?” [Y/N] asked Steve.

“Yeah, she knows.” Steve took a bite of his cookie then sipped on his milk. He was very laid-back about it. Perhaps he had gotten used to the idea of not being able to have any secrets around Wanda… but that was just… so confronting.

“Milk and cookies, huh?” She put the worrisome thought out of her mind.

“Hmm? You can never go wrong with a classic. Besides I would always get sick when I had milk as a kid, so now I like to indulge a bit when I can.”

“You’re a wild man, Steve.” [Y/N] grinned and took a bite of her chocolate party spoon. “ _Ohhh_ , God. This is delicious. Sarah is amazing.”

“Are you having a good time?”

“An amazing time!” _—_ Her whole face lit up _—_ “What about you?”

Steve nodded. “This is fun. It’s good to be surrounded by people who matter and care.”

“It really is.” She nudged Steve, and he gave her a small smile. “What about your friend? Natasha? I can’t believe I haven’t met her yet.”

“She’s off trying to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. It’s complicated.”

“Huh, sounds that way. Hope she’s successful soon.”

“Me too,” Steve said, and then was disturbed by another guest who wanted to gift their present. Who could ever say no to more presents?

Eventually the day came to an end, and Sam and Sarah stayed behind to help gather all the presents and organize things for [Y/N]. It was then when [Y/N] nudged Steve and asked him if he could get the small tokens of appreciation for them. In the meantime [Y/N] asked if both Sam and Sarah could take a seat with [Y/N]. She was pretty tired from such a fun day, and there was still something that needed to be discussed. Steve returned with a gift-wrapped box in each hand, and [Y/N] began to explain how thankful she was to have always had Sam and Sarah in her life. She was always able to rely on them, and today was no different. How they have shown her much love and care in their life, and if something were to ever happen to [Y/N] and Steve, they hoped that Sam and Sarah would show that kind of love and care to their child too. And Steve repeated that he trusted in that.

Steve handed both Sam and Sarah a box, they opened it, and inside there was a large mug with personalized inscriptions and a fitting font. Sam’s said ‘The Godfather’ and Sarah’s said ‘Fairy Godmother’. Their faces changed, teardrops instantly coming down Sarah’s face, and Sam’s brightening, his mouth agape  _—_  silent for once.

“You’re my family. Our family. And we would like to extend that privilege to our child.” [Y/N] her eyes flooded with tears.

“So will you be our child’s godparents?” Steve asked gravely.

“Are you  _kidding_  me?” Sam’s voice was thick with emotion, and he pulled both her and Steve in for a hug.

“Uhh, hello? Why am I being excluded?” Sarah blinked away her tears, and Sam wrapped his arm around her too, the four of them smiling, crying, laughing, or looking around stoically. Guess who. Everyone’s emotions were all over the place whether they were outwardly expressing it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slight tardiness. Xmas shizzle got in the way. Here it was, anyway! Merry Xmas! Find me on [Tumblr](https://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com/).


	8. The Mood Swings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Y/N] hasn’t been herself lately... she’s catching feelings, her emotions all over the place, and then there’s... Natasha Romanoff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit stuff, people.

[Y/N] firmly believed that she was the type of person who owned the way she felt, but then… everything happened. The pregnancy happened. And it turned her world upside down. It was the unexpected, the unimaginable, and all of it brought her to this point where she had to be honest with herself and own up to her feelings: she was having a baby with Captain freaking America, and to make matters worse… she was falling in love with him. Turned out he wasn’t a fuckboy. Turned out he was pretty fucking perfect. It infuriated her, but there was no running from any of it. She had to stop doing that.

Ok, so, fine. There it was. She had owned up to it. But admitting that she had feelings for Steve was one thing. Now all she could think of was… what was she going to do about it? He was a good guy _—_ no, scratch that. He was a great guy _—_ but whatever they were doing together, they were doing for the sake of the baby. Perhaps not the fucking together, but did feelings have anything to do with that? Hers didn't for a long enough time… right? Just because he was great to her, it didn't mean he cared for her as more than just the future mother of his unplanned child. Fuck, didn't she consider shit would become complicated? If this pregnancy wasn't complicated before, then it sure as fucking Hell was now.

She needed to simplify things. She could do that. She was a straightforward and easy-going girl. Uncomplicated was her middle name. Perhaps the last couple of months would make that hard to believe, but  _really_ … It was time. Steve and [Y/N] had things to discuss.  She was a firm believer of honesty… it usually brought her a great wonderful things, but there was always the risk of rejection. Still, she needed to discuss the ground rules again, and she hoped… he'd be up for more than just sex. She might as well do it now since she was craving other things too. Five more minutes and then she'd text him. Moment of truth.

 

 

After a long cold shower to cool her off and dabbing on minimal makeup to her face to look somewhat alive, [Y/N] took an Uber to Steve's. She packed a bag. Most evenings when she came over he convinced her to spend the night. The further into her pregnancy she got the less inclined she was to protest. And by now… it had become an endearing aspect after a long, good, satisfying round of… nooky. A smile crept on her face at the thought. She really needed this tonight. Her body had changed so much, and everything was hurting… and Steve took such good care of her. She'd become spoiled by his affection.

“Wow, it's like a sauna in here,” [Y/N] said as she walked through Steve's kitchen to his living room with him. There were dirty dishes in his kitchen sink, more than just his.

Steve looked at her with worry. “Are you feeling alright? It's not that warm.”

“Hmm, I've been feeling hot and lightheaded for some time now.” She waved aside his concern. This wasn't anything new.

“Do you need to see the doctor? I'm sure someone's still working upstairs.”

“No, that's alright. Just… can we open a window? Some cool air will do the trick.”

“I can do that.” A woman dressed in all black said and got up from Steve's sofa when they entered the living room. She sauntered towards the windows, her hips swaying from left to right, and her long locks dancing around her shoulders.

[Y/N] recognized her immediately. It was hard not to. Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow. A great name. She was the second female Avenger that [Y/N] knew of, and she had done many public appearances. [Y/N] thought it was typical to pick a woman, someone deemed less intimidating by society, to be the spokesperson out of all the superheroes. But being in the same room as her now, she seemed very intimidating.

Steve mentioned something about Natasha just swinging by for dinner since she lived in the Tower too, but [Y/N] wasn't really listening. She was watching her instead. It was a peculiar thing. The warm yellow and orange beams of city lights shone softly on her face when she drew back the curtains and opened the window to Steve's living room, and when she spun around to face them with a poised smile, her long golden red locks gleamed in the reflected illumination. Natasha's beauty was like that of the sleeping Iphigenia in Frederic Leighton’s painting, sweeping and perdurable, drawing in the enamored gaze of any man…

“I don't think you two have officially met yet,” Steve said once Natasha stood still in front of them.

“We haven't. That's on me. I've been away on a mission that seemed endless, really. Didn’t exactly end yet…” Her words were uttered in a serious manner, but there was something suggestive in her tone.

“Fortunately you’re back for now,” Steve said to her.

“And I even brought our lost puppy with me.”

“Puppy?” [Y/N] asked.

“Alright, you’re right, that’s questionable.” Natasha’s eyes twinkled.

Steve shook his head. “Dr. Bruce Banner. He's—”

“The Hulk?”

Natasha raised her shoulder slightly. “Not exactly a puppy…”

“But you're back now. That's what matters.  _Nat_ , this is [Y/N]. [Y/N] this is Natasha.” Steve formally introduced the two women to each other.

Natasha smiled again and gestured to [Y/N]'s stomach, “And I've got so much catching up to do. You must be… eight months pregnant now?”

“Is it that obvious?” She placed a hand over her belly.

“Not at all. I'm just great at math.”

“Oh, alright.”

“How've you been handling the pregnancy? Has Steve here been a good support system?” Natasha nudged Steve's elbow, and he stood straighter while he grinned at her, then looked back at [Y/N] for her reply.

“To the best of my ability…” She felt awkward just standing there… and her back was killing her. “And Steve’s been helpful.”

Natasha quietly watched [Y/N], it was rather unsettling. “I wouldn’t expect any less from him. Would you rather sit?”

“Oh, no, uhh… it’s ok.”

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it. Got another stop.”

“Give Clint and Laura my regards,” Steve said.

“Mhmm, thanks for dinner. Nice meeting you, [Y/N].”

Steve stretched his body and stepped closer to [Y/N] after Natasha closed the door to his apartment while [Y/N] shifted the weight of her body to her right hip, trying to think about what had just happened. “So you said she lives here?”

“Yeah, a floor below me.”

“I’ve seen her on the news a couple of times.”

“She usually handles the press. Tony is not equipped, and I'm not that willing.”

“She’s really beautiful.” She was able to control her voice as she said those words. She must’ve sounded cool, but she felt anything like it. It was hard not to compare herself to Natasha. Anyone would have a hard time not doing that, but she was pregnant now on top of it. Her body no longer moved as freely as it did once, sitting down and standing up hurt, and her muscles were sore all the time.  _Everything_  hurt. And Natasha was so damn beautiful.

“Uhh, I guess.”

“And confident.”

Steve chuckled. “She’s confident alright.”  

“And skinny.” Her voice cracked. Steve remained quiet, but he looked at her questioningly, and it only made things worse. He didn’t even understand what she was going through. She should really stop her line of thought, but it was hard and her eyes glossed over with prickling tears… “And everything I’m really not right now.”

“Wow, wow,  _what_  is happening?” Steve walked towards her, confusion written all over his face.

“She seems extremely comfortable around you.”

“She is around anyone.  _Wait_ , there’s nothing going on between Nat and me.”

“And you lovingly call her Nat.”

“I lovingly call you my sweetheart.”

No longer able to subdue her tears from falling, she blinked away all the tears from her eyes to her cheeks. “You know what, I shouldn’t be here. I’m going home.”

She turned away from him, but he immediately stood in front of her, blocking her path out of the living room, and wrapped her in his arms, rubbing his hands over her shoulders. “Hey, slow down. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Steve. Nothing is going on at all.” Her voice cracked again, her words coming out whiny and fragmented. “Except that I’m eight months pregnant with your baby. That’s what’s going on. And I’m bloated, and my back hurts, my nipples are leaking and ruining each new bra I have to buy because these breasts won't stop growing. And I’m so enormous. I feel like a whale. And work is just  _so_   _much_ , and I’m fucking pregnant with your baby, and I don’t know. I’m just a mess. I’m just gonna go home now, ok.”

“You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead then wiped away her tears. “And you’re absolutely beautiful. You’re stunning.” Her bottom lip quivered, his eyes caught the movement, so he caressed it with his finger. “Let me show you. That’s why you came here, right?”

“ _No…_  yes…” [Y/N] mumbled. Steve held on to her chin with his thumb and index finger and stared at her. As a gentle smile warmed his face, he leaned down to place soft pecks on her lips. “I don’t know anymore, Steve.”

“Shh, it’s ok. Go on,” Another slow peck. “Go to my bedroom. I’m getting you some water.”

[Y/N] shook her head, this was absurd. She had behaved so absurd. Embarrassing, really. “No, it’s fine, Steve, really. I should just go.”

“To my bedroom, yes.  _Go_. I’ll take care of you, ok?” He deepened the kiss by brushing his tongue over her top lip, tilting his head, and she wanted to lean into his lips.

“Ok,” She finally whispered, caving after he broke the kiss.

She looked at the door to his bedroom, technically the door to his study, and he gestured her to go there. Guess he was not budging until she went inside, so with a sigh she dragged herself there. She walked past his desk, noticed the photograph of Steve and his old friend from the war days, and turned the corner into his bedroom. The windows were wide open, and it was making the hairs on her arm creep up—that was too cold—so she closed them all and sat down on at the foot of his bed, and looked up. The painting of the  _Wanderer above the Sea of Fog_  was mounted on the wall across from the bed, above his dresser.

She stared at it… The man's back was turned to the watchful eye of the viewer as he stood upon the edge of a precipice gazing at the vertical landscape before him, calmly overlooking a rocky landscape emerged in an illuminating and pervading mist. She couldn't help but wonder why Steve had chosen to place the embodiment of the Romantic solitary wanderer in his bedroom. Was he like the man in the painting? In a fixed state of self-reflection, contemplating the unsteady and mysterious prospects of life, of nature, and had their… situation made things more precarious for him?

She groaned out loud and fell back on his bed. Why was she doing this to herself? How had her life come to this? How had she become this pathetic person, bloated and blubbering over not feeling good enough after seeing another woman in his presence for about five minutes, and now she was also questioning her role in his life. It’s not like she chose this. This pregnancy was really messing with her whole existence, and she had about enough of it. The fun was over. If that was ever a part of it.

“Here you go.” Steve gave her a glass of water after she sat up straight with some difficulty and he knelt before her, his eyes meeting hers, gazing quietly while she took sips of her water.

“Do you have a tissue, Steve?”

“Uhh, yeah, of course.” He opened the bottom drawer of his bedside table, removed a Kleenex box, and handed her a tissue.

“Why do you have these there?” She waved at the table behind her and rubbed her nose clean.

He closed the drawer and walked back to her. “I think you know why.”

“No, I don’t think so.” She gave him big eyes and shook her head from side to side.

“Because I’m a tidy person.”

She smiled and crunched up the tissue in her hand. “Your coffee table says differently.”

“Shh, stop deflecting.” Steve brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, his hand resting in her neck, and pecked her lips. “Are you feeling better?”

She raised her shoulders. “Can we just cuddle? I kinda lost the sexy vibe I was feeling earlier.”

“Of course we can just cuddle.” Steve’s hand slid down her back, and he pulled her with him to the middle of his bed after they took their shoes off. He laid down on his side, his arm flat on the pillows, inviting her to come near him. She turned around, placed her head on the pillow, not facing him. Her neck fitted perfectly over his arm, and she sniffed when she felt his nose rub against her earlobe, inhaling her scent. The palm of his hand rested on her big belly protectively, and every now and then he would stroke it. The touch was both comforting and uncomfortable. She couldn’t help but be aware of how big her belly was.

“How’s work? You said it’s a lot?”

“Yeah…”—she sniffed—“There’s a new exhibition. There’s always a new exhibition. I normally love working on them, because they make my job so diverse, but I’m just so tired, Steve. It’s so hard hauling this body around, working full days, trying to eat healthy, do my exercises, when what I need is rest.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Don’t I what?”

“Rest? You work way too hard. Can’t be good on you or the baby.”

“Someone’s gotta do it. If I don’t, it’s not going to be done right.”

“You’ll be on maternity leave after the baby. You won’t be able to control things then. Might as well get used to that by gradually delegating your work now. That way your assistant and the new girl you hired won’t feel overburdened either.”

“I guess.”

“You have to trust the people you hired. That they’re competent. Trust in yourself that you hired the right people.”

“No, I know, but there’s just so much going on.”

“And there always will be, sweetheart, but you have got to make time for yourself.” Steve pecked her skin, and inhaled deeply. “At least when the baby is finally here, I can make more of a difference. Reduce your burden.”

“God, I look forward to the day.”

“Me too.” Steve moved the tip of his nose down to the nape of her neck and placed slow, wet kisses, working his way to the sensitive spots in the crook of her neck. She sighed at the touch, and when she tilted her head so he’d have easier access, Steve glided his hand up from her belly to gently knead her breasts through her clothing.

“Steve, thought we were just cuddling?”

“We are… can’t help it though. You smell really lovely, and your body is so soft, so sensitive.”

She let out a shaky breath.

After more slow kisses in her neck down to her shoulders, Steve murmured against her skin. “That’s how attracted I am to you.” He pressed his body against hers completely, and she could feel his bulge pushing against her ass.

She whimpered. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Isn’t this evidence enough?” He rubbed his cock against her several times, and she felt his erection growing harder.

And just like that her tears returned, and she was crying again. “ _Oh_ , it’s more than enough. What kind of person have I become? That this is the kind of validation that I need. This damn pregnancy is messed up.”

“Shh…” Steve licked her earlobe and his hand moved down to her groin, sending tingles along the way as she wiped away the tear that had fallen. He pushed her back flat on the bed and snuck his hand inside her maternity pants, and grazed his fingers over her venus mound, tickling her, then started to encircle her nub. His slow hand caressed her lovingly. “Just relax, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you came for.”

Every time his fingers circled back to her clit he added a bit more pressure, and she could feel the sensation building in her underbelly. Her body was ready. God, she was craving this. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose, trying to do as he said…. Relax. The warmth and thrill grew more powerful and it made her push her hips forward instinctively, so the pressure of his fingers would be stronger against her needy skin. Her lips parted as her exhales came out quicker.

Steve moved his hand lower, two of his fingers slipping between her folds and dipping inside of her, soothing the throbbing ache she felt at her entrance and the palm of his hand kept adding the increased pressure she was looking for earlier to her clit. His face disappeared in her neck again, and she held on to his head with one hand and the sheets with her other. She could feel herself getting closer… almost reaching her climax, but it didn’t feel the way it should… there was something getting in the way of it. Once that maddening strain within stopped from growing, and instead leveled just before the crowning point of her orgasm, she groaned in frustration. This wasn’t working. Her mind wasn’t in it. It was too busy focusing on all the wrong shit, like… how could he be attracted to her like this.

“It’s fine, Steve.” She placed her hand over his, putting an end to his actions. “I can’t concentrate on my orgasm.”

“Sure, you can.” Steve pulled his hand out of her maternity pants, then pulled them and her underwear down her legs. “Just focus on what I’m doing.” He took off her shirt and bra, and she sighed.

“You get naked too,” She said, and Steve laughed, then removed his clothing and laid down next to her again.

His wet fingers grazed over her jaw and his mouth covered hers slowly, pecking her top lip, then her bottom lip. And when her lips moved back, he slid his tongue inside of her mouth, the warm velvet feel making her melt in his embrace. “Stop thinking all those bad things about yourself. Just focus on how my fingers are making you feel.”

She exhaled deeply, trying to relax, and Steve’s fingers danced down her sensitive breasts, softly squeezing, to her wet folds. Entering her again, he slowed down his movements, curled his fingers, and kissed her harder. “They’re making you feel good?”

“Yes…” She sighed against his lips.

“Focus on that. You’re doing great.”

“Ok…”

Her exhalations grew raspier again as his plunges in her came harder, and the twists and bends of his long fingers happened faster. He breathed in her moans, and his bedroom filled with the slick noises of his rubs.

“How’s that?” Steve asked her after a couple of minutes, his mouth still lingering near hers.

“Hmm,  _ahhh_. It’s good.”

“Yeah?”

“Ahh, yeah…” She placed her hand over his, bucked her hips upwards, and she groaned. “ _Ahh_ , Steve, I want you inside of me.”

“I already—“

“Your cock. I need your cock inside of me.”

“Oh…” He bent down to suck on her nipples, taking his time and still rubbing her between her legs, making her agony grow bigger. Was he ignoring her?

She let out another long moan and repeated her request.

Steve slowed down his movements once more, “Ok. How about you go on top? Hm? That way you can decide what you’re comfortable with.” He removed his fingers.

“I can’t…” She sobbed, the tears making a reappearance. “I’m too tired, Steve. I’m so fucking exhausted, and this belly is so damn heavy.”

“Ok, hey, hey, it’s ok.” He kissed her slowly and deeply, trying to make her forget about her tiredness. “That’s not a problem at all. Go like this then.” He moved her on her side, spooning her again. “That’s right. You good?”

She nodded, and he rubbed his cock between her folds, wetting his cock, kissing her shoulder and watching her carefully, then pushed inside of her slowly.

The stretch made her tingle at her entrance, and her lips parted, but no sound was coming out. “Ohhh… [Y/N].” His voice was heavy and he brushed away her hair so he could see her face better, then he leaned down to kiss her jaw. “You doing ok?”

She hummed her assent and sniffed through her quiet moans, and he rested his arm on her belly, his fingers entwined with hers against her chest, his nails grazing over her collarbone, while he pushed himself deeper inside of her, then dragged himself all the way out again. And again. And again.

“Hmmm…” Steve groaned with his next thrust. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.”

She didn’t speak, just closed her eyes and let the sensations he was giving her—the girth of his cock, the way it hit the right spot inside of her, and the words on his lips, how it made her want to cry—flow through her body.

“So lovely and soft.” He nibbled her shoulder.

When he disentangled their hands, she felt his cold fingers on her clit, immediately rubbing her, immediately bringing her close to her orgasm… A state of frustration where he had brought her for so long, and she clenched around his cock. He grunted, and it made a shiver run down her spine.

“Are you doing ok? Do you want me to stop?” She felt Steve’s gaze on her face. 

She shook her head. “No, don’t stop. Why would you think that?”

“Your lack of,  _hmm_ , communication… ah, and the general… crying.” Steve breathed through his continued thrusts.

“No, Steve. Don’t stop…” She moved along with him. “This is just what I need.” Her voice was meek, but she pushed her ass out more, and it renewed Steve’s commitment to their act.

“ _Hmm_ , ok. You feel so warm.”

“Yeah?”

Steve pressed their lips together and quickened the pace of his fingers, “Y-yes,  _ah_ , and your lips taste so sweet.”

“Go on?” She wriggled along with the movements of his fingers.

Steve grinned to himself, his eyes closing while he thought. “You make me feel so good. Not just when I’m inside you. You always feel good to me, sweetheart.”

“Ahhh,  _hmm_.” [Y/N] sighed, trying to relax, but it was… hard to do.

Steve honed in on just her clitoris, consistently rubbing his fingers over it with a fast rhythm, and dropped his head in her neck. She kept clenching around him as he brought her closer and closer, and he rolled his cock inside of her rather than thrusting in and out. It gave her pressure from outside and inside, and before she had time to indulge in the strained sensation, the tension in her underbelly finally erupted and dispersed through her body. Her toes curled, her legs quivered and her back arched, making her ass push out further into his hip bones, and she let out a long and breathy cry.

Tears fell from her eyes again, out of frustration and consolation, and dampened her cheeks as relief washed over her. She was free now that her body and mind finally got what they had been craving, and she cleansed herself from those negative thoughts that had taken hold of her. She so fucking needed that, she thought with a fulfilled sigh.

Once she finally came back to her senses, she felt Steve plunging in and out of her faster, her figure moving along with his movements. He breathed heavily against her ear, the sound arousing her still, and the wet smacks of his hipbones hitting her ass became noisier after her moisture trickled down his cock. She held on to the back of his head, and he kissed her instantly, his eyes closed and his mind focused… until his body jerked against hers and she swallowed his groans.

The bedlam in his bedroom died down and both their breathing steadied, but neither of them moved or spoke. When the room temperature cooled down, and goosebumps became apparent on her body, Steve slipped out of her with a soft moan and reached for the blankets, and pulled it over them. She sighed again, guilt taking over, as she scooted in his embrace and turned around to face him.

“I’m sorry about earlier, Steve. My hormones are just all over the place.”

Steve brushed her hair away from her face, trying to read her emotions, and she wondered if the guilt was visible. “Nat’s just a friend. You’re my girl. The mother of my unborn baby. There’s no competition here.”

“Ok…”

“Yeah? Believe me now?”

She nodded her head, still embarrassed by her behavior. “Since when am I your girl?”

“Somewhere after one of the many times you wanted to bed me.” Steve smiled at her, then shrugged. “I can’t do casual.”

“Didn’t think to tell me then?” Her hands went to the warmth of his chest and crawled up to his collarbone.

“I thought we were on the same page.”

“I was just using you for your body,” She said softly and gave a small smile while Steve wiped away a tear from her cheek.

Steve chuckled, at least she was joking again. “Then, let’s get on the same page. Are you going to be my girl?”

“Ok…” a soft sniff.

Steve’s hand wrapped around her head, and he lifted himself above her slightly, his parted lips findings hers, and caressing her lightly… gently. “Those are happy tears, right?”

“At this point I can’t differentiate between my emotions anymore, ok.” She puffed out a breath, then laughed. “I’m a mess.”

“But you’re my mess now.”


	9. The Labor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The due date is nearing, and everyone is ready for the baby to arrive. An irritated [Y/N], an overbearing Steve, and a lighthearted Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did another visual thing. It got inspired by some late-night chatting with 'yourcrookedheart'... so... hope it amuses you as much as it did me.

The following days had been pretty blissful, aside from the baby that was getting bigger inside of [Y/N]’s stomach and was making it known to her every single day that it was outgrowing her. She had listened to Steve’s advice and was slowly handing over her official tasks to the new girl she had hired, and her assistant. Giving up the reigns of control did not come easy to her, especially since it seemed that this pregnancy had taken away any control she had, and her profession was the only part of her life that wasn’t affected by her pregnancy yet… but she knew this was coming. And Steve was right, this was for the better.  

“What about your bag? For the labor?” Steve was standing next to the kitchen counter, slowly flipping through a newspaper, making scribblings. He was probably playing a game. That’s what she would be doing. Ok, so maybe he was  _not_  doing that, after all.

[Y/N] gulped down her nasty vitamin smoothie and walked to the couch in her apartment. “Check, double check, triple check. Don’t worry.”

“I know it’s still somewhat early…”

“I  _can_  be prepared, though. I know I might not have given that impression, but I do prepare shit beforehand. I happen to manage an art gallery and that _—_ ” Her muscles twitched, and she put her drink down on the coffee table and tried to sit comfortably on the couch. “Oh, God, the baby’s kicking again. Looks like it really wants to get out. I want you to get out too, alien baby.” She spoke to her belly.

“Oh, can I feel?” Steve closed the newspaper, placed it on the kitchen counter, and looked at her.

“Uhah, come here.” [Y/N] waved him over, and Steve scooted next to her on the cushion. She took his hand and guided it towards where the invasion inside of her belly was taking place.

“So strong.” Steve gave her a heartwarming smile, and she refused to agree verbally.  His expression dulled, “Are you holding up?”

“Only barely.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Just  _—_  this is nice.”

“Ok.” Steve wrapped his other arm around her too, and held her. “So I’ve been meaning to address this, but you keep deflecting.”

“Oh,  _God_. Way to ruin the nice.” [Y/N] sighed and dropped her head on his shoulder.

“Uhh, where is the baby going to sleep? You haven’t gotten rid of your double bed yet, and there’s certainly no acceptable place for it in your living room.”

“Fine then…” _—s_ he groaned _—_ “Might as well shack up. Whatever, I’ll stop fighting it. Will make things easier with the baby too.” She looked around her living room carefully. “Can’t believe I have to say goodbye to my apartment. But at least this way the burden doesn’t solely fall on me. And I won’t have to call you over, but can just make you get out of the bed if the baby is crying, or something.”

Steve smiled, probably feeling victorious. “Sure, sure.”

“Besides, we’re officially fucking, anyways. So _—_ ”

“Don’t say it like that. We’re not doing  _that_.”

“Doing what?”

He gave her a blank look. “Fucking.”

“What are we doing then?”

“You’re my girl. We’re not messing around.”

“Oh, alright, Mr. Dutiful. Just wanted to hear you say that, really.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “It’s a good thing I  _actually_  like you.”

“Actually?” [Y/N] feigned offense, and Steve laughed, so she tried to give him a little shove but he just leaned down to properly kiss her.

“I’m happy that’s settled then. You’re finally ok with us living together. I’ll talk to Tony about it tonight.”

“Ok.”

“Yeah, you excited?”

[Y/N] shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

“Besides knowing it’s going to be green, we can finally put together a proper nursery. All the research I’ve been doing into the cribs. There’s just so much it’s ridiculous. I’ll get things up and running tomorrow. We can order something online.”

“Ok, I’m a bit more excited now.”

Steve pulled her closer in his embrace. “And you can also think about all the other rooms.”

“Yeah?” She looked at him with big eyes, ideas growing in that head of hers.

“Of course, a brand new apartment. It’ll be your place too.”

“ _Hm_ , what about my own walk-in closet? I got a lot of shoes.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Where do you put them all now?”

“Let me rephrase, I plan on buying a lot of shoes.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head, but agreed to a walk-in closet and whatever else she  _needed_.

After the talk that Steve knew [Y/N] had been avoiding from day one, he felt calmer. It was an important part of what would come after the pregnancy that he no longer needed to worry about. This way he knew he would be around his baby all the time and not just part time. That mattered to Steve. He wanted to be there for the sleepless nights too, to feed his child, to ensure they felt safe and loved. He got that sense of security from his father and mother, and he wanted his child to have it too.

Less than a week later and she was all moved in with Steve and Sam’s help. Finally saying yes to ‘shacking up’, as she had called it, in the final weeks of a pregnancy was not a great idea for anyone involved. Steve and [Y/N] got to know each other better during that move, and [Y/N] was not as calm and collected as she liked to think. Not under these circumstances. Steve had to walk on eggshells around her, so he tried to give her as much space as she required… now that they lived together. Yes, it was ironic, but he liked not having his head be bitten off, and she didn’t exactly feel any better about being so bad-tempered.

At least there was the apartment that Tony made available for them, located a few of floors below Steve’s current apartment, to keep them busy. [Y/N] took a lot of pleasure in shopping online and figuring out how to decorate each available room in the apartment. It was a short walk down for her with the elevator, so she could actually see a lot of the developments come to life. There were some things they would have to wait on until after the baby was born though. The big sofa with a chaise lounge she had ordered needed five weeks to be delivered, and the six burner rangetop she wanted with an optional grill would be placed a week after the expected due-date. She was very specific about all these things. Steve mentioned they had a chef at their disposal only a couple of floors down, but she insisted that she might not always feel like dining with the six to eight other people who lived in the Tower, so when that happened… she needed a stove with six burners. And a grill. He was fine with it. What was the point of arguing?

Steve chuckled, more out of frustration, his fingers delving through his hair after they both sat down on one of the sofas in the communal living room. “Sam told me to be patient with you. I'm a patient man, but it's been very challenging.”

“I'm sorry I made things so difficult…” [Y/N] brought his hand to her mouth, softly pecking it.

“Don't be.” _—_ Steve stared at the smile that appeared on her face _—_ “We both had to deal with this pregnancy in our own way and on our own time. I get that. I really do. I'm just glad we get to co-parent the right way.”

“How's that?”

“ _Together_.” His hand rested on her neck and he gazed in her eyes, his shoulders hunching, his face lowering, until he captured her mouth with his, and their lips brushed together. The velvet touch of her tongue slid through his lips, and he cherished her warmth. The gentle and unhurried nature of his kisses made her slacken in his arms, and she pushed her nails deeper into his skin.

Slowing her breath, [Y/N] mumbled: “Who would've thought… right? When I met you, and you presented yourself as a fuckboy _—_ "

“ _What_?" Steve’s eyes fluttered open, and he tilted his head. Why did she keep calling him that? He looked up the meaning, and he  _really_  wasn’t one.

“Unimaginable. And I'm still blaming your super semen.”

Steve chuckled and suddenly grew thoughtful. “Then what will we do after the baby is born?”

“Shit, how did we not think of this before?”

“Probably because the baby is the only thing on our minds right now.”

“Hmmm, no, sex has been on my mind quite a lot. I've just gotten so used to doing it without protection.” She pecked him on the lips, and he leaned forward for more than just a peck but she stopped him. “We will need something potent to keep your super soldiers away.”

“I’ll discuss it with the doctors tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you get on that.” [Y/N] nudged him, and Steve scanned the stairs. He had heard footsteps. Sam walked up almost soundlessly into the communal living area, and Steve had almost missed it.

When they made eye-contact, Sam inclined his head. “What’s up?” He sat down on a sofa across from them with an audible sigh. “Finally found you two. You're never going to believe what I saw the other day.”

“Fine, what is it then?” [Y/N] gave him a once-over.

Sam opened his backpack. “What, you're not even going to guess?”

“You  _just_  said we'll never guess it, and I've zero patience right now.” [Y/N] sounded irritable again.

“No, I said you're never going to  _be—_ ”

She groaned loudly and Steve intervened immediately. “Better if you just tell her, Sam, before you feel her wrath.”

“Famous last words…” [Y/N] glanced from Sam to Steve, and Steve grinned. He wasn't sure why he was grinning. She probably wasn't joking...

“Let me start out by saying I never read trash magazines,” Sam said.

[Y/N] snorted at that. “You know you've no secrets from me.”

“Yeah, well, you're supposed to  _keep_  them, not reveal them.” Sam stared her down, she rolled her eyes, and he continued: “So I  _accidentally_  saw this. Look.” 

Sam removed a glossy magazine from his backpack, flipped through it until he reached the right page, then pointed at two pages, and placed them on the glass coffee table. Steve would've been able to guess what it was… a picture of him and [Y/N], probably. She yanked the magazine away from Sam and scanned through the first page. Steve glanced over her shoulder. It was rubbish. Complete and utter rubbish, but entirely true.  

 

 

 

[Y/N] flipped the page to see the pictures of her and groaned, “ _No_ …. I can't believe this. I look terrible.”

“You look fine, [Y/N].  _Beautiful_. Don't pay attention to these things.” Steve took the magazine away from her, walked to the trashcan and threw it in. She was already feeling bad about herself. This wasn't helping.

“Hey! I did  _not_  pay money for that,” Sam said.

Steve smiled to Sam and sat back down next to [Y/N], putting an arm around her and giving her a gentle squeeze. “Then your money isn't wasted.”  

“Shouldn't you address the ‘mystery woman with the big baby bump’ at some point, though?” Sam asked.

“I don't see why I should. My private life is of no concern to anyone. I'm a peacekeeper, fighter for justice. I'm not a reality star, like those Kardashians.”

[Y/N] leaned into his embrace, so he stroked her. “And I'd like to remain a mystery woman.”

“We'll see how long that'll last. I'm surprised no one has come forward yet.” Sam raised his shoulders.

“ _Ughhh_ , another worry. Thanks, just what I needed today.” [Y/N] moved away from Steve.

“Just keeping it real.”

“Be fake, Sam. I'm going to take a nap. I’m tired. Can someone wake me when dinner is ready?” She glanced to Steve and he nodded his head. She looked worn out. Sleep would do her good. Maybe a heating pad for her back would help.

“You're going to google yourself now, huh?” Sam asked.

“ _Nooo_ …” _—_ [Y/N] heaved herself off the sofa slowly and gave Sam the evil eye _—_ “I'm gonna look up how I can put a curse on certain loudmouthed people.”

“I've got a lot of sea salt to protect me.” Sam chortled and called after her.

“Not everything is about you…” Steve heard [Y/N] say with a singsong voice before she turned the corner towards the elevator.

“Maybe you should give her a break,” Steve said to Sam after he was sure [Y/N] was no longer in earshot.

“Oh, she knows I'm joking. This is nothing.”

“No, I know, but she's been really stressed lately… even after taking a leave from work much earlier than planned. It's been weighing on her. She's exhausted, but very restless.”

“I can tell. It's made her snappier than normal. Brings back a lot of memories from when she'd just started getting her menstruations. Not a great time to be her nearest and dearest.”

“That's…” Steve squinted his eyes.

“No, I'm serious, she was Hell on kitten heels.”

“I’ve no idea what that means.”

“They're those really short heels. Yay high.” Sam indicated the measurement with his fingers and Steve shrugged. “She’d just gotten into wearing heels, really short ones because she was still practicing _—_ her mother was dead set against them but she wore them anyways _—_ and normally she'd join in on the cut and thrust, but not during Hell week _—_ her words not mine _—_ and she'd definitely bite my head off, so I'm used to it. She's a diamond in the rough, and I'm used to all the coarse facets of her personality.”

Recognition dawned on Steve's face. “Alright, no, you're right. You know her much better than I do.”

“But it's good that you care.  _Important_. And I'm glad for it, Steve. Of all the people to get knocked up by, I'm glad it's you. What a weird compliment to give.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, Sam. I think.”

“On a serious note though, how long until dinner? I'm starving.”

“An hour, I think. How about we shoot some pool?”

They walked down the stairs to the billiard table, and Steve grabbed two cue sticks, handing Sam one. While Sam set up the game, Steve excused himself for a moment to boil some water for [Y/N]’s heating pad, but by the time he walked into his bedroom… she was sound asleep on his bed. He placed the heating pad on his side of the bed, and returned to the billiard table with a beer for Sam. Only a couple of weeks until he could experience the taste of beer again; being able to crack open a cold Samuel Adam’s every once in a while would be good. He also missed the distinctive bitter flavor of coffee early in the morning. Strange… how unappreciated the little things were until he had to abstain from them.

Fortunately for dinner both Steve and [Y/N] were able to eat spaghetti carbonara again after months of avoiding it.

[Y/N] sniffed her plate and looked suspiciously around the table. “The eggs are cooked, right?”

“Affirmative, I double-checked with the chef. Everything’s safe for the baby.” Steve reassured her, and she took a deep breath before taking a bite.  

“ _Hmm_ , this is so good. I haven’t had spaghetti carbonara in such a long time.” [Y/N] said, and Steve took a forkful himself. The thick warm sauce was so full of flavor, he almost gulped the spaghetti down.  

“There’s nothing better.” _—_ Tony chewed on a mouthful across from Steve _—_ “Even though the sauce tastes different now.”

“Please, it tastes the same,” Natasha said, seated at the head of the table.

“And that, my dear Avenging friends and [Y/N], is what separates the commoners from _—”_

Natasha quirked an eyebrow. “The pretentious?”

Tony smirked. “I was going to say ‘me’, but yes.”

“Come on, this is pasta we’re talking about. There is nothing more run-of-the-mill than pasta.” Bruce tilted his head.

“Now, Bruce, you don’t want to walk on that side of the road. Come back to me.” Tony dramatically placed a hand on Bruce’s arm.

He looked down at it, then continued with a steady voice: “That reminds me… did you hear back from the DKV?”

“Strangely, no. It’s almost as if my good name is working against me somehow.”

Natasha simpered. “You’re supposed to be more self-aware than that.”

“I’m as self-aware as they come. Am I not a charitable to a fault? Ask [Y/N] here.” Tony pointed to her, and [Y/N] put her fork down.

“Dude! I’m right here.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly my point.” Tony said, the corner of his mouth lifting.

“Tony!” Steve said sternly.

“Steve!” _—_ Tony mimicked him _—_ “I know you think saying my name like that holds a lot of meaning, but you do _—_ “

Bruce ignored Tony, “Waiting around like this is unlike you.”

“Pepper’s been making me try this new thing called ‘patience’. It’s disquieting.” Tony flailed his hand in front of his face, and Bruce smiled.

Sam cleared his throat. “ _Anyways_ , about you being here. What's it like living together?”

“Draining.” [Y/N] took another bite of the spaghetti.

“That's become your go-to answer for each one of my questions.”

“So? Take a hint, Sam.”

“You, missy, I'm gonna tell your mom on you.” Sam elbowed [Y/N].

[Y/N] smiled. “Please don't. That's the last thing I could use right now. Another overbearing person. No offense Steve.”

Steve's stopped himself from taking another bite and his eyes darted to her. “Wasn't… actually offended… until now.”

Soft murmurs and sniggering erupted around the dinner table, Tony's pleased exclamations the loudest, and [Y/N]'s smile turned into a big grin. “I'm sorry. That was mean. Tony’s asshole ways are rubbing off on me.” Tony smirked, but she looked at Steve and placed her hand over his.

He nodded at her slowly, fork returning to his lips.

“Still funny though, and not directed at me, so I'm good with it.” Sam shrugged behind [Y/N], and the sniggering returned.

“Can be directed at you, though.” She smiled at Sam.

“Shutting up right now.” Sam stuffed his mouth.

“Wise man.”

“Wise man Sam. It me,” He mumbled whilst chewing.

Steve could get used to this, he thought with an appreciative glance around the table. Some people were missing, some important people, but it was a beautiful thing to have those who mattered most in his life seated together, eating together, laughing together.  _Together_ , yes, that was a marvelous thing.

“How about a bath before we go to bed?” Steve asked [Y/N] long after dinner, the instant everyone scattered back to their apartments or homes. He removed his shirt, placing it behind [Y/N] on his bed, and stretched his body, trying to loosen his muscles after this morning’s rigorous training session with Nat. A bath sounded wonderful right about now, and he was certain [Y/N] could use one too. Her muscles must’ve been aching too.

“Oh, alright. That’s a great idea. Just let me get undressed first.” Her eyes glided down his chest, and he had to stop his mouth from twitching into a smile.

Steve bent down in front of her, his fingers grazing over her jawline until they reached the shell of her ear, making her draw in her breath, and he pressed his lips on her forehead. “Take your time. I’ll set it up.”

“Can you use the star? The silver one?” She called after him, and he hummed a sound of assent, quickly stepping from his bed towards his bathroom.

The lights went on as soon as he entered, and Steve glanced around the room. Hm, the bathtub first. He curved his body and turned on the tap, hot water pouring down almost instantly, then put the tub stopper in the drain. Steve looked at himself in the mirror, down at his jeans, and he unbuttoned them, pulling down the zipper when he realized [Y/N] had brought some tea lights with her. Back in his bedroom, he rummaged through his bedside table while [Y/N] was struggling with her pants.

“Need help, sweetheart?”

“No, I can manage.”

Steve found the tea lights and placed five of them on one side of the blue Bahia granite tub, away from where their heads would be, lit them then removed his jeans and boxer briefs. He poked around in the small hamper she had placed in his bathroom for the time being, and searched for a star-shaped bath melt… That’s what these inventive things were called, because… well, they melted in the bath.

“This one?” Steve leaned against the jamb of the doorway that connected his bedroom to the bathroom.

[Y/N] looked behind her, having finally managed to get out of her pants, and she gaped from the object in his hand to the part between his legs. “Uhh, yeah.”

Steve eased the bath melt into the tub and closed the faucet, then placed a bath pouf in there too. He dimmed the light in the bathroom, then turned back around to the tub, his right hand swirling in the water helping the luscious aroma and ingredients flow around. The silver spangle softened in the water at once, a whiff of spicy lime penetrating his nostrils when he inhaled deeply, and grayish specks of glitter dissolving until all there was left was pale mauve-blue water with a silvery shimmer.

“Ready?” [Y/N] appeared in the bathroom, her hair pulled up in a clip and her hand underneath her belly, like she was trying to carry its weight.

Steve stopped crouching and reached for her hand, guiding her into the tub carefully, then joined her after she sat down in the warm water. The tea lights shone a soft golden gleam throughout the bathroom, casting shadows wherever the light couldn’t reach. She leaned back against Steve’s chest and he dipped the bath pouf under water again. Almost all of her body was submerged in the water, the blue-silver sparkles clinging on to her skin, but her collarbone and shoulders rose ever so softly above the still shimmery surface. Steve’s hand moved up to her neck, and he squeezed in the bath pouf when he reached her skin, to let the warm water caress every part of her body.

[Y/N] emitted a long breath, a hushed moan of relief, and the tip of her nose grazed against his neck. She kissed him there, and let him continue washing the warm water over her then rubbing her skin with the pouf until her breathing became deeper. “Just what I needed, Steve.” She murmured eventually.

“Me too.” His voice came out in a whisper, not wanting to snap her or himself out of their comfortable bubble of bliss.

“Could you…” [Y/N] lifted her hand from underneath the warm water and pointed to the nape of her neck. Silver trickles of water fell down her skin.

Steve skimmed the sides of her neck with his fingers, lowering them until he could wrap his hands over the tense muscles in her shoulders, and began to knead… slowly, deeply. She sighed, dropping her head and shoulders forward, so he could rub her shoulder blades, then work his way down her spinal column to the small of her back, where his touch was especially appreciated. He kneaded the joints and muscles of her body generously with the warmth of his hands and the moisturizing water. And her soft moans gratified him.

“Hey, Steve?” [Y/N] whispered after what seemed like forever.

“Hm?”

“You’re going to be a great father.”

Her words came out so easily, but they weighed heavily on his heart. It was something he had been dealing with from the day he found out the news. He was going to be a father, but would he even be a good one? “Yeah?”

“Uhah…” She looked at him with her drowsy eyes, then nodded for emphasis and he wrapped his arms around her. She couldn’t have known how much he needed to hear it, how much he needed to hear it from her.

He kissed her gently, then let go of her. “Thank you.” The water had begun to cool, and he wondered if he should turn on the faucet for more heat, when her body slackened and she leaned back against him with a sigh. “I could sleep like this.”

“Sleep then. I’ll keep an eye open.” He kissed the side of her head.

“ _Hmm_ , as much as I want that… let’s just go to bed.”

“You sure?”

She yawned. “Uhah, this bath was so relaxing… I’m beat.”

“Ok, let me help you up.”

Steve pulled down [Y/N]’s towel from the rack and wrapped it around her arms, his body still dripping on the rug, and as he rubbed her down, her finger trailed idly along his abdomen… Steve pressed his lips together and the corner of his mouth quirked up.

He hovered above her while the towel separated his wet figure from her, and his hands wrapped around her jaw… Steve tilted his head, their noses brushed together, and she sucked in her breath in anticipation. There was a soft pull in the pit of his stomach, the one that always appeared when they took things slow, and Steve skimmed the tip of his tongue over the bottom of her lip… Her lips parted further, the towel dropping down to her belly, and just as Steve was about to step back, to let the towel fall to the floor, he heard a sudden pop, followed by an immediate gush of warm fluid down [Y/N]’s legs until it reached both their feet.

Steve stepped back, his eyes widening, “What the _—_ “

“ _Fuck_ , my water broke.” [Y/N] grimaced as she stared at the puddle around her feet. “That explains the pain I felt earlier today. Those were contractions. Shit.”

“Oh, God.” Steve wasn’t sure who looked more panicked, [Y/N] or him, but he tried to remain calm. “Fuck,  _oh_ , fuck.” He was failing.

“I’m taking a quick shower. Can you get started?”

Steve recovered and nodded. “Yes, wait, let me just quickly rinse my feet too.”  

They knew what they were supposed to do. They had talked about it often enough, going through the steps one by one. After Steve got the rinsing out of the way, he made all the necessary phone calls.

Step 1: call [Y/N]’s OB/GYN, the doctors who knew of (pre)natal care and Steve’s special condition, and Tony’s trusted driver to take them to the hospital so Steve could stay with [Y/N].

Step 2: Once they were dressed, he took her by the arm and held the birthing bag in the other, the one she had prepared weeks ago and they would finally get to use.

Step 3: Get [Y/N] checked into the hospital, so she can rest in a birthing room until her OB/GYN+ are available.

Step 4: Stop panicking.

Step 5: Call her parents. Call the baby’s godparents.

Step 6: Seriously, stop panicking. Apparently, this was a slow and boring process.

The doctors checked her vitals, took urine and blood samples, started an IV, and a pelvic exam took place. The pain of contractions suddenly intensifying was just another sign that the baby was coming. She said it felt like someone was punching her in the stomach over and over again, like getting pounded on… And Steve didn’t know how to make it better. The doctor told them she was almost ready when she was dilated to 10 centimeters and the contractions _—_ punches _—_ were coming every four minutes, but they had to wait until her cervix opened completely. They continued doing the breathing exercise together, the one she hated on in every birthing class they took, and now she didn’t seem any less annoyed. Clearly this never helped her relax in the first place.

And her murder list was a thing she really made, and everyone was on it. Her parents. Sam. Sarah. Steve too. Especially him. An epidural was needed. When her cervix opened completely, everyone had to leave the room, except for Steve and her mother, because the pushing was going to happen. [Y/N] was so glad when she was  _finally_  allowed to, and Steve… yeah, he was glad too.

It helped for her to focus on the pushing, because the pain had drifted away, and all there was left for her to do was push… and push some more. It looked painful. There were only the rare occasions in Steve’s life when he felt utterly vulnerable. Even when he was a little guy living in his substandard Brooklyn neighborhood, getting beat by another bully, Steve hadn’t really felt defenseless. He knew he was doing the right thing, even if all he could do was take the punches. But being in this birthing room, having to watch [Y/N] go through the horrifying pains as she fought to bring their child into this world… he felt helpless. He was dependent on the doctors to do right by [Y/N] and their child.

It was terrifying.

She looked like she was in a lot of pain, but her determination was also visible. The baby had to come out, she had yelled at the doctors. Nothing was getting in the way of that… except for exhaustion. She cried frustrated tears, she crushed his hands in anger, and she screamed at everything and everyone… until that one final push really happened and they heard loud crying. The baby was delivered. Steve stood up from his lab stool, his eyes widening, and he looked at [Y/N] who was heaving, teardrops rolling down her cheeks, after perceiving the sound of their child.

“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord, Steve?” Dr. Garcia checked the baby’s vitals then glanced at Steve, who looked back at [Y/N]. She nodded her head.

“Uhh, I-I do.” Steve stepped towards the other side, towards her lower body, and met his son.

Wrinkles of surprise appeared on his forehead, a certain understanding building behind his eyes that moved Steve to the core of his being. He had to wrap his head around… that this child, this boy, was  _his_ … made from his DNA. He no longer was an idea, a big bump on [Y/N]’s body, but an actual being. A little person, crying loudly, making sure everyone knew he was here now.

“Here you go.” Dr. Garcia handed Steve the small scissors that were attached to the help clamp and the umbilical cord. Steve blinked momentarily, then nodded at the doctor, added pressure, and cut the cord. “Good job. [Y/N], you ready?”

“Yes…” Steve heard her sigh, and Steve glanced towards her.

“Are you ok?” His voice was soft, and he wanted to touch [Y/N].

“Felt like Dante’s descent into Hell. Dr. Garcia here was Virgil. I’m  _never_ doing that again.” [Y/N] managed to produce a halfhearted smile, then sat up slightly straighter when Dr. Garcia walked up to her with their baby.

Dr. Garcia smiled widely. “You did great, [Y/N].”

She had done great. She had done it all. He could feel the tears pressing in his eyes when [Y/N] took their baby in her arms and she smiled at him. Steve sat patiently next to her, quietly admiring them, while [Y/N]’s mother raved and took photographs and went outside to talk to the others. [Y/N] held their child in her arms until her exhaustion took over again, and she was finally ready to let Steve have his turn.

Steve held him carefully; such a small boy, such a precious child.

That day… when the team needed to hide in a remote and isolated location, and Steve and the other Avengers found out about Clint’s secret family… that day was something else. Clint had kept it under wraps for so long, but the man was a spy. It was his job to remain covert. Right then and there, it dawned on Steve that such a life was not meant for him: one that included children, one that would have to remain concealed, even if once he might have wanted such a life. He was not in the right business and now he was too damn recognizable. It just wasn’t in the cards for him, so he let go of that idea. It was tough, but Steve did it.

As it turned out, it wasn’t the unexpected pregnancy that was the hardest part… it was the unexpected feelings that he grew for [Y/N] over the following months after he received the news from her. Opening up was harder than letting go, it seemed. Just because the girl was sweet, incredibly sweet, just because he cared about her, it didn’t mean he was able to let his heart take that risk again.

How could it be that he would fight for those in need, was willing to break any bone in his body to get that job done, and yet… be so fearful when it came to the one thing that  _he_  seemed to need. He hadn’t dared to give his heart away again after Peggy, let alone allow the risk of it being broken.

But now that he was holding his sleeping son in his arms, young Nathan James Rogers, he knew he never had a choice in any of this. His heart belonged to his son, Steve mused while he glanced from him to a slumbering [Y/N], and to the woman who birthed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We reached the ending you guys. That was 44k fucking words. Good God. We made it. This was supposed to be a simple and easygoing story after "The Narrow Gate" lol, but apparently I enjoy making my life harder! Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, I hope you give me some feedback. You can also find me on [Tumblr](https://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com/)!


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